Friday, June 30, 2006

Weekend Caption Contest

Everyone have a safe 4th of July! This contest will run until Wednesday Friday (7/7) since I'll be on vacation and celebrating my 1 year wedding anniversary.

This one is dedicated to the troops and my wife. Each has a hard job and puts up with a lot of shit.

Dumbass Caption Contest
(Source - Marine Times)

Top Entries
10. Pvt. Shaw finds Weapons of Ass Destruction. - the man
9. The Democrats finally prove themselves useful during a time of war. - Pam
8. Who Let Slip the Asses of War??? - Cowboy Blob
7. "Hey Knock It Off, Your Screwing With My Shade!" - radio free fred
6. Donkey - $20
Saddlebags full of Iraqifina - $40
Snaggin the only piece of shade in the godforsaken Iraqi desert - Priceless
-Troll
5. "...In other Iraqi news, Sumdik Hu Fukamule says US troops assaulted his girlfriend, and submitted this photo as proof." - fmragtops
4. Marine and unidentified New York Times "War Correspondent"... - adjustah
3. Unknowingly this Marine is frisking Zarqawi's replacement. - Renee
2. "Now, where did I put The New York Times? I gotta take a dump."- Wyatt Earp
1. They got me working my ass off out here! - Deathlok

Photoshop Entries

-Cowboy Blob











-vbjunkie









Previous Contests
Man With a Plan
Watch Your Back Caption Contest
Nice Point
Beat It
Culture Club Contest

Caption Contest Classic (6/30/05)
Blogged Off Caption Contest

Other
Add the OBEY Al Gore logo to your website.

Hey Man Nice Frame - Part 3


The MOAF is back!

The Mother of All Frames made another appearance at a press conference in Iraq.

I support the war in Iraq, but I disagree with relying on American picture frames. I would rather see Iraqi picture frames start to take the burden off American frames. Surely there's a Burka, Bath, and Beyond somewhere in Iraq that has a wide selection of quality Iraqi picture frames.

I support American picture frames. Bring them home now!

Other
Hey Man Nice Frame - Part 2
Hey Man Nice Frame
Nice Point Caption Contest

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Emails From John Kerry/Hillary Clinton: Part 2

Like I mentioned before, I've signed up for emails from camps of John Kerry and Hillary Clinton. From the start, I noticed that when an email from "John Kerry" arrived, another one from "Hillary" came soon after. My quest is to determine if they are the same person.

Today, Hillary sent the first email followed by an email from John Kerry. For those of us who question whether Kerry has a firm grasp of night and day...behold your moment of Zen.

Email from Hillary - 10:33am

Blah, Blah, George Bush, blah, blah George Bush, blah, blah Donate Money.
Email from John Kerry - 11:44am

Shhhh! The President is Coming
Last night, President Bush appeared at a big-ticket fundraiser for embattled GOP Senator Jim Talent in Missouri. Tomorrow, it's off to Ohio to raise funds for Mike DeWine, another GOP Senator that we have a solid chance to defeat come November.

The Republicans think they can sneak President Bush and Vice President Cheney in and out of these states under cover of darkness, and that vulnerable Republican candidates will pick up GOP special interest campaign dollars -- not Bush-Cheney baggage.
The sun set in St. Louis at 8:29pm yesterday, 1 hour and 59 minutes after Air Force One took off from "Lambeau" International Airport heading back to Washington DC.

John Kerry does not know night from day or that matter, his ass from a hole in the ground.

Previous
Emails From John Kerry/Hillary Clinton

(Linked on OTB)

Headline of the Day

Drinking and driving won't be tolerated on holiday weekend
Kevin Darr
Clarion Journal
06/28/2006
As opposed to the times when boozing and cruising is tolerated?

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

24 Point/Counterpoint

Point: Bauer, You're Out!
by Jimmy "Da Hammer" Lopez


On behalf of the 2006 Jimmy's Seaside Coed Softball team, we would like to thank Jack Bauer for a solid year. We won the Orange County League Championship, however the methods used by certain members of our squad cannot be tolerated. The team voted and Jack Bauer will not be a part of the Jimmy's Seaside team for the 2007 season.

