Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Karl Rove Slept Well Last Night

Karl Rove kept Tropical Storm Chris from turning into a hurricane so that voters would go out and do his wishing. Like clockwork, Karl was called into action, once again by the Republican Party to do his dirty deeds. One day he hopes that the GOP can go and win races on their own, but for now he will have to get it done.

Late Tuesday, Rove packed away his weather generator, opened a nice Chianti, and checked MSNBC (yes he watches MSNBC) to watch the results of his latest ploy unfold.

First to fall was Cynthia McKinney, an idiot by all measures. Rove hardly needed to lift a finger in this race; she seemed to do all the work. McKinney will now spend her days in a tin foil hat, eating oatmeal, and mumbling about how George W. Bush disenfranchised her favorite McDonalds in Atlanta. Karl Rove saw this and was pleased.

Ah, but Karl Rove's real attention and weather generation activities were focused on The Nutmeg State. The Northeast had seen the second hottest month in history, sweltering heat and humidity. But yesterday, Rove needed Connecticut's left-wing to get out from behind their computers and vote. Therefore, Rove generated the perfect day for voting, 80 degrees with a slight breeze and plenty of sunshine.

It worked and the Lamont voters emerged from under their rocks to vote for a novice gazillionaire executive one-issue candidate to become the new face of the same old self-destructive Democratic Party. Karl Rove saw this and was pleased.

Last night, Karl Rove watched Ned Lamont's victory speech flanked by 1980's liberal retreads Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson. He turned off the news, kissed his Reagan teddy bear, and dreamed of November.