Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Mayor Bloomberg: Ban Golf Umbrellas

Back in August, I wrote about a democratic candidate for mayor, Christopher X. Brodeur, who finished fourth in the Democratic primary. Afterwards, Christopher was arrested for making threats to journalist and blogger Ben Smith. He also made 1,300 "obscenity-laced and threatening" phone calls to Mayor Bloomberg.

On his website, Brodeur had "100 Innovations for NYC" including moving the Yankees to Jersey and changing bathroom doors so they open out, not in. One suggestion he had really made sense to me, especially on rainy days like today:

NO MORE UMBRELLAS!
At least in Manhattan, where we will mandate first that all new buildings have rain awnings all the way around. Then we’ll slowly make the rest adapt, so you can walk down the sidewalk without getting wet, except for the sprint across the street.

Or you can keep screwing around with umbrellas.
While I would not ban the entire universe of umbrellas, the ones I have a problem with are the huge golf umbrellas. These monsters are not needed in Manhattan, as I assume the people carrying them probably are not playing the back nine down Madison Avenue. The people using these "tarps on a pole" would do just fine with one of the $2 umbrellas from one of the many street vendors who seem to appear as the first drops of rain fall in the city.

While we are trying to minimize items that are way too large, lets not stop at umbrellas. The next thing I would ban are the massive subway maps. I have a subway map in my wallet that is the size of a credit card, yet the MTA continues to print maps larger than a...well larger than a golf umbrella.