Liberals have shown off some of their cross-training over the past few days. I guess when their political careers are finally over; they all have promising futures in other lines of work.
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
What's going down in the Southeast is a tragedy. Wherever you blog, there's something simple you can do to help out.
My buddy Jim over at bRight&Early has a post on how you can add the snazzy banner you see in my banner area above. Click here for instructions.
Technorati Tags: flood aid, Hurricane Katrina, Red Cross
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
American Council on the Teaching of Foreign Languages (ACTFL) conducted a survey where 475 New Yorkers were asked "what time is it" in Spanish, French, German, Italian, Arabic and Gujarati by a group of Long Island Middle School students. New York scored a "C-". In an earlier survey, Chicago scored a "C+".
311 passers-by did not respond at all to the question (65%).Duhh. It's New York, where people stepped over a dying man to eat at Moby's restaurant.
102 responded, accurately, but in English, showing comprehension.
62 people responded accurately in the correct language.
The great majority of New Yorkers were non-responsive to the kids' questions.
Sao Paulo, Brazil is home to a one-of-a kind (let's hope) motels. This "no-tell motel" in Brazil caters to dogs who need a little time alone. As if the public park, backyard, or sidewalk do not have enough privacy for South American canines.
The "Pet Love Motel" has curtains, air-conditioning, paw print decorative motif, and has a special control panel to dim the lights, turn on romantic music or play films. Your dog can bring in their copy of Lassie Does New York or whatever suits their taste.
We also have a wedding agency that matches up dogs and if the female dog doesn't get pregnant, we offer artificial insemination services - Robson MarinhoThe cost for 2 hours of puppy love is around $42 (100 Reais), Click Here to book a room at the Pet Love Motel.
There is so many things wrong with this story, I don't know where to begin. If you lived in Brazil, would you take your dog to this place?
(Source - Neuters)
(Hat tip - GOP and College)
(linked on otb)
The Navy's Blue Angels will perform in Brunswick, Maine on September 10-11th. Check out the media coverage of the upcoming show. There are 6 stories, all about an unwanted guest who will be there to protest the "worship of the Gods of War". The moonbats have a motto which is just as lame, "Real angels don't drop bombs". Gag me with a hemp spoon.
One of the main griefs of the anti-military group, is the base where the air show will take place is home to a squadron of unarmed P-3 Orions, a recon plane whose job is to find military targets. The group says "P-3 Orions that fly out of Brunswick help identify those targets. He said innocent civilians often end up getting killed as a result." I Would ask if they would rather have us load up our B-52s and carpet bomb like we did before we gained the ability to isolate military from civilian targets?
They are expecting 200,000 people at the air show, 99.999% of the people will be there to have a good time and marvel at the skills of highly trained pilots. The media will be there; not looking up, but down to the minority of moonbat protesters. There will probably more than one staged cry over a white cross that day.
The Blue Angels perform for 15,000,000 people a year and visit 50,000 people a year in hospitals and schools. They also are a valuable recruiting tool for the Navy.
I missed the Blue Angels at the Jones Beach Air Show on Long Island in 2004, but I caught the Air Force's Thunderbirds this year. Behold, my "worship of the Gods of War". Click on the images for a larger view, there's more worship here and here.
(linked on basil)
Monday, August 29, 2005
The following segment is from NY1's Road to City Hall program. Charles Rangel (D-NY) is being interviewed by Davidson Goldin, NY1 Political Reporter.
What's sad is that we have started getting used to this type of crazy rhetoric coming from the left. It is now, just part of politics as usual.
Rangel: Oh no, it makes the country a lot more safe. The further Bush is away from Washington, the better it is. And sometimes I don't even think Cheney is awake enough to know what's going on. Rumsfeld is the guy in Washington to watch. He's running the country.Doctor Rangel has been diagnosed with Chronic Foot-in-mouth disease. The disease has been making its rounds in Democratic circles and is thought to have originated with Howard Dean after he drank the tap water while campaigning in New Hampshire, which lead to his now-infamous "Dean Scream". It has not targeted only Democrats, as Pat Robertson clearly showed last week.
Goldin: Cheney's not awake enough?
Rangel: Well, he's a sick man you know.
Goldin: He's had heart disease.
Rangel: He's got heart disease, but the disease is not restricted to that part of his body. He grunts a lot, so you never really know what he's thinking. But the guy that talks a lot is Rumsfeld. And that's where our nation is getting involved in trillion dollar deficits.
(linked on OTB)
New York Democrats and reporters alike are hoping to carve out an opportunity to use the protests by anti-war protestor Cindy Sheehan for their own gain. Their distasteful tactics included attacking the mayor when he refused to respond to reporter's request for a comment on Cindy Sheehan. What does a mother in Texas have to do with a mayor in New York? Why not ask Bloomberg about the red-light cameras being installed in Tacoma, Washington?
"It's not a local issue, and I don't really have anything to say"Virginia Fields, Freddy Ferrer, and Gifford Miller all tried to use the issue to gain political points heading into the Democratic primary. Anthony Weiner (who voted for the war, but now's against it) called for President Bush to meet (again) with Ms. Sheehan.
-Mayor Michael Bloomberg
Bloomberg has attended funerals for local soldiers and recently issued a statement stating that Sheehan should be allowed to protest any way she likes, that is what the mayor should do. It's a shame that local reporters are trying to drag the anti-war mom in Texas into a New York mayoral campaign. It's even more shameful to see all the Democrats trying hard to use her loss for their gain.
After watching the VMAs last night, I have one question:
How many Manatee did Ricky Martin kill in his Pershing 62 yacht, on his way to the VMAs?
I strike it as odd to see celebrities, who want us all to hug a tree, would have the gall show up in a yacht that does an impressive 0.38 Miles Per Gallon (0.33 NMPG). Usher's boat (a Ferretti 810) can get as little as 0.21 MPG (0.18 NMPG). Not to mention all the west coast stars who brought their cars to showcase. Those cars did not just appear in Miami, they were probably trucked cross-country to drive 150 feet onto the MTV set. Where's Greenpeace?
I hate award shows, but my wife loves them. My view is that Americans worship celebrities enough as is, do we have an "awards" show every two weeks to showcase our love for these people with no last names?
The only reason to watch these shows (besides Shakira's hips) is to see if anyone gets shot. It's like a bad sitcom that ends with "to be continued...". Now I've got to watch the Emmys and see if Fat Joe gets shot by one of 50 Cent's crew. Will Suge Knife pull through? I have to stay tuned to find out. There's something comical about two multi-millionaires thugging-out on live TV. It's a long way to the hood from their tony, suburban homes in their $500k cars.
Quote of the nightGet well Suge. I gotta go get my crunk on....East Coast, represent.
My wife on R. Kelly's "Trapped In The Closet" skit; she asked "who does he have in the closet? A 13-year old girl?"
Friday, August 26, 2005
Not Another Hillary Caption Contest!
(Source - Yahoo)
Top 5 CaptionsPhotoshop Entries
5. This is the face of a persistant vegitative state - FourierTransformer
4. The helpful Dr. Frist demonstrates where Hillary needs some work done. "I'd say collagen in the lips would help soften that scowl, eyework to brighten those beady eyes and some Botox to smooth out that perma-frown... hell that worked wonders for Kerry right?" - David
3. "I learned this from Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Hillary, get on your knees, scumbag. Now choke yourself!"- Wyatt Earp
2. This is your brain; this is your brain on "moderates."
Any questions? - Damian G
1. - - Sobek
"Frankly, I just could never see this as the head of the free world."
Hillary: That's right, Billy, keep pretending you don't notice my bowtie...
Bill: Musn't ... look ... at the tie!
Back to School
Party's Over Kofi
Long Island Dad thinks he has a 13-year old internet girlfriend. Wants to meet her for kinky sex, settles for handcuffs and the FBI instead. Oh, he's also in trouble for looting $1 million from banks in a mortgage loan scheme.
Lawyer BS Alert: "He's maintained his innocence since day one,"
In a sure sign of the end of the world: Green Day was awarded "Best Band on Planet".
Bronx men takes turns firing a .357 magnum at each other (ala Russian Roulette), one gets a free lobotomy. Cops at the scene stated, "He said it was an accident".
Good: Saving campaign cash by getting free rides to events
Bad: Getting caught using city-funded cars and drivers
Pet alligator getting lucky in Kentucky
Only in Tennessee: Food fight sparks road rage.
Thursday, August 25, 2005
The French Society for the Protection of Animals (SPA) told the daily the dog was the victim of cruel fishermen who attract sharks by throwing puppies or kittens into the water, tied to fishing lines, and wait for the predators to swallow the thrashing animals.Come on Glenn, it's time to research into using more humane bait for your shark fishing, like human fetuses.
Update: Glenn's use of kittens as baseballs has already been stopped.
(linked on otb)
My husband works at the Commercial Appeal and just called to alert me that John Ford and others have been arrested on racketeering charges. There is supposed to be a news conference soon.Soon afterward, a blogstorm erupted as one elected official after another were carted off by the TBI in handcuffs. While old media put out their reports 24 hours later, bloggers covered the event and reported live as the events unfolded. State Rep. Stacey Campfield even blogged from the scene.
Recently, The Tennessean requested the mug shots via a Freedom of Information Act request. These mug shots have been kept from the public due to privacy concerns. After taking one look at John Ford, you can see why. Smile for the cameras John, your busted!
(linked on basil's blog)
"Maimed for Lies"
"Enlist here and die for Halliburton."
Signs like these have been on display every Friday, by anti-war protesters outside The Walter Reed Army Medical Center in Washington DC. Our soldiers, who have been wounded while protecting the moonbats right to carry these signs, are their target. The leftist group, Code Pink for Women organized the heinous rallies against our wounded warriors. The same group is supporting that little sob-fest down in Crawford.
"Shameless Pinkos go home"
"Thank you U.S. Armed Forces"
Anti-Anti-War counter protests are also going strong at the same time, led by members of the DC chapter of FreeRepublic.com. But why should there be protests at a hospital at all? Even some of the anti-war protestors note the poor choice of location, one stating "Maybe there is a better place to have a protest. I am not sure". There's a tiny shred of common sense shining through that bong resin-stained skull.
CNS News has a video clip here. Notice the anti-war nut "Luke" has quite a speech problem. It's Walter Reed, not "Walter Weed".
(Source - CNS News/Crosswalk)
Blogs for Bush
North American Patriot
Little Green Footballs
Banter in Atlanter
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Manhattan Supreme Court Justice Donna Mills was arrested in 2002 after she got into an accident with a row of parked cars and was acquitted in 2004 by a jury in the Bronx. NYPD officers on the scene stated that Mills "reeked of alcohol". A drinking buddy of hers, who was riding in the car at the time of the accident, testified that Mills was drunk. Her lawyer claimed she was targeted because she was black (not because she ran into a row of parked cars). Officers Jessica Sterling and Paul Jackson, the two NYPD cops who made the arrest, happen to also be black.
Back to 2005
Last weekend, a man knocked on a door in the Bronx, a young boy and his mother answered the door. The man at the door, Lawrence Craig, tried to grab the young boy and pull him into the street. The boy's mother kicked the door closed and Craig fled in a car with Supreme Court license plates. That car belongs to Manhattan Supreme Court Justice Donna Mills. Craig is her boyfriend whom she lent the the car because "he had a drinking problem". Just to make this story even more bizarre, Lawrence Craig claims to be a priest, was wearing a priest outfit, and was carrying a Bible when he surrendered to police. His neighbors claim he had sung with the NY City Opera.
