Weekend Caption/Photoshop Contest
The Democratic Underground was having a t-shirt design contest! Since the contest comes from the folks at DU, "Republicans are poo poo heads" and "Bush is Hitler" have already been submitted.
Friday, April 29, 2005
DU T-Shirt Contest
Thursday, April 28, 2005
Generation Duuhh - Part 6
When an SAT prep test asks the students to write an essay, you never know what view or thought you are going to get, sometimes it is best not to ask. The following is an essay from a student who was asked about the pros and cons of technology.
The civilized man has built a coach, but has lost the use of his feet.Now I usually post images of the essay and then pick them apart. Recently, I was sent two pages from an essay and was really inspired by 2/3rds of the essay. The author quotes Ralph Waldo Emerson about the losses we incur as we depend more on technology. The essayist even admits to falling into the technology trap with the use of a calculator as a crutch, explaining they will probably not do well on the test because they left the machine at home.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
I am not sure if Emerson would enjoy the summary of the paper as the author states that we will be taken over by our creations, then resorts to crude hieroglyphics to bring home the point.
(click for a larger view)
Previous posts include 5 of the 7 Deadly Sins: wrath, pride, lust, sloth and John Kerry.
Next Wednesday: Sometimes They Come Back - what happens when Generation Duuhh tries to enter the workforce.
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
International Respect for Chickens Day
Today is International Respect for Chickens Day. While Hallmark may not make a card for today and we have go to work, try to take some time to pay respect to your favorite chicken today. The founder of this special day is the voice behind several characters on the Simpsons, Harry Shearer.
Note: This is not to be confused with Chicken Holiday
Other Links
Boss a chicken around here
NY Daily News prints instructions on catching a rooster (step 1 is not ask yourself what the hell is a rooster doing in Brooklyn)
Ace links to some folks who know their chicken
Malkin has her dates all messed up, IRCD was back on 4/27
Cast The First Stone
The Democrats are trying to make you believe they have suddenly found religion by quoting scripture. They overlooked one Biblical message, it goes something like this: Jesus came across a group of people about to stone a "sinner" to death. He intervened and asked the crowd "let the one who is free of sin cast the first stone". Well in their feverish rush to lay accusations and point fingers at Tom Delay and his much reported travels, they forgot when you point a finger at someone else, there are three more pointed back at you. As Ward Churchill would say, the chickens are coming home to roost.
10 out of the top 10 most traveled pols were Democrats
Our favorite whipping boy, Congressman Maurice "Rovebot" Hinchey (D-Hurley) has put in 102 days of work for the taxpayers of New York as a representative to Congress this year. But for 140 days since January 1, 2000, he has been on the dime of those evil special interest groups. Representative Hinchey's bill topped $161,393 covering 25 trip to such places as Rome and Morocco (and to some extent, the moon). While Delay is taking the heat, his total is $94,568 during the same time frame ($66,825 less than Hinchey). This ranks Maurice as the 5th highest spender of any federal lawmaker. You can see a list of all Maurice's trips here.
Hypocrisy Update: While Delay is being ripped on his travels, a Hinchey spokesperson stated that his excessive trips were "an important part of his job". (NY Post)
Return to Main Page
Other links
Michelle Malkin chimes in
NY Post coverage
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Star Wars Caption Contest
Caption the "Peace Trooper"
1) Caption this scene or photoshop it
2) Email me photoshop entries
3) Deadline: Friday April 29
Photoshop Entries
- The Man
- The Man
- Ace noticed the hippie trooper as well -
Previous Caption Contests
John Kerry Is...
Just One Minuteman
Caption Clinton
Giuliana Sgrena Photoshop Contest
Caption Dean
Caption Captain Carter
Here's Your Sign
Chappaquiddick Caption Contest
Monday, April 25, 2005
24 Blogging
"I want Jack Bauer arrested!"
- President Logan
Does President Logan (the Nixon look-a-like) know whom he is dealing with? I hope the Secret Service has 126 Ninjas standing by to take down Jack. Even with num-chucks and throwing stars, they may not be any use against Bauer.
Why is former President Palmer still doing Allstate commercials? America needs him now.
It figures; the arab terrorist who is arming the nuke went to Berkley. I love Fox! Two weeks in a row they highlight the danger of when liberals go unchecked.
When America views the tape the Marwan made, I wonder if they will think: 1) Damn I never got to visit Philly before it was nuked or 2) That's a kicking Oakenfold dance mix in the background, I wish that terrorist would shut up.
Marwan made the mistake all classic bad guys make, never broadcast your intentions to the good guys while you have them hostage....or make a video tape of your plans and then let the guy holding the tape get in the way of Jack Bauer's bullets. On a side note, I guess video tapes are not bulletproof.
Former President Palmer: "Was Airforce One covered by Allstate?"
Secretary of State (the Cheney look-a-like) says to Palmer, "America could face its biggest terrorist threat yet". Do you think a better statement would have been: "America could face its biggest terrorist threat...since, you left office"? Should they have called the president in office prior to Palmer? Palmer seems to attract disasters like stink on shit, that's why he is now pimping Allstate insurance.
President Logan flip-flops and releases Bauer, this guy is worse than John Kerry. Well, probably not.
They are sending Chole out in the field? Are they freaking nuts, oh yea she is going to shoot someone. I guess Edgar could not get his fat-ass up in the CTU Ford Explorers.
An arab-looking guy named Samir located somewhere in Iowa. That pretty much narrows it down to one guy. He also breaks bad-guy rule #7: don't piss off your nosey girlfriend (who has a Computer Science degree).
HOLY SHIT Chole ended up shooting someone!
Lessons learned: Video tape - not bulletproof, Wirlpool washer/dryer combo - bulletproof
Next week: Jack dresses like a ninja and storms the Chinese embassy...possibly starts a war. Hell no, I don't make this stuff up.
Actress: 9/11 Was Our Fault
"I think what's good about the movie is that it deals with 9/11 in such a subtle, open, open way that I think it allows it to be more complicated than just 'Oh, look at these poor New Yorkers and how hard it was for them,' because I think America has done reprehensible things and is responsible in some way"
- Actress Maggie Gyllenhaal
Maggie Gyllenhaal (a New York native) made these comments at the Tribeca Film Festival, which was ironically founded to help lower Manhattan recover from the 9/11 attacks which Maggie thinks we so deserved. Screw her and he new film, The Great New Wonderful.
Update: Maggie's agent is Courtney Kivowitz at BenderSpink. Phone is (323) 856-5500 and fax is (323) 856-5502.
Other Links
Daily News
City Councilman demands an apology
Newsday has a poll on the story (43% thinks she should apologize / 20% agree with her - as of 2pm)
Trey Jackson manages to put this idiot's statement in "context"
Holy Election Fraud!
Cesar Romero, who played The Joker on the Batman television series, died in 1994. In 2001 he became a resident of Brooklyn thanks to a crooked wanna-be politician needing names for a petition to be included an election ballot. In an odd joining of good and evil, The Joker's arch nemesis, Batman (aka Adam West), also joined him on the same petition. Holy Felony!
Germania Taveras was later ratted out by a volunteer for her campaign, José Monzon. Monzon noticed her attempts at forgery and had her add Romero and West as signers of the petition in an attempt to have her busted. José had approached her on the fraud and she responded with: "In politics there is no such thing as being fair, honey. Everybody plays dirty". Well, at least she is honest in some regard.
Taveras failed to win a seat on Brooklyn's 37th district and faced 62 counts of election fraud in 2003. She failed to show up for her court date and was later busted for hopping a subway turnstile. In the end, Tavaras recently pleaded guilty for offering a false instrument for filing, a felony which could land her in jail for 3 years.
(source - NY Post)
24 Roundup
It's Monday, meaning that 24 will be on Fox tonight. Unlike Desperate Housewives, you don't need a replay of the enire season to get caught up. Here is this season of 24 in a nutshell: Jack Bauer yells into a cell phone, shoots the bad guys, big explosion, and random backup agent dies.