We really appreciate Jack Bauer coming out and playing third base for us. His .865 batting average, 34 Homeruns, and 123 Runs driven in were tops in the league. We finished the season with 34 wins and zero losses. Teams like The Hamslammers, Bob's Discount Tires, Beer-runs, and The Smokin' Gunz had no shot against us this year.

But winning is not everything.


Read More

Dumb Criminals Part 10

Warning: Never try this at home.

While this post is part of my "dumb" criminals series, I'd like to add that the subject of this post falls more into the "brazen...but dumb" category. Also, an uncle of mine was a captain in the police department mentioned in this story for a number of years, so I'm already biased against the criminal involved. Regardless, he's an idiot. The criminal that is (not my uncle).

Early Wednesday morning, a man was arrested by the St. Louis County Police department for DUI and put into handcuffs. However, this was just the beginning for both the police and the suspect.

As the police officer was away from his car, the suspect (in handcuffs) managed to get his hands in front of his body and proceeded to steal the police car. The car was finally stopped, but the handcuffed/drunk suspect tried to ram a police car - shots were fired at the car, but missed the suspect.

The stolen police car sped away and later crashed, injuring the suspect. Still handcuffed/drunk/injured, the suspect fled on foot. His night was ended after a brief chase and was sent to the hospital.

Wyatt - Remember to taser drunks who are flexible prior to placing them in a police car.

(Source - STL Today)

Previous Entries
Dumb Criminals Part 1
Dumb Criminals Part 2
Dumb Criminals Part 3
Dumb Criminals Part 4
Dumb Criminals Part 5
Dumb Criminals Part 6
Dumb Criminals Part 7
Dumb Criminals Part 8
Dumb Criminals Part 9

Delonas Takes on The Times

Another classic cartoon by The NY Post's Sean Delonas.
I like the Redcoad wearing shades to protect "the whites of their eyes".

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

It's Your Ass Hamas

CNN and Drudge are reporting that Israel Radio claims troop movement in what could be a full-scale invasion of Gaza.

"We would not make compromises with terror...No terrorist would be immune." - Prime Minister Ehud Olmert

Emails From John Kerry/Hillary Clinton

I have signed up for emails from John Kerry and Hillary Clinton. I have noticed that when I get an email from "John Kerry" another one from "Hillary" comes soon after. Are Kerry and Hillary the same person? What does Kerry mean by Bush's trip being a "cut and run affair"? Also, who signed me up for The Huffington Post's daily email?

Today (6/27/06)
Email from John Kerry - 11:01am

President Bush will be sneaking into St. Louis tomorrow to raise money for Republican Senator Jim Talent. If it's like most GOP fundraising featuring Bush and Cheney these days, it will be a "cut and run" affair.
Email from Hillary - 12:57pm

I don't have to tell you how important it is for us to take back control of Congress this November. From their attacks on the environment, to their fiscal irresponsibility, to their "more of the same" strategy on Iraq, we see every day how the Washington Republicans consistently put ideology and politics ahead of the priorities of the American people.

I will continue to publish the timing of Kerry and Clinton's emails until the truth comes out.

Other
Emails from John Kerry: False Claims
Emails from John Kerry: You're Not Invited!
I donated $200 to HillaryClinton.com and all I got was this lousy t-shirt!
John Kerry: Losing Firm
Losers of the world unite!
Kerry for Ferrer
Socialism 101

Anyone Up For Some Cambodian For Lunch?

PHNOM PENH, Cambodia (AP) -- Thirty Cambodians suffered food poisoning after eating homemade noodles contaminated with chewing tobacco that had dropped into the batter from the cook's mouth, police said Monday.

Yuck.

(Source - 1010 WINS)

Kyle XY

The wife and I have a new favorite TV show until January (when Jack Bauer returns). The show is Kyle XY and airs on ABC Family on Mondays at 8pm EST.

