Tuesday, May 09, 2006

The Ties That Bind: The Kennedy's Muck Up The Jack Bauer Kill Counter

In the midst of telling a Patrick Kennedy joke to a co-worker, I thought of something. Something is behind the lack of activity on The Jack Bauer Kill Counter. It appears that Jack Bauer has been trapped in Camelot for the past few weeks. Call it the 6-Degrees of JFK.

To help my argument, I have developed a flow chart:

Jack Bauer - Patrick Kennedy: Jack Bauer drives a 757 down a freeway at 3am better than Patrick Kennedy drives his Mustang at 3am. Both have history of drug abuse.

Patrick Kennedy - Ted Kennedy: Pat is Ted's son.

Patrick Kennedy - SecDef Heller: Both should have their driver's license revoked.

SecDef Heller - Ted Kennedy: Both drove a car into the drink and lived to tell about it. Both have sons they would like to kick in the butt. Both have accused a sitting president of treason.

Ted Kennedy - John F. Kennedy: John was Ted's brother

President Weasel - JFK: Gregory Itzin admits he used JFK as an inspiration for President Charles Logan.