Last week ended just as Jack tricked a liberal lawyer and was about to get into the torture motiff that has ran throughout this season. Previous CTU torture methods failed to lead to any information because they did not let Jack in on the torturing. If Jack had been torturing, 24 would have been renamed 12.
Alas, this week ex-President Palmer has quit doing Allstate commercials and is back to give advice to the new president. Seriously, why would the new president call Palmer? During Palmer's tenure, the US was hit with a nuke and a killer virus. The president soliciting leadership advice from Palmer is akin to Brittany Spears seeking parenting advice from Courtney Love.
Whatever happens tonight on 24, be sure that I will pick it apart on Tuesday.
Previous 24 Posts
Jack bags a liberal
24 Blogging
Worst Job at CTU
Worst Job: Part 2
Jack Bauer is a sissy
AM NewYork Called Out on Pope Photo
I included a picture of the pope in Friday's AM New York paper on this post. It took Greg at Catscape only seconds to see the obvious insult to the new pope "hidden" in the AP photo. I noticed it right away, leading me to wonder why the paper chose to run this particular photo out of thousands that were available. To claim that a trained, paid editor failed to spot this is laughable at best.
It seems as if the photo caught the eye and ire of some other readers. Their letters led the editors to issue an apology, calling it a "bizarre optical illusion". I think they should apologize for thinking we were stupid enough to think it was a mistake. AM New York is a daily free newspaper published by Newsday, a paper that never misses a chance to bash religion.
Friday, April 22, 2005
The New Pope
(see anything wrong with this picture? Post a comment if you do)
Not long after I was confirmed into the Catholic faith, John Paul II dies. The pageantry and tradition that followed was amazing in the eyes of this young Catholic neophyte. It was also pleasing to see the church being portrayed in a positive light for once in the media. Alas, the brief honeymoon with the media ended when Sir Elton John was not selected as the new leader of the church; instead it was one of those hated "conservatives". Alas the selection of this pope dashed the hope of some that the new pope would come out in sequined robes, usher in lesbian priests, and end with a loud "Fo Shizzle", in latin "Shizzlis Fozzi", and italian "pe Shizzi".
The white smoke had yet to clear and the negative media spin machine (starved of church bashing for weeks) eagerly went out to interview any person they could find who was unhappy with the new pope. I cannot stand reading articles like this written by people who want the church to throw away 2,000 years of tradition and bring in a "hip" pope. The church was not setup to mimic the latest trends in society, nor should it ever try to embellish the wants and desires of the latest fad in order to please a minority. People put their faith into their religion because the church itself is a rock to depend on. Trends have no such foundation and will eventually pass into the dustbin of time.
I live with my fiancé (in sin), the Catholic church is still there for me and will always be there. The first church, founded by St. Peter, was built on a rock and will remain there no matter what time throws its way. If you have a problem with it, email the new pope: benedictxvi@vatican.va
Other Links
All Along the Blogtower is helping CINO's cope
The Anchoress takes down a CINO snob
Thursday, April 21, 2005
The Bush Beetle
Agathidium bushi, A. cheneyi, and A. rumsfeldi could soon be the names of recently discovered slime-mould beetles. The scientists behind the naming insist they are fans of George W. Bush and think it is a way to honor them. Others see it as an easy shot for jokesters as the beetles spend their days in and around "festering goo".
Past luminaries who have had new species named after them include: Darth Vader, Hernando Cortes, and Pocahontas. Come on, how about naming them: John, Ringo, Paul, and George?
(Source - Agence France-Presse)
Get on the Bus Caption Contest
Get on the Bus Caption Contest
1) Either post a comment or email me a caption
2) Photoshop entries should be emailed
Photoshop Entries
FauxNews always jumps to conclusions, blaming every little paper bus bombing on Osama.
- The Man
(Linked at OTB)
Previous Caption Contests
John Kerry Is...