The show centers around "Kyle", a 16-year old who emerges from the woods. He has no clue about the workings of the world around him, but is a genius. A typical ABC Family-esq...family brings him into their home.

ABC Family is rerunning the premier on Friday at 9pm EST.

It looks like a good show, unfortunatly it is on ABC Family surrounded by shows like 7th Heaven and Falcon Beach.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Karl Rove Behind Boy Band Breakups

With the Bush Administration caught in yet another scandal involving the invasion of the terrorists privacy, Karl Rove has been mobilized for damage control. Bless the NY Times for standing up for the little man. Even the little man with a bomb belt yelling "Allah Akbar" on a crowded bus or in a nightclub in Bali.

With no tropical storms to manufacture into hurricanes, Karl Rove instead forced Kevin Richardson out of The Backstreet Boys. That's right; Karl Rove has orchestrated the breakup of The Backstreet Boys to take terrorist financial record tracking-gate off the front pages. Damn you Karl Rove, damn you to hell!

Karl Rove and his expertise in altering weather patterns to cover both Bush and his own butt has been well documented, the fact that his tentacles extend deep into the boy-band world has been a closely held secret until now. Even the NY Times did not have the guts to report this.

1994 - New Kid on The Block
Reports of the profits being made by George W. Bush while selling The Texas Rangers were cut short after New Kids on the Block broke up in 1994.
2002 - The Protocols of N'Sync
In 2002, the Kyoto protocol was rejected by President Bush. However, the news of N'Sync breaking up dominated the airwaves for months.
2004 - Ohio Minus One
Did you hear that Bush stole Ohio in the 2004 election? No, because Plus One broke up.
If our boy bands are not safe, then the terrorists (and Karl Rove) have already won.

Previous
Tin Hat Tuesday: Karl Rove Avoids Jail; Alberto Weakens
Plame It On The Rain

Friday, June 23, 2006

Weekend Caption Contest

Man With a Plan Caption Contest
(Source - AP)

Top Entries
10. "Aw, hell! They got the cards mixed up at the printers... this is OUR Plan on Iraq!"- Mr. Right
9. Reid: Who knows what eeeeevil the republicans are planning in Iraq? The Shadow knows! Buahahahahaha - fmragtops
8. How many F's are there in Exit Strategy? - Adjustah
7. "Interestingly, the GOP's Iraq strategy bears a striking resemblance to my mind." - Damian G
6. Picture of Senator Reid just before bursting into another tantrum. "Someone took my crayons!" - Troll
5. Reid thinking to himself...Now why is it I can cast a shadow but my reflection doesn't show up in a mirror? - Renee
4. Shadow: "You're making us look like jerks!" - Wyatt Earp
3. "Did some idiot put Stabenow in charge of the placards again?" - Mr. Right
2.
-The Man



1. Oh No! He sees his shadow! Two More Years of Democrat Winter (Republican Congressional Majority)! - Cowboy Blob

Photoshop Entries
Reid: After 3 years in Iraq, Democrats have finally come up with a strategy. Ninja Monkey? Dammit Kerry, this is all we can come up with?
-The Man





-The Man







-Wyatt Earp








-Rodney Dill






Previous Contests
Watch Your Back Caption Contest
Nice Point
Beat It

Culture Club Contest
We "Sí" You Caption Contest

Caption Contest Classic (6/3/05)
Lady and the Vamp


Other
Add the OBEY Al Gore logo to your website.

Ann Curry: Bad Bearer of Bad News

Ann Curry (this morning)
"...a devastating loss for Team USA...but one that was expected"
Screw you Ann.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

German Army Takes a Pounding

Units of the German Army were headed to The Democratic Republic of Congo to help police elections. One unit was held back from the mission after some strange behavior in its ranks.

In one incident reported in the German press, members of the unit allegedly placed fruit in the backside of one soldier and pounded it with a paddle. Initial reports said the soldier had willingly participated in the act.
Master race my ass. No pun intended.

(Source - EUBusiness)

A Flag Burns in Brooklyn

Residents in the Marine Park section of Brooklyn who flew Old Glory woke up on Thursday to find their flags torched. Police are investigating.

Brooklyn was also the scene of another Hate America Crime over Memorial Day. A 12-year old Muslim boy or Arabic decent went around and vandalized homes and cars of people who had the nerve to fly a US flag outside their homes.

In May, Brooklyn was the site of an Anti-Israel march by 200 Brooklyn Palestinians that turned into a hate US-fest.

Brooklyn was home to Shahawar Martin Siraj, 23, who was arrested and convicted in a plot to blow up the Herald Square subway station during the Republican National Convention.

(Source - 1010 Wins)

Supersize This: New York City Council

The NY City Council is always busy with meaningful activities like: calling for the head of Karl Rove, mailing out campaign literature, lauding Cuba's human rights, bashing the military, handcuffing police, slandering our founding fathers, and other pointless activities.

Pointless NY City Council Action #423
Councilman Joel Rivera (D) knows that New York has an obesity problem so he wants to fix it.
Does he want to encourage people to exercise? No
Does he want to have restaurants to include more healthy food? No
Does he want to have a campaign to get people to eat healthier? No

No, Rivera wants to rig the NY zoning regulations so fast food restaurants are limited in low-income areas. Because the fast food joints are to obviously to blame for people being fat, not the people who do avoid exercise and don't watch what they eat.

The same places he's trying to zone-out are major employers in these low-income areas. If Rivera's "burger-free" plan takes shape - many kids will become unemployed (broke, but skinny). Also, what will Rivera define as "fast-food"? Will Mr. Softee trucks and pizza joints be lumped in with KFC and Wendy's? Will the list be determined by who sends the most campaign contributions? Will this also hurt the low-income residents who will lose access to cheap food?

This idea is harebrained at best, but as it's coming from the NY City Council - it is to be expected.

Joel Rivera- Democrat
rivera@council.nyc.ny.us

(Source - Newsday)

Team USA - Ghana Open Post

Update:
Team USA


This site will be closed at 9:55am EST for Team USA -vs- Ghana.
Feel free to post comments as the game progresses.
It will be like 24 Liveblogging with fewer bodies.


Feel free to add this image to your site.

Other
Top 10 Reasons Jack Bauer Hates Soccer
World Cup Drinking Game

Team USA Scenarios

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Team USA - World Cup Scenarios

Team USA - Ghana
10:00 am EST - ESPN

To advance to the second round of the World Cup, Team USA must beat Team Ghana tomorrow. Unfortunately, it's not that simple. The following must take place for Team USA (if they beat Ghana) to advance:

1. Italy defeats the Czech Republic.

2. Italy ties the Czech Republic 0-0 or 1-1 AND the United States beats Ghana by at least four goals.

3. Italy ties the Czech Republic 2-2 or with a higher score AND the United States beats Ghana by five or more goals.

4. Italy ties the Czech Republic 2-2 or with a higher score AND the United States beats Ghana by four goals AND the U.S. team scores at least three goals more than the Czechs do in their tie.

5. The Czech Republic beats Italy AND the total combined margin of victory for the Americans and Czechs is six or more.

6. The Czech Republic beats Italy AND the total combined margin of victory for the Americans and Czechs is five AND the U.S. team scores at least three goals more than the Italians do in their loss.

7. The Czech Republic beats Italy AND the total combined margin of victory for the Americans and Czechs is five AND the U.S. team scores exactly two more goals than the Italians do in their loss AND the Americans win a drawing of lots by FIFA.

Oh and Team USA has only 1 shot on goal in two games. Plus, if they do advance, they get to play Brazil. Great.

Once Team USA is done, it's time to start rooting for the fatherland. That's right, my Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great Grandfather was English. That's "net roots" for you.

Other
Click Here to watch Peter Crouch (UK) do his Robot Dance.

(Source - ESPN)

Y200K


GOP and the City is nearing 200,000 hits slower than a Buick in the far left lane of the LIE with its blinker on. I blame Jack Bauer for not getting here sooner.

When GOP and the City finally passes the 200k mark, I hear that Michelle Malkin will post a segment on Hot Air to celebrate (above). Yipee.

