Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Jack Bauer, Equal-opportunity Ass-kicker

After the first four hours of Season 5, I noticed something was missing. No, it was not the All-state commercials with President Palmer or Jack Bauer's hairline. We now have Hobbits in the Bill Buchanan's office and Jack Bauer's cell phone has almost as many kills as Jack, but what was missing was a disclaimer to start off the festivities of Season 5.

If you recall last season, CAIR (Council on American-Islamic Relations) forced Fox to run a disclaimer prior to 24, stating that it's just a TV show and muslims are our friends - even Berhooz. I called Fox out on this, going so far as to call Jack Bauer a sissy. I noted that if it were not for the fanatical muslims plotting terror in America, there would be nothing realistic about 24.

So we have a new season of bad guys for Jack to take out, with the help of Sam Gangee and Robocop. This time we have some sort of Russian breakaway republic sending us bad guys with bad accents and even worse hair. Where's the PSA stating that people with bad hair and Russian accents who come from rogue Russian republics are not all bad people? I need to know so I don't get in a cab and start giving my driver a wet-willie while calling him a terrorist who killed our first black president/spokesman for All-state, President Palmer.

I expect to see the following run prior to the next episode of 24:

"Hi. My name is Kiefer Sutherland. And I play counter-terrorist agent Jack Bauer on Fox's 24. I would like to take a moment to talk to you about something that I think is very important. Now while terrorism is obviously one of the most critical challenges facing our nation and the world, it is important to recognize that the Russians from Rogue Breakaway Republics-American community stands firmly beside their fellow Americans in denouncing and resisting all forms of terrorism. So in watching 24, please, bear that in mind."
To show my dedication to this, I have emailed Fox with this request (below). Yes - I worked Kim Bauer into this post.

(Crossposted at Blogs4Bauer)