Thursday, August 31, 2006

Hey Graham Stewart, Nice Mask!

President Bush flew into Nashvegas yesterday for a fundraiser and was met with the usual mix of supporters and haters. The Tennessean was there to get quotes from both groups and to take a few photos in the process. Click Here for the slideshow.

One photo caught my eye. It's a mean looking protestor dressed in black. Black shades, black shirt, black a ninja. This was most likely to conceal his identity from the Neo-Con Death Squads lurking in the crowd; he even sports a black bandanna over his mouth.

The Tennessean lists his name (Graham Stewart) in the caption of the photo. Cover blown.

"Graham Stewart, in mask" has to be one of the funniest things I have ever read.

Note: I know he might have thrown out a fake name to further throw Karl Rove off his trail.

I Want To Be An Overpaid School Administrators Too!

Job Opening
Earn over $100,000 a year - with benefits!
Job Description: Enjoy a job where you can never be let go! Enjoy a job where you don't have to do any work...AND GET PAID for it! Push paper while more qualified people get passed over! Act Now.
Contact the NY City School System ASAP!
The "dance of the lemons" continues in the union plagued NYC City School system. The city is being forced to spend $5,200,000 this year in order to shuffle around 44 School Administrators that none of the 1,400 schools in New York want or need. These administrators will take their salaries, some over $100,000, and will soon become the most expensive paper pushers in all of New York.

The $5.2 million could have hired 80 new teachers that the children desperatly need, but the union contracts for these administrators protect them from being let go and stipulate that they cannot take teaching jobs.

Today, there are 44 excessed APs [without jobs] in our school system. These are administrators who have apparently been unable to find positions in any of our 1,400 schools, despite the fact that we have many vacancies . . - Letter from Schools Chancellor Joel Klein
Source - NY Daily News

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Still Yet Another 101 Uses for Castro's Corpse

It has now been a month since Fidel Castro hit room temperature and there has been no word on his current condition by the man himself. You know what that means? Time to look for more uses for the dictator...uhh I mean former dictator's corpse.

Still Yet Another 101 Uses for Castro's Corpse

#7 - Pinata (RFTR)
#14 - Couric Double
#17 - Curtis Martin's replacement
#23 - Shark bait or surfboard (rt)
#31 - Food for the homeless
#45 - Spokesman for 'Craftmatic Adjustable Bed" (Troll)
#56 - Doorstop (Pam)
#59 - Weekend at Bernie's Part 3 (Tyler D)
#60 - Airplane chock
#73 - Star of new Bravo show
#88 - McKinney's latest excuse for losing her primary. (jimmyb)

Do you have additional options for Castro's corpse? Post them in the comments section below.

If Castro does not come out and admit he's not dead by next week, I will have to post Oh God, Another 101 Uses for Castro's Corpse.

Yet Another 101 Uses for Castro's Corpse
101 More Uses for Castro's Corpse
101 Uses for Castro's Corpse
Where in the World is Fidel?
NY Dem: Castro Better Leader Than Bush


Last night, my wife let me know she wanted to buy a Jets jersey. She asked me what NY Jets jersey I thought she should buy. I told her to buy "a Giants jersey."

Help me choose what jersey she should get by voting below.

Which NY Jets Jersey should my wife buy?

Curtis Martin
Chad Pennington
Jonathan Vilma
Laveraneus Coles
Joe Namath
None, she should save the money and buy me Madden 07

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Hot Wing Conspiracy Football - Team Preview

The Hot Wing Conspiracy Football League is ready for Season III. This season there will be weekly previews and recaps of the action on and off the field. We will also have contests and other football related goodness. The week 1 recap will be hosted here and it will be put out by a very special exclusive surprise guest.

Now, here's a preview of one of the favorites to win the championship, Robots Eat Babies.

Team: Robots Eat Babies
Manager: Me
Last Season: 5-8
7th Place (of 10)

New team name - new season. Looks like it may be the same outcome. I'm starting to think my fantasy football woes are my fault and not the waiver wire or my team's doing.

Week 1 matchup : bRight & Early

Starting Lineup
QB - Peyton Manning
- I have been trying to get Manning in the first round in almost every league I have ever entered. I guess it's the Tennessee Vols fan in me. Now that I have him, all the "experts" say you should not select him in the first round.
WR - Reggie Wayne
WR - TJ Houshmandzadeh
WR - Braylon Edwards
- I picked enjoy having Houshmandzadeh on my team because his name is worth something like 600 points in Scrabble. Wayne plays with Manning - so if he and Manning hook up, I could score double. Beyond Housh.... and Wayne, the WR corps on my team is pretty weak.
RB - DeShaun Foster
RB - Cedric Benson
- How bad is my RB situation? When I first saw my team after it was auto-drafted - the Patriots 3rd string RB was my #2 back. I will be a waiver wire whore come week 1.
TE - Heath Miller
Yeah, I have a good Tight End. Dammit.
W/R - Mark Clayton
Clayton is hurt, but he has Steve McNair at QB. I am not sure which is worse.
K - Lawrence Tynes
Can Manning kick?
DEF- New York
The NY Giants that is. The NY Jets Defense was not selected - for good reasons.
QB - Billy Volek
WR - Corey Bradford
WR - Peerless Price
RB - Laurence Maroney
The Titans signed Kerry Collins so Volek's days are numbered.

Got any suggestions? Please, I need some help.

Monday, August 28, 2006

Jack Bauer Emmy Count

Jack Bauer has one question for Ned Lamont. How many Emmy Awards have you won?

And it would have been 3 Emmy Awards for Jack Bauer if the technical award for Outstanding Use of an Exploding Memory Stick had not gone to that jerk in House.

Bauer2006 Launch
Bauer2006 Platform #1 - Jack Bauer is not Ned Lamont
Bauer2006 Platform #2 - Jack Bauer will not cut and run
Bauer2006 Platform #3 - Jack Bauer will cut moles and waste
Bauer2006 Platform #4 - Jack Bauer will man the border fence
Bauer2006 Platform #5 - No Black Helicopters
Bauer2006 Platform #6 - This Is My Daughter
Bauer2006 Platform #7 - One Sure Thing In My Administration Will Be Death And Taxes
And Now, A Message From Your Candidate

Former Black Panter Calls Rudy Giuliani 'Racist'

NY City Councilman and Congressional candidate Charles "I ♥ Castro" Barron (D-Brooklyn)throws race cards around like they were Cheerios.

Everyone knows the story about how New Orleans mayor Ray Nagin pulled his foot out of his ass and into his mouth by stating "You guys in New York City can’t get a hole in the ground fixed, and it’s five years later". Of course, he was criticized for calling Ground Zero a "hole in the ground". It's not racist to call him on his poor choice of words.

In steps Barron, who calls the criticisms of Nagin a “racist double standard.” Snakes on a City councilman.

“Here you have two white mayors in New York City — one a racist, Giuliani, and the other a billionaire, Michael Bloomberg — and five years later they still haven’t built up downtown Manhattan after 9/11 and they got the nerve to ask him about one year after Katrina.”
“Giuliani put a little mask on his face so he didn’t get dust in his mouth and nose and he was called ‘America’s Mayor...Five years later, the place isn’t even built. They didn’t criticize Bloomberg, they didn’t criticize Giuliani. Ain’t no maybe, they didn’t do it to the white mayors.”
We are looking at putting Barron in Congress after we just rid ourselves of Cynthia McKinney?
If he gets elected, I just hope he wears his Dr. Evil gear in Congress.

( Source - Metro)

Payback is a Mother
Inmate Wants To Run The Asylum
NY Dem: Castro Better Leader Than Bush
NYC Pol Moves To Block Military Recruiters

Sunday, August 27, 2006

I'm Back

After a week of vacation in the wonderful Northeast, I have made one observation:

It must suck being a Boston Red Sox fan...watching the New York Yankees win 5 games in a row.

You would think that haing to read the Boston papers whine and moan about the sweep the entire week I was on vacation would get old. It didn't. It only made wearing my Yankees baseball cap around New Hampshire (Red Sox nation), all that much sweeter.

Friday, August 18, 2006

Week-long Caption Contest

I chilled with Castro and all I got was this lousy Caption Contest
(Source - Reuters)

Top Entries
10. Fidel shows Hugo & the world the object that caused his intestinal blockage. - Renee
9. Fresh off the massive success of the electric Rice Cookers; Fidel (and Hugo) proudly shows off the next piece of modern technology for the Cuban home. Castro stated "Watch out for that High setting or this will happen to you!" - Troll
8. FIDEL: Okay Hugo, I want to be the pitcher this time. - Remulak MoxArgon
7. Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass,I like having a detachable penis - Mr. Right
6. Castro hands over to Chavez what he's been giving the Cuban people for the last several decades. - jimmyB
5. "This Is The Only Missle We Have Left." - radio free fred
4. Castro: "Hey Hugo, I've got wood!" - Wyatt Earp
3. “Khrushchev shoved this up my ass in ‘64. I’ve never again drank vodka” - GrimJack
2. Fidel was hoping for an enema but all Hugo gave him was the shaft. - jwookie
1. "Bill Clinton is gonna want this back you know, Fidel..." - Damian G

Previous Contests
Your Nutroots are Showing
Dear Helen Caption Contest
Drunk and Drunker
No Cure for Ted
Future Democrat
Time to make the Caption Contest
Nice Ass

Caption Contest Classic (8/26/05)
Not Another Hillary Caption Contest!