Just One Minuteman
Caption Clinton
Giuliana Sgrena Photoshop Contest
Caption Dean
Caption Captain Carter
Here's Your Sign
Chappaquiddick Caption Contest
Has Hell Froze?
A proposed abortion bill in the Senate would make abortion illegal under certain circumstances, such as a married couple having an unwanted child. The only instances where an abortion would be allowed are in cases where the mother’s health was threatened or if the fetus was conceived through incest or rape.
"I think with the passing of this bill we can stop future mothers from getting away with killing innocent babies" - Democratic Senator
Another bill in the Senate deals with stem cells and would allow scientists to use adult stem cells instead of embryonic stem cells for research aimed at enabling scientists to discover cures for life- threatening diseases like cancer and leukemia. The bill would be funded by allocating money from the Strategic Defense Initiative Act, and NASA and is to be enacted in 2008.
"The bill is needed because it gives scientists the opportunity to find cures because diseases are all around us so stem cells should be explored," - Republican Senator
Take a deep breath and don't bother checking for these quotes on Drudge or the Daily Kos because the senators are students taking part of a High School Model Congress in New Jersey. I thought it was ironic that a Donk was trying to limit abortions and a Republican was looking at cutting defense spending to study stem cells. That would surely be one of the signs of the apocalypse, the next being frogs raining from the sky.
The abortion bill was shot down and the stem cell bill passed leaving the "republican" gloating: "The passing of the stem cell bill will help scientists save lives, allow people to have longer life spans, and healthier lives as well as bring hope to those who are very ill. The denial of the abortion bill will allow society and future mothers to decide whether they want to bring a child to the world and keep the freedom Americans live for valid," - Republican Senator
Talk about a true "RINO". My next update from the Model Congress will detail the fate of the Electorial college, the draft, and the name of Brittany's kid.
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
New Filthy Lie Assignment: Evil Glenn and baseball
How will Evil Glenn be getting involved in Major League Baseball?
(An Alliance Assignment*)
Prior to the 2005 season, MLB executives were looking to quicken the pace of games and bring more dog lovers into the ball parks. Evil Glenn, being a baseball fan and dog lover came up with a rule change that would kill two birds (or cats) with one stone. The Milwaukee Brewers also saw the idea as a way to deal with their state's own cat-hatred and volunteered to test out Evil Glenn's wicked plan.
Current MLB rules regarding the makeup of a baseball:
1.09 - The ball shall be a sphere formed by yarn wound around a small core of cork, rubber or similar material, covered with two stripes of white horsehide or cowhide, tightly stitched together. It shall weigh not less than five nor more than 5 1/4 ounces avoirdupois and measure not less than nine nor more than 9 1/4 inches in circumference. - MLB
Evil Glenn's rule change:
1.09 - The ball shall be a kitten. It shall weigh not less than five nor more than 5 1/4 ounces avoirdupois and measure not less than nine nor more than 9 1/4 inches in circumference.
The MLB liked Evil Glenn's rule change so much, they tried it out for one Spring Training game this year. The Milwaukee Brewers volunteered and were eager to test out the new balls. After that first game, it became clear to Baseball fans, executives, and equipment managers that kittens would not make a viable baseball replacement.
(Sunday March 7 - Brewers/Mariners)
Top 10 reasons Kittens are not a viable baseball replacement
10) Umpire's "strike" call interrupted by loud purring
9) PETA has bought season tickets
8) Catchers complained of kittens attacking after being thrown
7) When hit, kittens tend to separate into two or more projectiles
6) Pitchers complained that kittens do not like to be scuffed up
5) White kittens hard to see during the day, black kittens hard to see at night
4) Fans no longer thrilled to catch foul balls
3) Rabbits would probably be cheaper to use
2) Kittens are hard to stitch
1) Batters tend to "tear the cover off" the new balls
*no kittens were hurt while creating this post
Jack Bauer bags a Liberal
Much to the dismay of liberals everywhere, Jack Bauer stopped shooting muslims in order bring his wrath to the second most troublesome group in the war on terror: Bleeding Heart Liberals. In a storyline you will not see on F***ing Deadwood or The West Wing, the good guys win by getting rid of the pesky lawyer and breaking a thug's fingers one-by-one.