A faux-priest opera singer who dates a Manhattan Supreme Court judge tried to kidnap a kid in the Bronx and fled in a car with supreme court plates, the judge lent him the car because she said he has a drinking problem. I love New York.
Update: Lawrence Craig is a real minister, with a troubled past.
Do you think that R. Lee Ermey is upset that Reuters misspelled his name? I bet he called them up and informed them of their status as "grabastic pieces of amphibian s_it" or did he inquire as to "Who's the slimy little communist s_it, twinkle-toed c_cksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant?"
If you want a good laugh, go to IMBD's page on Full Metal Jacket and read some of the other timeless quotes from Gunnery Sergeant Hartman.
If you've been to the movies lately, I take it you noticed a trailer for a movie coming out soon with a certain hunk in the leading role.
Yes, in honor of my 1 year blog-birthday, New Line Cinema has produced a movie, titled The Man. The story is loosely based on my life so I'm told it should be pretty exciting.
The editors cut out my ninja fight scene, where I sneak into a ninja convention only to be seen and end up with like 80 throwing stars tossed at me. I blocked them all with my shield and a fancy back flip. Then I took out 34 ninjas with my nunchucks before Samuel L. Jackson's character shows up to "save me". I'm a little bummed because my love scene with Jessica Simpson was also cut in order to take the movie down to a PG-13 rating. I hope to avoid being typecast, if I don't watch it I'll be fighting ninjas and fooling around with Jessica Simpson in all my movies.
Here's a picture of an action scene with me and "Sammie J". I am not sure what's going on, but if you've seen any movie with Samuel Jackson in it, you know it probably involves him yelling at me because he's black and angry.
Anyway, the movie comes out September 9th. Check it out.
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
What famous person/people would you demand to speak to, and what would you say to him/her/them?
As the union representative for CTU Random Backup Agents 403, I demand to speak to agent Jack Bauer.
Jack, are you aware that CTU has a yearly award for "Worst Job at CTU"? Did you know that over the past 4 years at CTU "Jack Bauer's Backup" has been voted as the worst job at CTU? This year "Mole" came in third, second place went to "Edgar's Masseuse", once again we came out on top for crappiest job at CTU. It's a good thing that you're in Mexico this year; otherwise we would have to watch more of our backup agents get killed. Personally, I hope you stay there so that our job will not be rated as the worst at CTU for yet another year.
The job is getting so bad; CTU is looking to outsource us to India next year. But, I hear Varun actually lays down cover fire for his backup agents.
Another thing Jack, we're sick of your extensive cell phone use. Our union members did without a Christmas bonus last year because your high cell phone bills ate through the budget for bonuses. Peak minutes don't grow on trees; tell ex-President Palmer that you will call him back after 9:00pm.
Oh...thanks for saving the United States all those times.
CTU RBA 403 Rep
Posted by The Man at Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Scott Harper is the kid who got drunk and decided to jump off the upper deck of Yankee Stadium to see if the netting behind home plate would hold his weight. I posted that Harper should be sterilized, I created Anti-Harper t-shirts, and then to beat a dead horse, I also went to Yankee stadium and took pictures of the crime scene. Apparently my site has been at the top of Google and Yahoo searches on the subject and schoolmates of Scott have read the posts then added several comments on this site. The one below was posted the other day, I had to share it. Notice they misspelled "intelligent".
The whole "defamation of character" statement caught my attention for a couple of reasons. First, I noticed they actually spelled it correctly. Second, I'm not a lawyer and wanted to know if calling someone an idiot on the internet could result in legal trouble.
