Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Dumb Criminals Part 8

Robert Louis Saine, Jr. started out yesterday as a free man. As a new day started, he found himself in a wrecked, stolen 2000 Cadillac parked a house.

Saine was wanted for felony probation violation. Late yesterday he decided to steal a car around 11:45pm. He also had a revoked license.
Felony Probation Violation
Vehicle Theft
Driving on a Revoked License

Around 12:15am, Saine was spotted by police driving without headlights.
Reckless Driving

Metro Police gave chase and 3 (that's "three") minutes later it ended when Saine made a poor left hand turn and drove into a house. Like Derek Zoolander, he could not turn left.
Evading Arrest
Leaving the Scene of a Property Damage Accident

Police found cocaine, pot, and drug paraphernalia on Saine. No word if there was also a dead hooker in the trunk.
Misdemeanor Marijuana Possession
Misdemeanor Cocaine Possession
Possession of Drug Paraphernalia

For Robert Louis Saine, Jr. - Thursday turned out to be a very, very bad day.

Wyatt - did I miss any charges?

(Source - Tennessean)
Dumb Criminals Part 1
Dumb Criminals Part 2
Dumb Criminals Part 3
Dumb Criminals Part 4
Dumb Criminals Part 5
Dumb Criminals Part 6
Dumb Criminals Part 7

Photo Evidence: Patrick Kennedy Present at Oswald Shooting, In Black-face...

Yesterday, we found evidence of a media conspiracy to cover-up Harry Reid taking Patrick Kennedy to free boxing matches dressed in black-face. Today we uncover something far more sinister than just influence peddling.

Thanks to the University of Texas for uncovering never-before photos of Patrick Kennedy (D-RI) at the murder of Lee Harvey Oswald, in black-face. While I'm not one for conspiracy theories, notice that it looks as if Patrick is giving the "thumbs up" sign to Jack Ruby.

Tomorrow: Patrick Kennedy and Jack Bauer.

Media Silence: Sen. Reid Also Took Patrick Kennedy To Boxing Matches
Patrick Kennedy Goes Black-face Caption Contest
Patrick Kennedy: Soul Man
The Kennedy's Muck Up The Jack Bauer Kill Counter
Stop me if you have heard this one before...

Jones Beach Air Show: Part 2

Every time I go to an air show and see an F-16 (left), I can't help but think of that great 1986 classic, Iron Eagle (right). I wonder if the pilots ever joke around and call each other "Chappy". Did you know they made Iron Eagle 2, 3, and 4? What a shame, Chappy (Louis Gossett Jr.) was in each one of them.

Back to the Air Show. Besides The Blue Angels, there was also an F-15, some WWII aircraft, The Red Baron Stunt Team, an F-16, an A-10, the US Army Parachute team, and a mock sea rescue by the NY National Guard. Check out these pictures and then look at the videos below.

Click Here for an A-10 waving to the crowd.
Click Here for a bizarre formation of aircraft.
Click Here for an F-15 kicking on the after-burners.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Media Silence: Sen. Reid Also Took Patrick Kennedy To Boxing Matches

Much has been made over Senator Reid (D-NV) and his accusations on Republican ethics while accepting free tickets to boxing matches from Nevada boxing officials.

What the media is not reporting are the free tickets he accepted and shared with Rep. Patrick Kennedy (D-RI), who showed up to the boxing match in black-face. Now if John McCain had done the same - the media would be in an uproar. Jesse Jackson had no comment. Is this another case of a Kennedy given a free pass? You will have to be the judge.

Note: I will be getting plenty of mileage out of the Patrick Kennedy Black-face images. Stay tuned.
Patrick Kennedy Goes Black-face Caption Contest
Patrick Kennedy: Soul Man
The Kennedy's Muck Up The Jack Bauer Kill Counter
Stop me if you have heard this one before...

Chinese Prepare for Bauer's Arrival

With Jack Bauer heading for Mainland China, the billions of citizens in his path have prepared for what looks like an unfair fight. Something must be done to even the playing field with Bauer.

