Tuesday, September 05, 2006

You are so conservative if... Part 1

Have you ever been asked if you are a conservative? If you have trouble determining your status, here are some key signs that will point you in the right direction.

Maybe it's the video of the 1984 Republican Convention sitting on the top of your Netflix list? Or that you pride yourself as living in "flyover country." Here are some of the signs you may be a conservative:

-Your French poodle is still technically a "freedom poodle"
-It would be a cold day in hell before you vote for McCain...unless he runs against Hillary.
-You don't recycle just to piss off Al Gore.
-If your SUV is on its third set of cause magnets
-If you ever counter protested.
-You responded "HELL NO" when a DNC volunteer asked if you wanted to sign a petition.
-If you think Nicole Richie needs to eat a sammich, but Ann Coulter is smoking hot.
-If you Refresh The Drudge Report For Latest...
-If you wrote in "Ronald Regan" while voting for County Clerk.
-You have Karl Rove in your Top 8.
-You vowed to move to Texas if Gore won in 2000 and Alabama if Kerry won in 2004.
-If you just cannot get past Jack Bauer's liberal social attitudes.

Do you have other signs of being a conservative? Post them in the comments and I'll include them in Part 2.

Disclaimer: These entries are a joke. You do not have to be conservative to fall under these entries. Not all conservatives subscribe to these ideals. If you base your political ideals on a song, celebrity's opinion, bumper sticker, TV show, cartoon, movie, or blog entry you are a moron and should move to Boston (or New Jersey).

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You are so liberal if...
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Best Of YSL