Update: Since I had 5,779 hits on StatCounter prior to signing up for Site Meter - it appears I had 200,000 hits a couple of weeks ago. Michelle Malkin needs to get busy on that Hot Air Segment.

Previous
GOP and the City Turns 1
GOP and the City Hits 100,000

Brit and the Twit try and save the Bit


Kevin Federline and Sir Richard Branson will be in Times Square today in an effort to save the penny from extinction and to promote a penny text messaging plan for Virgin Mobile.

Branson's net worth is around 300,000,000,000 pennies.

If Kevin Federline is for keeping the penny, then count me as one who is against the penny. I am in the camp that knows a penny is about as useful as Kevin Federline.

"Po, po, po, po, popozão, popozão" - Kevin Federline
(Source - Yahoo)

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

NY Ranked Most Courteous City : Suck it Paris!

Reader's Digest, a magazine you read if you are 87 years old and enjoy lame jokes and cartoons, recently named New York City "the most courteous city in the world". No shit. New York beat out Paris, Ljubljana, Toronto, and others for the title.


Highest Score - New York (80)
Toronto (70)
Berlin (68)
Paris (57)
London (57)
Lowest Score - Mumbai, India (38)

You jerks in Mumbai should try and learn some manners from the folks in New York.

Tourist #1: Wait, where are we?
Skater kid: Fuckin' Earth man, fucking Earth.
Tourist #2: Wait, where?
--Bethesda Fountain, Central Park
via Overheard in New York, Jun 18, 2006

(Source - Reader's Digest)

Tin Hat Tuesday: OHS Finally Thinking With Their Head

According to "The News", Office of Homeland Security officials have taken time away from trying to pickup underage girls on the internet to develop a plan to protect The Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco. The plan involves strategic Boobing of the famous bridge.

Operation Bust Attacks involves placing 25 nude women (that's 50 boobs) around the bridge. The idea is that religious radicals (aka - militant muslims) will be too shocked and awed by the display of skin to carry out their terrorist plot.

"Most religious zealots who would harm our nation are youths who have not seen one naked woman, let alone many. The shock, shame or simple eye-popping spectacle is going to make them do a U-turn pretty quickly. Or else drive into the bay, which is just as good." - Dr. Henry Chilvers, Professor Emeritus of Religion and Morality
OHS announced that if Operation Bust Attacks is a success, we can expect similar defensive measures at other national monuments like The Statue of Liberty, Dollywood, and my house.

Al Qaeda would likely counter with their "G-Bomb". The throngs of naked women protecting Lady Liberty would be joined by men telling the women their shoes are "just fabulous" and asking about their hair.

(Source - World Weekly News)

Previous Tin Hat Tuesdays
Tin Hat Tuesday: Karl Rove Avoids Jail; Alberto Weakens
Trojan Camel
For Sale: Vermont
Back to the Future
The G-bomb
Blair Bombed Britian
Skywarriors
Army Minivan
Karl Rove

Monday, June 19, 2006

The Ronaldo Martinez Commercials Are Freaking Me Out!

The NY Department of Health has been airing commercials featuring Ronaldo Martinez, a 53 year old man from Puerto Rico, who had his larynx removed 14 years ago when he was 39.

The ads have Mr. Martinez speaking about effects that years of smoking have done to his health. He speaks with the aid of a mechanical voice box, which make him sound like Ned Gerblansky from South Park.

The ads are disturbing, but they work. 15,000 people have called the DoH's smoking hotline for help on quitting.

They still freak me and my wife out.