It's Tea Time in Tehran

BEIRUT, Lebanon (CNN) -- A video showing Lebanese soldiers cordially offering Israeli troops glasses of tea during the military offensive earlier this month has hit Israeli and Hezbollah airwaves.

TEL AVIV, Israel (NY Sun) — In the least friendly fire imaginable, Israeli soldiers in southern Lebanon encountered Hezbollah wearing Israel Defense Force uniforms, the Jewish state's leading investigative news program reported.
Hezbollah just wanted some free tea - that's all. Instead of sending cruise missiles to Beruit, Iran should be sending boxes of English Breakfast or Earl Grey, possibly some chamomile tea if they are having troubles sleeping.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Scary Drudge Headline of the Day

Dems Talk of Stripping Lieberman...

Via drudge

GOP and the City Turns 2

August 17, 2004 - GOP and the City was born.
August 17, 2005 - GOP and the City turns 1
March 3, 2006 - First Instalanche
December 5, 2005 - Blogs4Bauer Launch (Instalanches to date - 2)
November 28, 2005 - 100,000th hit
June 21, 2006 - 200,000th hit

Image Hosted by

GOP and the City is Two

World Reacts to News!

The Man: "Let Them Eat Cake" as Beruit Burns

Letter to Editor: Bush, Brits, and Ned Lamont

Picking on Letters to the Editor of AMNY has been a hobby of mine for the past 2 years. It is almost too easy, sort of like getting someone to laugh at a picture of a couple of midgets playing basketball. For those of you not living in the New York area, AMNY is a free newspaper put out by Newsday, which should pay people to read their paper, which to some extent - they have.

"Free Newspapers" you say?

It is not all that it cracks up to be, ask anyone. First of all, Metro and AMNY's free papers find their way onto the subway tracks and cause fires. They can also be found all over the stations, on the street, and in trashcans. Second of all - they all suck. You get what you pay for with both Metro and AMNY.

From today's paper, I found a gem of a letter written by the typical tin foil hat wearing AMNY reader (not named Herb Stark). E.L. Corey from the Bronx declares that Bush (ie - Karl Rove) had the Brits arrest the 24 terror suspects last week to "blunt Lamont's victory over Lieberman". With no help from whitey, cops, Jeeewwwssss, voting machines, crossover voters, and corporate media - Bush managed to steal Lamont's thunder and get a Democratic Senator ahead in the polls? I told you he was a uniter and not a divider.

I think E.L. needs to put down the blunts. Also, he suggests that the arrests are phooey (not his exact words). You can click on the image above to view it in larger, paranoid detail.

Previously on AMNY
Fun With AM NY
Marilyn Briskin is Just Crazy
Letter to Editor: Cuba is Swell
Letter to Editor: Wild, Wild West
Letter To the Editor: Herb Stark
Letter to the Editor
AM NY Webpoll: Raising Tax Cuts
AM NY Webpoll: Should Rangel Retire
AM NY Webpoll: Close Gitmo
Remembering 9/11 Newsday-style
Weekend in the City
Media Turning on Sheehan?

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Stephanie Studebaker: Fighting For/With You!

Update: Someone has hacked the calendar on her site. Click on the photo for a larger view.

Update 2: Nevermind, anyone can add an event (even an event for licking Howard Dean's balls) to the calendar. Worst political website add-on ever.

Democratic Congressional Candidate Stephanie Studebaker dropped out of her race in Ohio's 3rd District a day after she was charged (along with her husband) with domestic violence.

Ironically, Studebaker's motto was "Fighting for our Future". Check out her site here, she has the word "fight" 4 times in her sidebar menu.

Stephanie Studebaker: Fighting For/With You!

Cynthia McKinney Blames Midgets for Primary Loss

Cynthia McKinney's Perpetual Whine & Government Cheese Party continued this week. McKinney got beat like a rented mule and refuses to go away without shaming every one of the 42% that were dumb enough to vote for her.