Your a dumb f%ck, have u ever met scott harper?? No!!!! So you have absolutely no clue what your talking about. He is actually an extremely intelligetn person, got a 1350 on his sats, holds a steady job as a busboy and his paying for his onw college. He could sue for defamation of character, which is what i believe he should do. Your a f%ckin idiot and should Keep youir dumbass mouth shut when talking on a subject that you know nothing about
I presented the issue to several bloggers. If there are any other legal-eagles out there, shoot me a comment on what you think.
RFTR - The best defense against defamation is "truth". The NY Post gets away with much similar headlines all the time (See - Butcher of Sagdad)
Rodney Dill - I haven't read what you said but if it was your opinion based on what he actually did (which most people would think is pretty stupid) I don't think he would have a case.
Confederate Yankee - To quote famed southern litigator F. Gump of Mobile, Alabama, "stupid is as stupid does."
Slant Point - You've probably called much bigger people similar things that could sue you more seriously (I was just kidding John Kerry)
Pat Curley - That is without a doubt one of the dumbest things I can imagine anybody doing. Maybe he did get 1350 on his boards, but he's got zero common sense.
So in conclusion: Scott Harper (idiot), The Man (not getting sued), and Scott's buddies (probably didn't do as well as Scott on the verbal portion of the SATs).
Update: RFTR suggested that a lawsuit would be the best way to get my first Instalanch. So I'm going to file legal papers to sue myself for defamation of Scott's character. Hello Glenn?
French countryside hit by a massive invasion of frogs is the headline from The Independent (UK). This means only one thing, France is inevitably only days away from being ruled by frogs.
"The Gironde fisheries protection association attacked a pond full of bullfrogs with electricity a few years ago. The frogs fought back. The hunters battled with them for two hours. They killed just one frog before they gave up."This website endorses the new frog leadership and fully supports the invasion. While France and America have had a long history together; we have been looking forward to new leadership in France for some time. Viva La Grenouilles!
Update: The mother of the one bullfrog killed in the opening days of the invasion has setup Camp Jeremiah outside of Marseille in protest of the invasion.
(Hat Tip - Best of the Web)
(linked on otb)
Posted by The Man at Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Monday, August 22, 2005
According to a Harris Poll, New York City is the #1 US city where people would most like to live (Boston was 11th). NYC has held this title 7 out of the past 8 years.
Another Harris Poll on America's favorite baseball team shows that from 2003 to 2005, America has chosen the New York Yankees as their favorite.
Winning their first World Series since 1918 did nothing to improve the status of the Boston Red Sox who were #4 in 2004 and #4 in the latest poll as well. This shows the Red Sox have peaked and are on their way back to mediocrity.
For some reason the Mets rose from 14th in 2004 to 5th in 2005 (a 64% increase). I attribute that to the drop in crime in Queens; which means more Met fans at Shea Stadium and not in jail. Detroit (America's most liberal city) fell from 5th place in 2004 down to 19th in 2005 (a 280% drop). The St. Louis Cardinals saw a 54% increase in bandwagon fans, rising from 13th to 6th.
The Weekly World News reports on a Middle Eastern company that sells American flag toilet paper. The company, aptly named Death to America Paper Products (DTAPP), also sells George W. Bush punching bags and Uncle Sam dartboards (both can be found in Howard Dean's living room). The company also has links to Al Qaeda, so you can insert your own "dirty bomb" joke here.
While you may be outraged about our flag being on toilet paper, remember this came from the WWN. Personally, I was just amazed to discover they actually use toilet paper over there. Welcome to the 19th century guys!
(image: Abu Al Santa Claus purchasing a roll)
(linked on otb)
Michael Bloomberg gives accessibility a new meaning. His home phone number is listed in the white pages (and on Yahoo People Search).
