Wednesday, November 01, 2006

John Kerry: Last Comic Standing

"You know, education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don't, you get stuck in Iraq."
-a joke by John Kerry

After being told that his insult to American troops was not funny, John Kerry claimed it was just "a botched joke about the president". After being told that the insult to American troops was actually John Kerry's attempt at humor, the editors of this website have to question his decision to publish a book of his jokes.


We took a look at some of the material inside the book and found that John Kerry is quite funny. Funny looking.

Here are some "botched jokes" from John Kerry's book that failed our unilateral comedic litmus test. Check them out and then add any that you might think Kerry would find amusing in the comments.

John Kerry on Polish Army Jokes
"Did you hear about the Polish Army? They sent a bunch of troops to the Gulf, now they are in a hopeless situation that has no end in sight. A conflict which I was for before I was against."

"The Polish Army bought a 1,000 Septic Tanks. When they learn how to drive them, George Bush will lead them into another Vietnam and rape women in a manner like Genghis Khan."

"How do you sink a polish battleship?" "Place it under the unavailing command of George W. Bush"

John Kerry on Midget Jokes
"Did you hear about the Polish midget? Neither did I, because of George Bush's immigration stance."

John Kerry on Blonde Jokes
"You know, education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, you dye your hair brown and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don't, you get stuck in the backseat of the Jr. Varsity football team's quarterback."

What do you call 10 blondes at the bottom of a pool? A failed policy of instructing our young girls how to swim. Republican don't like little girls and want them to drown in Iraq.

John Kerry on Republican Jokes
"Two Republican hunters were driving through the country to go bearhunting. They came upon a fork in the road where a sign read "BEAR LEFT" so they oppressed minorities and their right to vote.

"How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb?" "2. One to supplant the light blub while the other tunes the radio to Rush Limbaugh."