Enter the 3-armed baby born on Tuesday at Shanghai Children's Medical Center. "Jie-jie", which translated means "Little 3-Armed Chinese Jack Bauer-Killer", is expected to start training for his upcoming mission (killing Jack Bauer) in a matter of weeks.

"We hope 3-arm better than Jack's two" said General Wang Chung, the head of China's military wing in charge of combating Jack Bauer. "Why 3-arms? Because four would look weird." said Chung.

Asian people and their cities have not been in this much danger since the days Godzilla. The Chinese are not going to wait until Jack Bauer starts torching Beijing to act. With Jie and his 3 appendages, they can even the odds that are already starting to stack against them. But, is it too little too late? Will Jack Bauer pull another arm out of his manpurse? What does that guy from Mortal Combat think about this?

Season 6: January 2007

Jones Beach Air Show: Part 1

Here are some photos of The Navy's Blue Angels performing at the 2006 Jones Beach Air Show. To say they were amazing would be an understatement. Even Marilyn Briskin could appreciate the sight of 4 F-18s flying in a formation where the wingtips are only 18 inches apart.

Click Here for a short video of the Blue Angels doing a crazy stunt.
Click Here for a video of the Blue Angels flying in a strange formation.
Click Here for a short clip of the Blue Angels flying within 18 inches of each other.

I will post a Part 2 of the Air show with more video clips and pictures of the rest of the air show.

Friday, May 26, 2006

Weekend Caption Contest II

Just Beat It Caption Contest
Due to the delivery of images of Patrick Kennedy going Blackface to a party. I've started a second Weekend Caption Contest.
(hat tip - Shrugging Atlas)

Top Entries
5. Finally, a definitive answer to the question "What's more sickening, a Kennedy or a child-molester?" - Mac
4. In a classic liberal move, Patrick manages to offend blacks, whites, gays, and child-molesters in one fell swoop. - jimmyb
3. Patrick Kennedy believed that he, too, would be found "innocent" if he only adopted the right "look." - maggie
2. "Oh, I'm drunk all right. Drunk with the love of little children." - Wyatt Earp
1. After successfully completing the driving portion of the "Do You Have What It Takes To Be A Kennedy" examination, Patrick Kennedy readies himself for the always dicey "minority relations" section. - Buckley F. Williams

Weekend Caption Contest I

Weekend Caption Contest

Culture of Corruption Caption Contest
(Source - AP)

Top Entries
10. At least I didn't leave 1,000 buses sitting around the flood, like that do nothing Nagin. I would have used at least one of them for rescuing crucial information from my residence. But, since that wasn't possible, I had the National Guard help me instead. - Lawhawk
9. Jefferson (D-La): Where da white women at?! - fmragtops
8. Show me the money I supposedly took. You think if I took money that I'd be stupid enough to put it in my freezer? What do you honkies think I am, some crack ho? - PCD
7. "Money Is Only Paper, What's The Big Deal?" - radio free fred
6. "Crime? Here's the real crime... the theft of 10 G's outa my feehza and 3 Morton's Fish Sticks." - Troll
5. "I'd like to dedicate this building to one of the all-time great third basemen, former Red Sox and Yankees great Hale Boggs!" - Mac
4. Reaching in his pocket, Jefferson realized he never got his now needed "race card" back from Cynthia McKinney. - jimmyb
3. No, they did not say they found cold cash in my freezer. They said cold hash, as in hash browns. I am innocent, this is all a big misunderstanding. - BC
2. "I did not have sexual relations with that woman..." Oh wait wrong William Jefferson... - jwookie
1. "If I am guilty, may I be crushed by a huge white sign."(Off-camera) "LOOK OUT!!!" - Wyatt Earp

Photoshop Entries

-The Man

Previous Contests
We "Sí" You Caption Contest
Hillary Caption Contest Part 142
All In The Family
Here's Looking at Hill
All your borders are belong to us

Caption Contest Classic (4/8/05)
Just one Contest

Marilyn Briskin is Just Crazy

It's been awhile since I picked on AM NY's Letters to the Editor. However, one in today's paper had me rolling in the aisles of the E train...which is gross since it was ranked one of the dirtiest lines in the system.