Fresh off of blaming whitey, cops, and Jeeewwwssss - McKinney's rage is now focused on electronic voting machines. McKinney thinks the electronic machines are bad. Unlike her positions and statements over the years which were awesome?

The picture to the left is of Cameron Mouton, 6 who was able to vote on an electronic voting screen in Florida for the Weekly Reader's Presidential Poll in 2004. The WR Poll selected Bush, McKinney claimed that Karl Rove and Diebold conspired to rig the Weekly Reader's Poll.

So we have whitey, cops, Jeeewwwssss, and voting machines. Next, McKinney blamed "crossover voting". Whitey, cops, Jeeewwwssss, voting machines, and crossover voters were not the last to get the blame.

"What I have learned from the corporate media is that they are there to protect the status quo. They are there to protect the powers that be, and anyone who becomes a threat in any kind of way by providing information that will go directly to the survival of the community, to the uplifting of the people, will become an enemy." - Cynthia McKinney
If you are keeping track at home, the reason Cynthia McKinney lost her primary is (in no particular order): whitey, cops, Jeeewwwssss, voting machines, crossover voters, and corporate media.

What about midgets? There has to be some blame to lay on midgets for Cynthia McKinney's loss. Espically those white Jeeeewwwwish Republican midgets who work in corporate media, are members of the FOP, and voted for her opponent on electronic voting machines.

Cynthia McKinney is to "Class" as Fidel Castro is to "Alive"
Karl Rove Slept Well Last Night

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

It's All About Bush

This comes from the last paragraph of yesterday's gossip column by NY Post's Cindy Adams. You can see for yourself here.

"Hoping to kill 3,000 people at one shot? Wouldn't that have been lucky for Bush?" - Anon Anti-War Dem. Everything has to be about Bush, all the time.

I guess the next step would have the great minds of the left like Charlie Sheen and the lead singer of Blink-182 inform us that Bush was planting controlled explosions to bring down these airplanes so the planes crash into the levees outside of New Orleans.

Elvis could not be reached for comment.

(Hat tip - Kitty)

Monday, August 14, 2006

Yet Another 101 Uses for Castro's Corpse

If the world needed more proof that Castro is really...really dead, the Cuban government provided it in a series of photos with his corpse posed like a prop.

Along with failing to prove that Castro is still breathing, they provided even more material for the series of uses for the dead dictator's corpse. Like a case of Mad Dog 20/20, this is truly the gift that keep's on giving.

Shout-out to the Commies in charge in Cuba, keep it cool (Castro's corpse that is). Until next week, here are more uses for a rotting Castro.

#4 - The new face of KFC
#20 - 'Maritial Aid' for Steven Spielberg. (VtheK)
#22 - Elvis Fan
#34 - Dictator Porn

#40 - As a replacement for a cement parking block. (jimmyb)
#55 - Jack Bauer’s personal toilet seat. (Tyler D)
#63 - Con Ed spokesperson
#64 - Howard Dean's replacement at the DNC
#65 - Joe Lieberman's replacement as Senator from CT
#72 - Strip his skin and use it to roll special collector's edition cigars to announce the removal of the U.S. sanctions on Cuba.
#73 - Prop in the next Che Guevara puff-piece BioPic. (RFTR)
#80 - The donor for Dr. House's replacement leg
#98 - "Whassup" Commercial Actor

Do you have additional options for Castro's corpse? Post them in the comments section below. I may use them for Still Yet Another 101 Uses for Castro's Corpse next week

101 More Uses for Castro's Corpse
101 Uses for Castro's Corpse
Where in the World is Fidel?
NY Dem: Castro Better Leader Than Bush

Friday, August 11, 2006

Weekend Caption Contest

Your Nutroots are Showing Caption Contest
(Source - Al Reuters)

Top Entries
10. "My kung-Jew is stronger than your Jew-jitsu!"- Mac
9. Ned Lamont was Kung Fu Fightin'! - fmragtops
8. Lamont, with a little help from the person to his back-left, demonstrates that the only way to block an eye-poke is with the vaunted shark fin defense - Mac

- The Man

6. All your moonbats are belong to us!!! - jimmyb
5. Ned Lamont calls out opponent Jack Bauer. (Moments later, we learn that Bauer is now unopposed.) - Wyatt Earp
4. "Ask not what I can do for you. Ask what I can do to further my political ambitions!" - Pam
3. "I can defeat Lieberman with one peace-sign behind my back!" - Damian G.
2. Ned Lame-ont shows his party's new weapon against terrorist, the UN inspired "Really Strong Hand-Gesture". - jimmyb
1. LAMONT: You'd have this look on your face too, if Kos had his hand up your ass! - Remulak MoxArgon

