Monday, May 15, 2006

And Now A Message From The President

You could be in for a surprise if you turn on the TV (and/or tune into Blogs4Bauer) tonight at 9pm. No, Wentworth Miller is not on the run from Jack Bauer and Hal Gardner was not killed by Lincoln Burrows. Would President Bush give a primetime speech during American Idol? Why then, would Bush's people let him give a speech during the Fox Power Hours?

President Jack Bauer would not do such a thing. He would secure the border, lower taxes, invade Iran, and stop off in France to kick some poodle-walking mimes - then hold a primetime press conference to bring us up-to-date. It would last 13 seconds, he would yell it, and it could replace an Apple ad during the second commercial break on 24.

"Fellow Americans. I have secured the border, lowered your taxes, invaded some muslim country, and destroyed France. There's no time for details."

Following President Jack Bauer's trip to the border, Guatemala would declare a state of emergency as 20,000,000 Mexican immigrants head south.