This week is Fleet Week in NYC and it looks like someone does not like the public display's of affection towards our men and women in uniform. Especially the loud ones. Behold, the only woman in New York who's not glad that it's Fleet Week - Marilyn Briskin.

I did a little research and found a picture of Marilyn Briskin of Manhattan. Here is a picture of this old granny out at a local eating establishment. Ms. Briskin, step back from the Kool-Aid, pull the log out of your bum, and get a life.

On a lighter note, I'll be taking pictures of the loud Blue Angels at the Jones Beach Air Show on Sunday, I hope to have them posted on Monday. Click Here to check out The USAF Thunderbirds from last year's show. Click Here for other shot's from last year's air show.

Update: Briskin is a crabby old lady. Check out this letter, titled "It drives me crazy", sent a few weeks ago. She complains that little children and their nannies occupy the front seats of her precious bus. Maybe she's just a crazy old lady.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

My Name Is Jack

"You know the kind of guy who does nothing but bad things and then wonders why his whole life sucks? Well, that used to be me. Every time something good happened to me...

something bad was waiting right around the corner...

Karma. That's when I realized that I had to change, so I made a list of everything bad I ever did and one by one I'm gonna make up for all my mistakes. I'm just trying to be a better person. My Name is Jack."

View and add to Jack's list at Blogs4Bauer

(Hat tip - VtheK)

Lost in 24

Are the producers of 24 trying to turn us into whisper-hearing Lost freaks?

From Wednesday's NY post:

On a scrap of paper - seen so briefly on TV it could only be read by eagle-eyed viewers who had posted the screen on the Internet - a seemingly random group of letters spells out "Jack is dead."

Update: I have zoomed in on the picture and decoded the message

The Llama Butchers have their own "Jack Is Dead" theories.
Got a post about 24?
You still have time to submit it for The Carnival of Bauer!!!

Blog Carnival submission form - carnival of bauer!!!

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Hillary for President Rally Draws Tens...

Selecting Nashville, Tennessee to host the national kickoff of a website promoting Hillary Clinton for president ranks up there with other Democratic follies like: Dukakis in 1992, Kerry/Edwards in 2004, and the TV show Commander in Chief in 2005.

The national kickoff for was held in Nashville yesterday with lots of nationwide media hype leading in and barely a whimper going out. The group had hoped to draw over 200 supporters in a showing that Democrats (even Hillary) could win in the South.

"The whole point is to go where we're not expected" - Bob Kunst (5/4)

The national kickoff rally drew 20 people and 2 Anti-Hillary protestors.

"Out of small things come very large things" - Bob Kunst (5/23)

Let's just hope that John McCain doesn't choose to launch his 2008 run on the campus of The New School in New York.

Other Links
(Source - Tennessean)
Video of the event here (warning: first 15 seconds is a clip of Hillary speaking in Washington)

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Hide Your Daughter...Fleet Week Starts Tomorrow

New York's annual Fleet Week starts up tomorrow and runs through May 30th. This week happens to be every New York woman's (and some men's) favorite week of the year. Fashion week doesn't even come close.

This is also the week, where every single guy in New York goes into hibernation because chicks dig uniforms.

Personally, a friend of mine and I had an idea to buy some surplus Navy gear and hit the bars telling ladies that we were in town for Fleet Week. We never did, but Jesse MacBeth showed that impersonating a service member is a really, really dumb idea.

Fleet Week Links
Schedule of events

NJ Gets Dirty

TRENTON (AP) -- New Jersey, long infamous for down and dirty politics, is moving to make some dirt official.
The Assembly on Monday is slated to vote on legislation that would make Downer soil the official state soil.
There is a story that was passed around in Tennessee, that spread when Nashville was in the running to get the New Jersey Devils Hockey team (imagine the "devils" going to the heart of the Bible belt). A sports writer for The Tennessean visited New Jersey and after driving around he noticed the state tree should be a telephone pole, the Jersey drivers showed him the state bird.