(Source - NY Daily News)

Friday, June 16, 2006

Weekend Caption Contest

Watch Your Back Caption Contest
(Source - AP)

Top Entries
10. After the picture was taken Bush turned to them and said: You guys are butt toast! Yee Haw! - Sssteve
9. Teddy Kennedy is thinking that he should offer the President a ride in his Olds like he did Mary Jo. - PCD
8. The Pep Boys: Klanny, Moe, and Jack (Daniels). - Wyatt Earp
7.
- The Man



6. As usual, the democrats are always in the background, three steps behind, and looking clueless. - rt
5. Bush: Stay the Course!Byrd: Cut and Run!Kennedy: Has Helen Thomas gotten a new hairdo? - Cowboy Blob
4. President Bush is joined at a recent press conference by Democrat Senators "Sheets" and "3 Sheets to the Wind". - Mr. Right
3. Song running through Bush's head..."Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, here I am, stuck in the middle with you" - Renee
2. Bush, instead of having a little angel on one shoulder and a little devil on the other, got screwed with a clansman and a drunk. - Jwookie
1. Statler and Waldorf couldn't wait to see what Fozzie would say next... - Adjustah

Photoshop Entries


-The Man












-The Man








Previous Contests
Nice Point
Beat It
Culture Club Contest
We "Sí" You Caption Contest
Hillary Caption Contest Part 142

Caption Contest Classic (7/15/05)
What Me Worry? Caption Contest

Other
Add the OBEY Al Gore logo to your website.

Jack Bauer ♥'s NYC

New York City officials are in talks with producers at Fox, trying to have a couple of episodes of Season 6 filmed in New York City. With Jack on a ship to China and Tony being dead, there's only one plot line that 24 can bring to The Big Apple:
Kim Bauer goes to Central Park and is stalked by a cougar.

What other plots can arise from Gotham? Post your suggestions in the comments section.

(Source - NY Post)


Got a post about 24?
You still have time to submit it for The Carnival of Bauer!!!
Blog Carnival submission form - carnival of bauer!!!
The next carnival will be held at Blogs4Bauer on Monday (6/26).

Thursday, June 15, 2006

World Cup 2006 Drinking Game

After spending the past few days watching the World Cup, I can't help but think a drinking game would be easy to develop out of the event. Hell, we need something to do once USA is booted out of the Cup.


-Drink each time a player goes down after getting hit in the "balls" like that poor dude from Trinidad and Tobago (above).
-Drink twice each time Dave O'Brien says something really stupid
-Drink each time a commercial comes on in a language you don't understand.
-Drink when Dave O'Brien says the word "balls"
-Drink whenever someone comments on the lackluster play of Team USA
-Drink each time a soccer player fakes an injury


Got other submissions? Post them in the comments.

Hey Man Nice Frame - Part 2

The MOAF - The Mother of all Frames
The US military unveiled the image of Abu Ayyub al-Masri, the man who has taken the place as head of al-Qaida in Iraq. Al-Masri means "dead meat" in Arabic.

Abu Ayyub al-Masri should be nervous, because the US military is using the same picture frame that once held the last photo ever taken of Musab al-Zarqawi. Anyone who shows up in that frame, ends up on the business end of 500 pounds of GPS-guided bad news. Showing up on that frame is akin to having your image show up on Jack Bauer's PDA.

al-Qaida - Fear the Frame!

It's a Weapon of Matted Destruction.

Other
Hey Man Nice Frame
Nice Point Caption Contest

Dumb Criminals Part 10

Look it's a bird...no it's a plane...no it's...
A guy in Brooklyn with a foot fetish dressed in a superman t-shirt with a cape.


Ladies, if you find yourself in the Flatbush area of Brooklyn and a guy dressed as superman is following you, odds are you have something he wants. Nice feet.

Police have arrested Sean Cumberbatch for a number of strange foot-related assaults on women in Brooklyn. Cops say that one woman called 911 after Sean followed her, grabbed her legs, and then pulled his cape over her legs - rubbed her feet and then stole a sandal. The victim gave chase and "superman" threw her sandal at her.

(Source - NY Post)

Previous Entries
Dumb Criminals Part 1
Dumb Criminals Part 2
Dumb Criminals Part 3
Dumb Criminals Part 4
Dumb Criminals Part 5
Dumb Criminals Part 6
Dumb Criminals Part 7
Dumb Criminals Part 8
Dumb Criminals Part 9

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Let's Play "What if the shoe was on the other foot?"

