Wednesday, December 13, 2006

John Kerry Mideast Tour - 2006

The USO is known for sending over comedians like Bob Hope overseas to visit our troops. Now a new comedian is heading to Iraq to spread some cheer amongst our troops.

John "you get stuck in Iraq" Kerry will stop in Iraq on a tour that will also take him to comedy clubs in Egypt, Jordan, Lebanon, Syria and Israel. The Beirut Comedy Shack, Baghdad Improv, and the Cairo Laugh Factory have all sold out. The show in Tehran was canceled after the local mullahs forbid people from laughing.

Here are some samples of his jokes that John Kerry plans on telling our troops:

“You know, education, if you make the most of it, if you study hard and you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, uh, you, you can do well. If you don’t, you get stuck in Iraq.”
"When I heard that the US military was heading to the Mideast, I thought...what the hell has Iowa ever done to us?"
"Did you hear the joke about the dumb Marines? They sent 3 divisons to the Gulf, now Mexico has no idea what to do with them."
"Q: What do you do if a US soldier throws a pin at you?
A: Run like hell - he's still got a hand-grenade between his teeth."

John Kerry has a few words for the people who are still offended by him calling our soldiers poorly educated. "For anybody who misunderstood (the joke) or got only the White House presentation of it, I'd apologize, obviously," said Kerry (D-ouche).