Between the hours of 12:00 and 1:00am, most of America is presumably sleeping. Not that an attack on a passenger train, nuclear meltdown, and the shooting down of Air Force One by a stolen F-117 Stealth fighter would keep anyone up watching the news. Apparently America does not care that a Dick Cheney look-a-like is pulling the strings of the new president.
The climax of the show had Curtis (backed up by 15 random backup agents) take down a suspected terrorist who has contact with the man who just stole a nuclear warhead. Now CTU should really evaluate their need for Jack Bauer, because all 15 agents returned without getting shot, stabbed, or blown up. As a taxpayer, I also would like them to reevaluate their manpower demands. When the nuclear codes need to be returned, they send Jack, a helicopter, and a doomed random backup agent. When they get a tip one possible terrorist, they send in 15 guys and Curtis. Someone needs to update their priorities before 43 CTU agents respond to a report of a double-parked car at the 7-11.
Curtis got his man and took him back to CTU. Curtis was then put in charge of doing what he does best, torturing the crap out of the bad guys (or gals). After this season, CTU needs to be renamed Careless Torture Unit because they have tortured the son of the Secretary of Defense (over two episodes) and found nothing, they tortured a 16 year old boy then his mother and found nothing, they even tortured one of their own employees and found...nothing. This time they are almost ready to get the next round of torture underway, when the head terrorist calls in the big guns. He phones Amnesty Global, a legal group aimed at aiding terrorist in custody (hello Amnesty International). The presence of the lawyer stops all "questioning" of the suspect, ensuring the bad guys a temporary victory.
Jack Bauer is not one to sit by and let crap like this happen, so he pulls the bald-headed civil- rights lawyer aside and asks him if he can live with the millions of Americans who could die due to CTU not being able to adequately torture the suspect, obviously the liberal lawyer has no problem with it. I guess if millions of spotted owls or a few acres of wasteland in Alaska were in harm, he would have personally helped Jack torture the suspect. Facing a nuclear holocaust, Jack quits CTU and takes matters into his own hands. After the suspect is released, the liberal lawyer hands the suspect his business card (probably printed on hemp paper), jumps into his imported Mazda Miata convertible (notice the good guys all drive Fords) and heads to Starbucks for some Caramel Mochachinos. In the meantime, Jack uses a taser gun to take down the US Marshall guarding the suspect and then starts to break the fingers of the suspect's right hand, one-by-one. Next week he will give the suspect paper cuts with the lawyer's business card and pour lemon juice on the wounds while giving him wet willies (following CTU procedure)
Jack Bauer - 1
Liberals- 0
Other Links
Linked on the BTJ at OTB
Check out Vote for Judges take
Monday, April 18, 2005
24 Blogging
Some Random 24 Thoughts:
Jefferson City Iowa? There is no Jefferson City Iowa.
So they send in 15 agents to arrest one potential terrorist, but they send in only Jack to pick up the nuclear codes?
The Secretary of State (Dick Cheney look-a-like) stated that the convoy was struck in mountain area....in Iowa? Really?
CTU detains a guy who could lead America to the people who have a nuclear warhead. Leave it to FOX to have a liberal come in and screw things up. A lawyer, called in by a terrorist, from a group called Amnesty Global is sent in to make sure nothing happens to the guy and "due process" is followed. Amnesty International must be steaming right now. If that lawyer knew the extent of the torture that has gone on at CTU in the past few hours.... They tortured a 16 year old boy, the son of the Secretary of Defense, and even one of their own employees! Anyway Jack looks like he is going to pop a cap in the lawyer and terrorist.
In the end the liberal lawyer gets into his Mazda Miata (so he is gay as well) and heads off. The bad guy was escorted to his car and Jack ends up torturing him in his own car, by breaking his fingers. At least he did not give him a "wet willie".
I will have a full post tomorrow.