Imagine (for a moment) if the following actually took place:

A Republican primary involving 4 white candidates and one candidate who is black. Historically the district they are all running for is a solid Republican district. However, the white candidates do not want a black candidate in the race, as it may "dilute" white power.
So the white candidates try to mobilize the state and national GOP against the lone black candidate and force them out of the race. "The New York City Republicans are in full support of the 11th congressional seat remaining a whites-only seat."
In reality, would the major press outlets be silent as they are on the real story of David Yassky and his candidacy to represent the 11th District in Congress? In all reality, Yassky doesn't have a snowball's chance in hell to win this race, but he should be "allowed" to get his butt kicked, despite his lack of skin color. What year is this anyway?

David Yassky's only other option may be to pull a "Patrick Kennedy".

Other
Party of Tolerance Update
Black Officials Press Democrats To Oppose Yassky

An open letter to God on John Kerry

John Kerry - 2004
Voted for the Iraqi war before he was against it. Voted for funding the Iraq war before he was against funding the Iraq war.

John Kerry - 2006
(politicians) "cannot have it both ways." (on Iraq)

(Source)

Dear God,

Thank you for John Kerry. He's Awesome with a capital "A".
-The Man

Happy Flag Day


Happy Flag Day!

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Patrick Kennedy Pleads Guilty to DUI...and DWB

Patrick Kennedy pleaded guilty to DUI in exchange for the dropping of reckless driving and failure to exhibit a driving permit charges. The security barrier and Kennedy's passenger (a leprechaun named Charles) had no comment.

Still unresolved are his claims that he was just pulled over for Driving while Black. Kennedy's lawyer, Jackie Chiles, claims that allegations his client was driving without lights at 3am and crashed into a barrier were irrelevant.

Sorry, it had to be done.

(Source - Wash Post)

Related
Patrick Kennedy is Back in Black...face
Patrick Kennedy Helped Send the 1996 NY Yankees to the World Series, in Black-face
Patrick Kennedy's Role on 24, in black-face
Photo Evidence: Patrick Kennedy Present at Oswald Shooting, In Black-face...
Media Silence: Sen. Reid Also Took Patrick Kennedy To Boxing Matches
Patrick Kennedy Goes Black-face Caption Contest
Patrick Kennedy: Soul Man
The Kennedy's Muck Up The Jack Bauer Kill Counter
Stop me if you have heard this one before...

Tin Hat Tuesday: Karl Rove Avoids Jail; Alberto Weakens

WASHINGTON, June 13 (UPI) -- White House adviser Karl Rove won't face charges related to the leaking of the name of a CIA operative, a U.S. special prosecutor has determined.
Weather.com: Tropical Storm Alberto will weaken as it moves over land today

Karl Rove has avoided lethal injection (for now). As Rovie walks away, his creation (Tropical Storm Alberto) has weakened faster than Patrick Fitzgerald's case against him.

Had Rove been indicted, you can be assured that Alberto would have been turned into a hurricane by Rove's Weather Generator (which is stored in his garage). Instead of reports of Karl Rove's arrest; the news would be filled with images of weathermen weatherpeople standing in knee deep water, as buildings fly down the street, telling us there are high winds and rising water. Want more proof? Who is the Attorney General? Alberto Gonzalez!

Does this sound familiar? Back in October of 2005, I noted in the post titled "Plame It On The Rain" that every blue state (minus Maine and California) had heavy rain as Karl Rove's name was dropped from the top story to 20 minutes into the newscasts, replaced by weatherpeople in water.

Karl Rove - stop messing with the weather.

Other
Plame It On The Rain
Karl Rove's Weather Generator Storage Center

Lifelike Pundits have a more level-headed look at it
The Night Before Fitzmas
The 5 Stages of Rove Anxiety
Malkin has a roundup
Lawhawk has some advice
Wizbang is reaction-blogging

Previous Tin Hat Tuesdays
Trojan Camel
For Sale: Vermont
Back to the Future
The G-bomb
Blair Bombed Britian
Skywarriors
Army Minivan
Karl Rove

Add the OBEY Al Gore logo to your website.