Photoshop Entries
- Cowboy Blob

- Cowboy Blob

- The Man

Previous Contests
Dear Helen Caption Contest
Drunk and Drunker
No Cure for Ted
Future Democrat
Time to make the Caption Contest
Nice Ass

Caption Contest Classic (8/19/05)
Pootie Caption Contest

Add the OBEY Al Gore logo to your website.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Yankee Jumper's Wings Clipped

Scott Harper had better subscribe to a cable service that offers The YES Network if he wants to catch a Yankee game in the future.

"You are permanently barred from entering the Stadium,"
Harper (aka The Yankee Jumper) was barred from Yankee Stadium and even a future Yankee Stadium by a judge at the Bronx Supreme Court.

A year ago today, Scott Harper drunkenly decided to test the netting above home plate at Yankee Stadium by jumping from the upper deck. After a few beers, Harper told his friends that he wanted to see "whether the net would hold his weight". The net held, Harper got arrested.

Over the past year, I've given Harper and his dumbass friends hell. I still wish Harper well in his drug-rehab stint, his supporters tell me that he's "intelligetn" - so he should try and use his brain every now-and-then.

When I attend ConEd Keychain Light Night at Yankee Stadium in September, it'll be nice to know that Harper is watching the game from the safety of his Armonk home and not flying off the upper deck.

(Source - NY Post)

Sterilize Scott Harper Now
Stop Scott Harper
Scott Harper is Still an Idiot
Scott Harper, your friends are stoopid
Scott Harper in Drug Rehab: Never Saw That Coming

Terror Alert Raised

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Join Team Bauer

Jack Bauer is prepared to bend the rules in order to save America, again.

Blogs4Bauer is proud to be the exclusive home of Bauer2006. Jack Bauer is running and Bauer06 is the "netroots" effort to elect him to represent Connecticut and New York in the US Senate. That's right both Connecticut and New York as a write-in candidate for Senate. Did I stutter?

Check out Blogs4Bauer for more information.

Add a Bauer2006 logo to your website.

Cynthia McKinney is to "Class" as Fidel Castro is to "Alive"

FORMER congresswoman and perpetual moron Cynthia McKinney was classy in her defeat. Her team blamed the media, voting machines, whites, and Republicans. Aliens, Elvis, and a squirrel with big nuts were also mentioned by Team McKinney as co-conspirators to her defeat.

Cynthia McKinney blamed the media and electronic voting machines for her defeat. Her campaign manager blamed white voters and Republicans who crossed over to vote in her Democratic runoff. (AP)
After playing The Blame Game, McKinney's team then started beating reporters. They first knocked a camera out of the hand of a cameraman. Later, a news team called 9-1-1 after the Cynthia's goons followed the reporters out to a news van.


Update: AJC notes that we should add "police harassment", “insecure” voting equipment, and mysterious incorrect ballots to McKinney's Whine and Cheese list.

Karl Rove Slept Well Last Night

Karl Rove kept Tropical Storm Chris from turning into a hurricane so that voters would go out and do his wishing. Like clockwork, Karl was called into action, once again by the Republican Party to do his dirty deeds. One day he hopes that the GOP can go and win races on their own, but for now he will have to get it done.

Late Tuesday, Rove packed away his weather generator, opened a nice Chianti, and checked MSNBC (yes he watches MSNBC) to watch the results of his latest ploy unfold.

First to fall was Cynthia McKinney, an idiot by all measures. Rove hardly needed to lift a finger in this race; she seemed to do all the work. McKinney will now spend her days in a tin foil hat, eating oatmeal, and mumbling about how George W. Bush disenfranchised her favorite McDonalds in Atlanta. Karl Rove saw this and was pleased.

Ah, but Karl Rove's real attention and weather generation activities were focused on The Nutmeg State. The Northeast had seen the second hottest month in history, sweltering heat and humidity. But yesterday, Rove needed Connecticut's left-wing to get out from behind their computers and vote. Therefore, Rove generated the perfect day for voting, 80 degrees with a slight breeze and plenty of sunshine.

It worked and the Lamont voters emerged from under their rocks to vote for a novice gazillionaire executive one-issue candidate to become the new face of the same old self-destructive Democratic Party. Karl Rove saw this and was pleased.