Last year, a bill designating the Tomato as the state vegetable failed. Tomatoes are fruit. Plus, I thought New Jersey already had an official vegetable.

(Source - Courier Post)

Monday, May 22, 2006

This is for all those people who still have Kerry/Edwards bumper stickers on their cars...

John Kerry (D-MA), along with many Democratic and Republican Senators, voted in favor of a 370 mile fence on the US-Mexican border. Kerry explained his vote at New England Council breakfast on Friday and managed to "straddle the fence" on the whole issue. Here is the immigration debate, Kerry-style.

John Kerry for the fence
"I voted for it because, first of all, a lot of it is the repair of the existing fence. A lot of it is just in the Arizona area, where we have the worst problem, the most numbers of people coming over."

John Kerry against the fence
"If I were making the long-term decision, I’d announce, you know, hopefully it’s a temporary measure, and we can take it down as soon as we have enough people, and we’ve established a process where we’ve reduced the level."
To be clear: John Kerry is for the fence, but against it. So he's literally on the fence on the fence. Leadership.

(hat tip - RFTR)

An Inconvenient Walk

Via Drudge

BURN: Gore & entourage took 5 cars to travel the 500 yards from hotel to screening of global warming pic in Cannes...
Should be interesting if this plays out. But I wouldn't put any money on it.

See Jack Die?

Tonight! 2 hour 24 season finale!
Watch it on Fox, post about it on Blogs4Bauer...It's like instant replay, but not really.

Friday, May 19, 2006

Weekend Caption Contest

We "Sí" You Caption Contest
(Source - Reuters)

Top Entries
10. As President Bush was listening to how illegal aliens get across our border, VP Cheney was sitting in his wire chair reading GOP and City's blog - Sssteve
(editors note: a better immigration policy would be to sit Cheney out on the border with an unloaded shotgun, his presence alone will deter many border crossers)
9. No, Mr. President, Jack Bauer is not on our payroll. You need to talk to Rupert about that. - Lawhawk
8. "An On Slow Days Mr. President We Set Bags Of Tacos Along The Border To Bait Them." - radio free fred
7. OK Bob, why don't you pull up the slides I took of me and the wife's trip to Albequerque for the president. Mr. President this is me and my wife in the middle of the desert... with a cactus... ooh an indian teepee. No sir feathers, not dot. - jwookie
6. President Bush makes the rounds on a tour of Bill Gates' island of genetically engineered dinosaurs, who are coming over our borders to eat the people Americans won't eat. - Mac
5. The commander wisely distracts President Bush as he fans away his Taco dinner. - Wyatt Earp
4. Bush: You do realize I require all these TVs tuned to Fox News for the remainder of my stay. - fmragtops
3. BORDER PATROL DUDE: "And over here we have people coming out the shadows, immigrants doing the jobs Americans won't do and oppressed peoples in search of the American dream."
BUSH: "But do you have pie?" - Damian G
2. It's hard to believe that only 7 short years ago, every single one of these TVs was turned to Tijuana porno stations, per then-President Clinton's executive order 69469-24-7. - Mac
1. "I Would Show You More Mr. President But We Can't Find The Remote." - radio free fred

Photoshop Entries
Well Mr. President, so far Jack Bauer hasn't taken out Logan, Wentworth Miller escaped, Elliot was voted off, Hurley's fat, and the border's clear. Oh, and Bob's monitoring Blogs4Bauer 24/7 on his computer for new pictures of Kim Bauer.
Bush: Keep up the good work.
-The Man

Previous Contests
Hillary Caption Contest Part 142
All In The Family
Here's Looking at Hill
Bush's Banana Hammock
All your borders are belong to us

Caption Contest Classic (5/13/05)
Dark Side Caption Contest

Harry Reid Borrows McKinney's Race Card

Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid (D - NV) called a proposal to make English the official language "racist" on the Senate floor yesterday.
"This amendment is racist. I think it's directed basically to people who speak Spanish," the Democrat said during the already tense debate over immigration reform. -
Washington Times

Tell me Mr. Reid, how is the proposal (and idea which is supported by 77% of Hispanics) racist? There is not a race of people who define their race as "people who speak Spanish".