W
Recalling last year's team visit to the White House, Bush told the team: "I think I said last time there's a chance you'll be back. I wasn't sure about me." As the audience laughed and Bush winked at Kerry, the president added: "I'm confident I'll be back next year. And the way you've been playing, there's a good chance you will be, too." - APDo you think it rubs Kerry raw, that Bush has welcomed both the Red Sox and Patriots to the White House since being reelected? For that reason alone, I'm rooting for the Boston Bruins to win the Stanley Cup when the NHL starts its next season. It's not like the NY Rangers or Islanders have a snowball's chance in hell anyway.
George Soros: Antichrist?
Cardinal Giacomo Biffi is becoming a favorite among bookies betting on who will be the next pope. Biffi believes the Antichrist is living amongst us and would soon rise to prominence. According to Biffi, the Antichrist is a philanthropist who advocates causes like human rights, the environment, and ecumenicism. The cardinal also states the Antichrist, has a "fascinating personality" and also celebrates causes like vegetarianism, pacifism, environmentalism and animal rights.
George Soros is a philanthropist who advocates human rights, the environment, and ecumenicism. I am not fond of his personality, but for a few wackos I am sure he has a "facinating personality".
Now the "George W. Bush is the Antichrist" crowd dismisses these claims, adding that the Antichrist is most likely from Texas, speaks funny, and likes cowboy boots. The leaders behind these findings include the Archbishop of Moby and Cardinal Al Franken.
(source - Newsmax)
Friday, April 15, 2005
Generation Duuhh - Part 5
When an SAT prep test asks the students to write an essay, you never know what view or thought you are going to get, sometimes I think the kids don't know either. The following is an essay from a student who was asked about censorship. Somehow Vietnam and movies about the war framed the youngster's argument that: Vietnam wasn't all that bad, censorship on Vietnam war movies is ok but censorship on Not Another Teen Movie sucks.
(Click for a larger view)
Summary: Vietnam was not that bad because the student watched it on TV. Also, the censors did not affect the quality of TV coverage of the war or the Vietnam movies. It is obvious, they did not watch the stinker, Casualties of War with Sean Penn and Michael J. Fox. Other
Vietnam movies that did not suck: Platoon, Hamburger Hill, The Green Berets, Apocalypse Now
Summary: Another Teen Movie was hard to watch; not because it sucked, but because of censorship.
Other movies that sucked: The Big Hit, Iron Eagle II, Weekend at Bernies II, and the worst movie of all time, Millennium
Generation Duhh Part 1 - 2 - 3 - 4
Other Links
Who is John Wheeler
Thursday, April 14, 2005
I Miss Tennessee
Stories like this is why the TV show, COPS always come to Tennessee to film.
Jeff and Martha Freeman seemed like a happy couple, they lived in a tony Brentwood home, were licenced private investigators, and ran a business together. But Martha had a skeleton in the closet, well not really a skeleton, but kept Rafael DeJesus Rocha-Perez in the closet. Mr. Rocha-Perez had been living in the couple's closet for over a month while having an affair with Mrs. Freeman.
10pm Sunday night Mr. Freeman heard snoring coming from a closet and found his wife's lover. He demanded that Rafael leave, confronted his wife, and then left for a walk. Upon his return he was assaulted by Rafael with a shotgun and ended up dying of his injuries. At midnight, Mrs. Freeman called her mother-in-law and told her that Jeff was sleeping and could not talk to her. Monday afternoon Martha went to a neighbor's house and asked them to call the police, who found Mr. Freeman dead.
(Source - Tennessean)
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
John Kerry Is Contest
John Kerry Is... Contest
1) Submit a caption or photoshop of one the banner ads below (or make up your own)
2) Email me photoshop entries
3) Make sure you vote below. Just like a Democrat, you can vote more than once.