Last night, Karl Rove watched Ned Lamont's victory speech flanked by 1980's liberal retreads Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson. He turned off the news, kissed his Reagan teddy bear, and dreamed of November.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Tort Reform Tueday

A judge has thrown out a lawsuit against the city of New York filed by Antoine Yates who claims police did not have a search warrant when they raided his apartment. Mr. Yates is lucky to be alive to file this silly claim, since he was mauled by his 450-pound pet Siberian tiger named Ming prior to the police raid.

While in his Harlem apartment (without a search warrant), police found the tiger and a 6-foot long alligator named Al.

Police determined that the situation was an emergency because there was a large tiger that had recently mauled a man roaming around inside an apartment, the judge said.
Ming is now living in an animal refuge in Ohio. Yates served 3 1/2 months in jail. Al is now a pair of boots.

(Source - 1010 Wins)

Good Luck Joe

UPDATE: Joe Lieberman's campaign website Joe2006 is down (as of 10:45am).
Update (2pm): Joe2006 is still down.

Lieberman: Lamont's people did it
Lamont: It's just another scurrilous charge
Lieberman campaign manager Sean Smith: It is a deliberate attempt to disenfranchise voters
This marks the first time a democrat has accused a non-republican of disenfranchisement.

Monday, August 07, 2006

101 More Uses for Castro's Corpse

Fidel Castro has to be dead. How do I know? Well, the man is a bigger media whore than Charles Schumer (D-NY). Both men would have to be dead before they let a news camera pass them by. Fidel's absence from the news puts "a dagger in the heart" of the tens of people who have held out hope for his recovery.

Last week I put out 101 Uses for Castro's Corpse. This week we post even more uses for the Commie Cuban's Corpse, many provided from commenters from last week's post.

#10 Fruity Rum Drink cup (Cowboy Blob)
#15 - Pincushion
#24 - Al Gore stand in (TylerD)
#25 - Lawn dart target (TylerD)
#30 - Cindy Sheehan chew-toy? (Buckley F. Williams)
#34 - Doctored Reuters Photograph Filler
40 - ABC's replacement for Star Jones on The View (Renee)
#45 - Stuff his body and send him up in the next space shuttle. Call him a Castronaut (tratch)
#50 - Communist Garden Gnome
#65 - Microsoft Office Assistant
#70 - Porn Movie Prop

#75 - Contestant on Flavor of Love
#80 - US Democratic voter (jimmyB)
#93 - Lawn ornament for the Kennedy compound (lawhawk)
#98 - TWU Union Member

Do you have additional options for Castro's corpse? Post them in the comments section below. I may use them for Yet Another 101 Uses for Castro's Corpse next week.

101 Uses for Castro's Corpse
Where in the World is Fidel?
NY Dem: Castro Better Leader Than Bush

Friday, August 04, 2006

Weekend Caption Contest

Dear Helen Caption Contest
(Source - Reuters)

Top Entries
10. Bush: Can't...let...go. What is this stuff on your hand?Thomas: Pine pitch. I've started the mummification process. - Pam
9. - Cowboy Blob
8. President Geroge W. Bush shakes Helen Thomas' hand in a gesture of goodwill. Unfortunately Mr. Bush was turned to stone when he fell under the gaze of Ms. Thomas, The Queen Of The Gargoyles. - fmragtops
7. "Cripes, Helen - You reek of death!" - Wyatt Earp
6. "Nice to meet ya Mr. Dangerfield. I thought you were dead." - Rodney Dill
5. Helen: I can smile, because I'm the one who laid a stinky... -lawhawk
4. Helen, we've got a brand new office for you at the Shady Acres office building. There will be nice men there to wait on you. They even have complimentary jackets with nice leather straps and long sleeves. Your personal assistant is a lady by the name of Ratchet. Laura thinks you'll love it! - rt
3. As President Bush shakes Helen Thomas' hand, she slips him her hotel key card and gives him a wink! -Sssteve
2. Due to his intense CIA training, thanks to his dad, and Haliburton, Bush is able to give Helen Thomas the "Five-Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique" merely by shaking her hand.(That's why he's smiling...) - jimmyb
1. - Cowboy Blob

President Bush decided to take a souvenir from the last press conference held at the White House Press Room. Helen Thomas' left hand.
-The Man

- Cowboy Blob

- Cowboy Blob

Previous Contests
Drunk and Drunker
No Cure for Ted
Future Democrat
Time to make the Caption Contest
Nice Ass
Man With a Plan

Caption Contest Classic (8/12/05)
Back to School Caption Contest

Add the OBEY Al Gore logo to your website.