Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Canadian Invasion

Canadian forces storm Lejeune

CAMP LEJEUNE, N.C. — Canadian military members stormed the beaches here last Friday. -
Marine Times
There you have it. Canadian forces invaded our East Coast last Friday! This is the first we hear about it? I know the media is busy interviewing PS3 Nerds and Wii Geeks, but to ignore a major military operation against our country is really irresponsible, but predictable?

It's obvious that, without a draft, our military cannot expect to hold out for very long against the Canadian military. Therefore, I would like to welcome our Canadian overlords to America, ehhhh. On behalf of my family, and my tens of readers: Welcome to America or as I like to call it New Canada.

Personally, I look forward to free health care, Mounties, and the Canadian dollar. About that free health care, Canada's population has now jumped from 32 million to 332 million or an increase of 920%. Can I go ahead and fill my prescriptions before the lines form?

Did I mention that I'm all abbboouuutt hockey? Forget all that fluff in the NFL, MLB, NBA, AFL, and WNBA - The NFL is where it's at. The first thing we should do is remove NHL teams from the south and put them back in Canada! The second will be to change the NFL to CFL rules - 110 yards of Canadian Football Action.

I will not grow a mullet or speak French, that's where I draw a line.

Everyone join me in a round of O Canada.

O Canada! Our home and native land!
True patriot love in all thy sons command.
With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
The True North strong and free!
From far and wide, O Canada,
We stand on guard for thee.
God keep our land glorious and free!
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee!
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee!