Thursday, January 04, 2007

Space Turd Lands in Jersey

A 13 ounce bit of space junk fell from the sky in New Jersey yesterday and hit a Monmouth County home. Remember that just last week a UFO was spotted over Chicago. It now appears that we are under attack from aliens. Everyone panic!

President Bush is not going to help us defeat the invaders. What are the newly elected Democrat majority going to do about it to protect us from the martians?

"But I can do a better job of protecting America's security because the test that I was talking about was a test of legitimacy, not just in the globe, but elsewhere" - John Kerry
Top 10 Likely Democratic Responses to a Martian Invasion.
10. Ted and Patrick Kennedy release statements stating they loves martinis.
9. Amnesty for all aliens, even green ones.
8. Raise taxes on married aliens making more than 70,000 Gromulons a year.
7. John Edwards will distract the alien invaders with his silky hair while we wait for the UN to protect us. China and Ghana will end up blocking a terse letter to the aliens asking them to stop sucking out peoples brains.
6. Show the aliens Seasons 1, 3, 4, and5 of Fox's TV show 24. Season 2 sucked.
5. Send Michelle Malkin to Rigel VII in order to investigate if this is a real threat or just another story fabricated by the liberal media.
4. Pull out of Iraq.
3. Blame the Republican minority.
2. ............nothing
1. Have John Kerry send out an email blaming this all on Bush and ask for more donations.

Have any ideas how the Dems or Republicans would react to our impending doom at the hands of martians? Post them in the comments.

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