(Click for a larger view)
Photoshop entries
- The Man
- Glizzenn Reynolds 
- DW
- RFTR 
- WT
- The Man
- Pat
- Joe Mama
- The Man
- ItsaGleeson
- SobekOther Links
Brainster
Lifelike Pundits
Betsy's Page
Itsapundit
Eclipse
Malkin Dons The Tin Hat
Michelle Malkin's latest column dives into the mind of Theresa Heinz-Kerry. It seems as if those evil Republicans stole the last election.
According to Ms. Kerry:
- Two brothers were responsible for 80% of the voting machines and they are....."hard-right" republicans. So they hacked the vote from the machines (and made it close enough that Kerry got the most votes by a loser in US history)
- Heinz bashes the Catholic Church for having the nerve to hold true to their faith and not support her husband from the pulpit.
- She stated that people in West Virginia said Kerry was going to burn bibles.
Five things needed to be a THK Democrat
1) Tin foil cap
2) Catchy slogan (must rhyme)
3) Acknowledgment of the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy
4) Ignore Hillary's move to the right
5) Fox Blocker
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
John Kerry: Onion Reader
John Kerry (who once celebrated Chanuka in Cambodia) is crying foul over the 2004 election, again. James Taranto from OpinionJournal.com wonders if his latest cry of "trickery" at the polls on election day might have more fiction than fact, more satire than scoop. Kerry stated (without giving proof) that "Leaflets are handed out saying Democrats vote on Wednesday, Republicans vote on Tuesday".
Sorry Kerry, The Onion beat you to that story, Scrappleface beat The Onion. But don't hang your head in shame, even China has taken an Onion story as the truth.
Update: Al Franken beat everyone when he suggested this "trickery" in a comedy bit back in 2000
"If your friends say I'm voting for Bush, just remind them of the rule change. That Republicans get to vote on Wednesday, Nov. 8. Democrats vote on Tuesday and Republicans on Wednesday."
(Hat Tip - BOW)
I went out on the street to see what the people think of John Kerry's charges of "trickery". Here is what I found:
(click for a larger view)
*Onion spoof
Other Links
Jawa True
Malkin
Generation Why?
Blog Carnival
Say Anything
UnCorrelated
Jack Bauer's Backup: Part 2
I noted last week that being assigned backup to Jack Bauer on the show 24, is the worst job at CTU. Trained agents should smart enough to realize that whoever goes out with Jack, never gets to share the glory with Jack...they just end up dead. Last week's "random backup agent" was given 5 minutes of speaking roles before being stabbed in the neck. Jack then picked up his cellphone (which has a nuclear battery that never needs charging) and yelled.
This week, Jack was sent in (via helicopter) to recover the nuclear codes that were found in the wreckage of Air Force One, which was shot down by a stolen F-117 Stealth Fighter, which was piloted by an ex-Air Force pilot who chopped off the finger of another pilot to gain access to the plane. Jack was sent in with one backup agent. I knew what was coming up after the commercial break. But first, would it not have made sense to send in more than 2 people? Afterall, they were not going after just any armored briefcase with critical nuclear codes for the world's lone super power.
The "random backup agent" and Jack stormed the enemy position, but the backup agent failed to notice the open window he was standing in front of and a burst of bullets ended his role on the show, he did not have time to have a speaking role. After yelling into his nuclear powered cellphone, Jack managed to save the day (or hour) once again....with the thanks of that helicopter which brought the now-dead agent and Jack into the area. See the helicopter has guns mounted on it, which would have come in handy five minutes earlier (or between the minutes of 11:45 to 11:50 in 24 lingo).
Next week we will probably see more senseless killing of random backup agents. I have had enough and have now started a program for these poor guys, SKRAB.
Something In the Water
Is that for medicinal use?
There must be something in the water over at CBS. First Dan Rather and several of the producers are sent off for the infamous Memogate report. Now Rather's 60 Minutes partner, Andy Rooney seems to have a problem with the truth.
Rooney had a problem with the wording of the oath that states: "nothing but the truth, so help you God." The senile newshound stated: "I don't know about God".Andy Rooney began his testimony Monday by questioning the wording of the oath to tell the truth
-ABC News
He was called in to testify against a promoter who failed to pay Rooney $20,000 for a speaking arraignment. When he was not paid, Rooney took a camera crew to the promoter's house for a 60 Minute's piece. I think the real story is that Indiana State paid $30,000 to have Rooney speak in 2003, there has to be better ways to spend the student's fees.