Harry Reid basically called the sponsor of the bill - Sen. James M. Inhofe, a racist. A point which an aide made clear in a note handed to the Nevada Democrat. At which point, he backtracked from his statement calling his co-worker a racist for offering a amendment which 84% of Americans agree with.

Should English be our official language? Yes. Does that mean Spanish, Italian, Swahili, and other language speaking people will be discriminated against? No. Is Reid an idiot? Sí.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Can You Shoot Me Know?

The NYPD issued a warning on some cell phones that come with some very dangerous features.

The phones are actually a .22 caliber handgun. And you thought Jack Bauer's cell phone was dangerous?

Click Here for video of these guns in action.
(Source - 1010 Wins)

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Dumb Criminals Part 7

Two men tried to break into a branch of the Independence Community Bank in Jackson Heights Queens on Monday. The plan was to cut a hole in the roof of the bank - above the vault. They would then sneak in and take the booty. In the end the men were left with a bad plan, poor execution, and an even worse getaway.

It appears the duo tried to rob the same bank in the same manner in March - but they had cut a hole over the staff kitchen instead of the vault. So the bank installed a silent alarm, which notified the police of the second break in.

Police arrived and spotted Louis Spano, 45 on the roof of the bank with a black bag. He fled and his accomplice Fred Piro, 41 emerged from the hole in the roof. Both men were apprehended after Spano's sweater got stuck on a fence. Inside the black bag, police found hammers, an electric saw, ropes, a walkie-talkie, and kneepads used in the attempted heist.

Now here is why being a defense lawyer would be impossible for me.

Outside Brooklyn federal court, Mr. Spano's lawyer, Charles Emma, said his client was in the vicinity of the bank last night but innocent of attempted burglary. Asked what his client was doing in the area, Mr. Emma said he didn't know.
How does he say that and not just start cracking up?

(Source - NY Sun)

Dumb Criminals Part 1
Dumb Criminals Part 2
Dumb Criminals Part 3
Dumb Criminals Part 4
Dumb Criminals Part 5
Dumb Criminals Part 6

Headline of the Day

Planned nudist resort crosses first hurdle

Really a visual I could have done without.

The paper also has the runner up:

Man sues, says peanuts contained a rodent tooth

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Meanwhile in Nashville....

A Nashville resident identified as Kathryn Potter filed the lawsuit on Monday, seeking monetary damages and any profits that BellSouth may have made from its dealings with the NSA. Published reports in USA Today have said telecommunications giants BellSouth, AT&T and Verizon Communications Inc. cooperated with an NSA request to turn over millions of customers’ phone records after the Sept. 11, 2001, terror attacks...

Moonbats and Lawyers - what a lethal combination.

Potter will be represented by the law firm of Osama & Al-Zarqawi.

(Source - Tennessean)

Zoo Fight Club

The first rule of Zoo Fight Club is...

AMSTERDAM, Netherlands (AP) -- Bears killed and devoured a monkey in front of horrified visitors at a Dutch zoo, officials and witnesses said.

Yes...the monkey got spanked.

(Source - CNN)

Breaking News: The Zoo has released the rights to the bear attack to a book publishing company. I have been sent exclusive photos of the proposed book's cover! It appears that George was curious for the last time. How sad.

Take Action!
Send the book company an email by clicking here. Tell them to stop exploiting monkeys!

Ask The 24 Maharishi

The 24 Maharishi's quest is to answer your 24 questions. Want to know how Chloe knows all those phone numbers? Just ask the 24 Maharishi.