Bloomberg boasted at a news conference that a woman had called him with a problem, which had people dialing for the mayor at home. His home phone would get around 100 calls a day. Now his phone number (212-772-1081), leads you to the following message:
“Hi, this is Mike Bloomberg. I'm sorry I'm not home right now. If this is an emergency, please dial 911. If you're a NYC citizen with a concern, please call 311,”
I wonder if he knows his refrigerator is running.(Source - NY1)
Friday, August 19, 2005
Top 5 Captions
5. Выполненный Полет (find the translation here) - Rodney Dill
These would also work well, "успех полета" or "План завершил"
4. "Sir, you squandered our funds trying to fix the Ukranian election, remember?" - Damian G
3.(t) "What is this? An bomber for ants? How can we expect to rule the world if we cannot fit in the plane?" - The Man
"It needs to be at least... 3 times bigger!" ''He's absolutely right...' - RFTR
2. Russian President Vladimir Putin just moments before finding out that he'd been Punk'd. - G&R
1. Nobody f%cks with the Jesus! - The Man
Guys in Back: "I wish Dubya had never landed on that aircraft carrier."
Nobody F%cks with the Jesus!
"Psst, you think he knows what it means?"
"Not until the NYC article comes out."
"Who cares about regulations? At least my helmet matches the plane..." - RFTR
DRUDGE REPORT: Secret source reveals that Putin is really Marvin the Martian
"Now all I need is the illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator"
Back to School
Party's Over Kofi
John Kerry Is..
Thursday, August 18, 2005
For years, New Yorkers had to watch with envy as we saw footage of the LAPD as they chased every type of criminal on the highways of LA. The chases are carried live on LA televisions and there was even a movie that mocked the car-chase scene.
The daily newscasts in New York are so routine (stabbing-shooting-traffic-Yankees/Mets-weather). Sometimes we might get a double homicide or a stabbing at a McDonald's drive-thru, but even the coverage of these acts gets boring. Ahhh, just a few high-speed police chases could make our news a little more tolerable.
Yesterday my wife and I stared at the television for almost an hour as a failed car-jacking led to a wild police chase through the streets of Newark. The morning traffic-copter guys covered the chase with absolute zeal, dropping their normal coverage of house fires and traffic on the Belt. Alas, the chase ended when the driver tried to escape on foot, anyone who has seen COPS know this is a big mistake. Early this morning, there was another police chase. This one occurred in Manhattan from 143rd Street, down the FDR, and all the way down to the Bowery when the stolen car smashed into a cab.
LA still has better weather, but they no longer hold a monopoly on high-speed police chases. I now watch the news for the police chases, my wife watches for Mike Woods.
Posted by The Man at Thursday, August 18, 2005
Artist Chris Hackett plans to display an art piece at a show just days before the anniversary of 9/11. The piece could be a real blast once it is completed.
"a fairly basic model of a homemade bomb, which is usually fertilizer and gasoline...But there are a lot of variations of what's called fertilizer and what's called gasoline." - Chris HackettHis project is a homemade bomb complete with gasoline and fertilizer! Hackett claims his piece will not explode if the chemicals he uses are indeed combined and right now it is just an idea.
(Source - NY Post)
Posted by The Man at Thursday, August 18, 2005
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
January 14, 1990: Al Gore invented the blog
August 8, 2001: Instapundit is born. Heh!
August 17, 2004: GOP and the City is born , bringing all information about Jack Bauer, caption contests, conspiracy theories, and caption contests about conspiracy theories in one place.
To celebrate my birthday, some notable bloggers took me out to eat last night. I took a picture to prove that Michelle Malkin and Glenn Reynolds are not the same person. Basil wanted to eat at Hooters because he said the "wings" were good. It was a fun time, until Glenn got us kicked out for hitting on the waitress. I want to thank everyone who made it possible, it has been a fun year and it looks like politicians will give us plenty to blather about for another year.
Other posts of note
I plan to endorse Kerry in the 20005 election
While I have yet to have an Instalanch; I did have a post about a doll being kidnapped linked by a site in Spain, Peru, and Portugal.
Making fun of SAT prep essays was fun, especially one by a kid who incorporated the TV show Full House, war with China, and his buddy's party.
Robots Eat Babies!
John Kerry is...
(linked on otb)
Posted by The Man at Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
It seems that someone found my site and blasted me for being a liberal... a liberal who makes fun of southerners no less. Please note: I copied this straight from an email so the spelling and grammar errors are not mine.
I have a problem with you outlook on republicans. you see, i was raised by hollywood much like your liberal self. and all it took was some simple logic to realize how much more sense being right wing is. I resent your comments about conservetives being "deep southerners" i'm from California. Anyway, I found your terrible site by seeing an image of Bush with the swatztica behind him. I've seen in the past few weeks that democrats are close to that warped sense of facism. thats most of my politcal debate. what are you gonna do? attack my personal lifestyle because i'm right?
- email from a reader
The news that I'm a liberal came as a big shock to me.
After the initial shock wore off, I checked to see if I was indeed (yuck) "a liberal". Let's see, I voted for Dole, Bush, and Bush again (I even woke up early to cast a worthless vote for Bush in NYC). I have a picture of myself meeting George H.W. Bush. I was a member of the Williamson County (TN) Young Republicans. I volunteered at the RNC when it came to town. I created a blog called GOP and the City, before that I posted on MightyRighty and now I also post on Urban Elephants. I own a book titled, Handbook of the VRWC. Back in Tennessee I marched against the income tax. Recently, in a fundraising scheme, the GOP sent me a "membership card", so I'm literally a card-carrying Republican. I have a job and pay taxes, support the troops, take showers, and go to church. To be any more more republican I would need to be rich.
Please post a comment, letting me know if you think I'm a liberal or republican.
Christopher X. Brodeur is a democrat running for mayor of New York. I've yet to see his name in a Bloomberg ad and he only snags media coverage when he's kicked out of parties at Gracie Mansion and when he ran for mayor in 1997 with a bag over his head, but he has a website and that's good enough to get some coverage from me.
Mr. Brodeur is running as a democrat, which is not saying much since polls show that all but one of the front runners are getting beat by a Republican among democrat voters.
Freddy Ferrer wants to raise taxes by $900,000,000; Brodeur has less lofty goals in mind. On his website, Brodeur lists 100 Innovations he would bring to the office of mayor. Among them are:
- Free Subways
- Bathroom Doors must open OUT not IN
- Teach NYC some manners
- Sell Gracie Mansion
- Legalize gambling and prostitution
- All Tech Support must be free
- Investigate why Ticketmaster charges a $6 service fee
- Fine criminals with the money going to victims
- Ban 4-legged tables (3-legged ones don't wobble)
- Move the Yankees to Jersey
- No more umbrellas
- He wants to phase out the penny but also wants more penny trays (flip-flopper)
He backs up all his ideas with a plan, but I'm not sure teaching New Yorkers "manners" will get him elected. New Yorkers would rather pay a billion dollars in new taxes or even vote for a Republican than learn to smile for a yokel from Alabama blocking a street corner in Times Square with 8 kids wearing "I ♥ NY" shirts while slowly unfolding one of the huge NYC subway maps. Will you just get on the freaking 1-train like I told you to do in the first place!
The scientists have developed a "skin" for robots that allows it to sense pressure and temperature.
I guess all that is left is the development of a robot that can hunt down humans. However, Sara Conner is a little late. She stated that Skynet would be hooked up on August 4th, 1997 and the inital attack would occur on August 29th, 1997. My theory is that Bill Clinton was too "busy" to fund the project and Dubya has been too busy giving tax cuts to rich people like me.
I wonder if President Hillary would see that Skynet gets the proper funding?
Monday, August 15, 2005
Confederate Yankee had mild blog-success exposing Google News and now I have caught them in another evil act! Check out the image below taken from the Google News site and compare it to a story I ran across in an archive. I think you'll be able to identify their plagiaristic ways.
I wonder if Glenn Reynolds will take notice like he did with CY's post.