Q: Maharishi, how will Jack stop the submarine?
A: Ahh Jack will save the day again. How he saves the day remains to be seen by the prophets and screenwriters. My crystal ball tells me that another plot will be recycled, yes but not from a few hours this comes from Season 2. Does the name George Mason ring a bell?

Q: Are you suggesting that Jack Bauer will "pull a Mason" with the Russian Sub Natalia?
A: My crystal ball says so. But, while Mason died in his kamikaze flight over the Mojave Desert, Jack may still survive.

Q: So you suggest that Jack will pilot the Russian Sub Natalia to the Mohave Desert?
A: Subs don't fly, unless Kristie Alley gets loose from the fat farm.

There you have it. Jack Bauer will board The Natalia, he will pilot the sub to the ocean, and he will then scuttle the ship. His escape is still in doubt, but knowing Jack Bauer - he will probably use the scuba gear in his man-purse to escape the sinking sub.

Got a question for the 24 Maharishi? Post them in the comments and he will answer them.


I noticed this picture in today's AM NY. Everyone say "Cheese"!

Here's what the photo will look like once it's developed.

Monday, May 15, 2006

And Now A Message From The President

You could be in for a surprise if you turn on the TV (and/or tune into Blogs4Bauer) tonight at 9pm. No, Wentworth Miller is not on the run from Jack Bauer and Hal Gardner was not killed by Lincoln Burrows. Would President Bush give a primetime speech during American Idol? Why then, would Bush's people let him give a speech during the Fox Power Hours?

President Jack Bauer would not do such a thing. He would secure the border, lower taxes, invade Iran, and stop off in France to kick some poodle-walking mimes - then hold a primetime press conference to bring us up-to-date. It would last 13 seconds, he would yell it, and it could replace an Apple ad during the second commercial break on 24.

"Fellow Americans. I have secured the border, lowered your taxes, invaded some muslim country, and destroyed France. There's no time for details."

Following President Jack Bauer's trip to the border, Guatemala would declare a state of emergency as 20,000,000 Mexican immigrants head south.

(Hat tip - V the K)

Friday, May 12, 2006

Weekend Caption Contest

Prevention Is The Key Caption Contest
(Source - Reuters)

Top Entries
10. No need for a caption. The photo speaks for itself. - my sister
9. "Whew!" "Bill's Panty Collection Needs A Good Washing!" - radio free fred
8. Prevent the murder of the unborn.Don't vote for this b**ch. - jimmyb
7. Instead of Bill, I coulda had a V8. - Deathlok
6. And just as she was about to announce her intentions of running for president, the republican, ninja, attack monkeys struck... - jwookie
5. Only YOU can prevent President Hillary. - Remulak MoxArgon
4. "Help Prevent Stupidity: Vote Republican" - Wyatt Earp
3. Opposition to Hillary is so rampant that even the media gives not so subtle hints...HAHA! Who am I trying to kid? - GOP and College
2. "If irony gets a condom on every teen boy's schlong, I'm fot it!"- Damian G
1. Planned Parenthood finally comes up with a new contraception campaign both sides can agree on. - Pam

Photoshop Entries

Hillary's pandering to the red states has gotten out-of-hand.
America just is not ready for a female president...from Arkansas.

-The Man

Previous Contests
All In The Family
Here's Looking at Hill
Akbar Strangelove
Bush's Banana Hammock
All your borders are belong to us

Caption Contest Classic (5/27/05)
Meet The Moron

Happy Father's Day

This story is for those of us who have become so cynical with our elected officials.

Assemblyman Richard Brodsky (D - Westchester) dropped out of the race for New York state attorney general. Not for political reasons, not because of a scandal. Sometimes there are just more important things in life.

Willie Brodsky is the 14-year old daughter of the Assemblyman. She needed a kidney as she was born with an autoimmune condition, causing her body to attack its kidneys. That is where dad stepped in, offering up one of his kidneys.

My hat's off to Richard Brodsky.

But politics knows no rest. Backers of Brodsky were soon contacted by the other candidates asking for their support. Politics as usual.

Other Links
NY Post
NY Daily News