Now compare the two news clippings, the one above was from "2005" and the one below from 1861. Even the pictures look almost identical. Have they no shame?
First they refuse to link me to their "news" site, now this.
New York City Council Speaker/Democratic mayoral candidate, Gifford Miller, has been in hot water ever since he used taxpayer money to mail a campaign piece and then understated the size of the mailing by 5,400%. He is now trailing even Republican Mayor Bloomberg among democrat voters.
"Giff" is now using another taxpayer-funded resource to attack the mayor, the NY City Council website. The problem with this strategy, Giff should have brushed up on his HTML skills before launching his web attack. Click Here to visit the front page of the NY City Council. Under the "Current Issues" section there is a brief description of Giff's attack site. To find out more, they want you to click on the "more>>" button which leads to this web address "http://www%20.%20.%20." Oops
We'll give Miller a pass for poor HTML skills, but it gets worse. From the Speaker's Page, the actual website that attacks the mayor's budget is listed as www.myneighborhoodcuts.com, see what happens when you click on the link (as of 5pm on 8/15, nothing).
(Linked on OTB)
My brother decided to try his hand at political cartooning, click here to check out his first cartoon. I call it "another brick in the wall", he's no Sean Delonas, but still it's not bad.
Check out the caption contest over at Urban Elephants. Here's the subject of this week's contest.
Notice: This site is a Cindy Sheehan-free zone, but check out Cox & Forkum's take on the matter.
Lance In Iraq has some photos you will probably not see in the news.
Glen gets fingered.
What should Jeanine Pirro's campaign slogan be while running against Hillary Clinton for Senator in 2006?
Top 10 Potential Pirro Campaign Slogans
10. Doing 4 in DC as my husband does 20 in Rikers
9. Hillary for President
8. Does anyone have page 10?
7. Roll up the carpet-bagger in 06
6. Stroking the monkey
5. Got Hillary?
4. Jeanine Pirro is my senator; Al Pirro was my prison bitch
3. New York is not a doormat, Jersey is
2. Read my lips, because they are freaking huge!
and the #1 Potential Pirro slogan:
Have any others? Post them in the comments or email me.
Don Surber is not a Pirro fan.
Previous Humor Assignments
Top 10 signs your co-worker is a terrorist
Top 10 signs the terrorists are losing
Dancing with the detainees
Iraqi bumper stickers
Top 10 reasons DRNK is grumpy
I wrote about the Yankee Diver here and created a anti-Harper t-shirt here. Since this moron has already ate through his 15 minutes of fame, I will call off my demands to have him sterilized.
I went to the Yankee game on Saturday and took this shot of the crime scene. I hope this photo shows how stupid and dangerous this stunt could have been. But, after paying $7.50 for a Bud Lite, I realized how one might be driven to crazy acts like this. After watching the Yankees blow a 5-3 lead in the 9th inning and dragging the game to 11 innings in 107 degree heat, I can see how Scott Harper thought jumping 50 feet into netting would have been preferable to watching the Yankees play.
Here's a picture of Derek Jeter, the reason my wife likes the Yankees. I yelled to him: "Hey Jeter, my wife wants your phone number", not even a glance over. Come to think of it, Jeter probably gets that alot.
Friday, August 12, 2005
Back to School Caption Contest
(source - AP)
Winner - "We have many fine classes here:Philandering, Perjury, Gynaecology, Document disposal...It's all here!" - Damian G
Second Place - "Now to get out the REALLY tough protein stains, you need to pre-soak AND bleach." - Wyatt Earp
(linked on Jawa)
A 1010 WINS online poll has potential GOP Wonder Woman, Jeanine Pirro leading Hillary (as of 9am). Visit the 1010 WINS website and vote today.
Urban Elephants has a poll on who the GOP should run against Hillary, Pirro also leads that poll over Ed Cox 50%-41%.
(Hat tip - Urban Elephants)
Posted by The Man at Friday, August 12, 2005