In the speech at Indiana State, he questioned the use of embedded reporters. He stated that reporters should be allowed to roam and talk to anyone they want. He stated ‘‘What about just letting the reporters go where they want to?’’ It seems as if one CBS reporter did just that and ended up shot and arrested for aiding the insurgents. Plus it seems that if reporters were allowed to wonder around Iraq without the protection of the US military, many would end up minus a head on Al Jazeera.
Friday, April 08, 2005
Weekend Photoshop/Caption Contest
Weekend Photoshop/Caption Contest 
Top 5 Entries
5) Opaque people crossing - Hector Vex
4) Caution: Minutemen Working Ahead
- RFTR
3) Caution: Dead-beat Dads Ahead
- The Man
2)
- ItsaGleeson
and the #1 entry:
1) Caution: Nearing Neverland
- Matt in NC
Photoshop entries
The arrival of the Minutemen has the DOT updating their signs
- The Man
CAUTION: Dead-beat Dads Ahead- The Man
CAUTION: Nearing Neverland - Matt in NC
Caution: Minutemen Working Ahead - RFTR - ItsaGleeson
- ItsaGleeson
CAUTION: Trans-Gender Crossing
- The Man
- WT
Feed The Children
There are probably starving kids in Indiana and leftist nutjobs are tossing pies and salad dressing. Recently Ann Coulter, William Kristol, and now David Horowitz (above) have been assaulted by pies; Pat Buchanan was hit with salad dressing. In the same time period zero right-leaning activists have wasted food in such a manner.
Would the left be outraged if it were midgets they were tossing at conservative speakers instead?
Pat Buchanan - Salad DressingWho is working security at these events? In the future, if you see a college student at an event with a pie, odds are they did not win it in a raffle. As for the leftist First Amendment-suppressers; get a diabetes test or your sugar tooth under control. In the future I expect to see granola bars and tofu being tossed. There are way too many carbs in pie.
William Kristol - Ice Cream Pie
Ann Coulter - Pie
David Horowitz - Chocolate Cream Pie
More Creme Filled Links
Jawa
Malkin
Phin is clowning around
Urban Grounds
Pete The Elder
Thursday, April 07, 2005
Kerry's Wounded Knee
John Kerry, (who once spent 4 months in Vietnam and Christmas in Cambodia) recently underwent knee surgery. Kerry will be off his feet for weeks, which is more time than he spent recovering from all three of his purple hearts.
The best line of the day....
Kerry ran unsuccessfully for president in 2004.
Other Links
Wizbang
Slant Point
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
What about James Otis Stadium?
A bipartisan group wants to name RFK Stadium in our nation's capital, "Taxation Without Representation Field at RFK Stadium". The group would like to fill the corporate sponsorship void at the stadium and have petitioned the DC Sports and Entertainment Commission, stating that they initially raised $51.08 but have a goal of $50,000 in return for the naming rights (they are now at $20,800).
Click Here for the group's website
The group wants to call to people's attention that the citizens of DC have no congressional or Senate seat, therefore "no representation". Which begs me to ask, what was Senator Jesse Jackson doing from 1991-1996? I guess you can call that a "demonstration of representation". Washington DC can do better.
As far as I know, the newly approved West Side Stadium in New York has not been named. Let me be the first to propose "Too Much Taxation Stadium". Does anyone have any other ideas?
Other Links
Who is James Otis?
TWR Blog
Jack Bauer's Backup: Voted Worst Job at CTU
Here is some free advice for any upcoming actor out there. If your agent lands a role for you on the show 24, as Jack Bauer's "backup", it will probably not turn out to be your big break. Your scene will last 5-10 minutes, Jack will leave you alone and then you will then get killed (shot, stabbed, or blown up). Jack will then pick up a cell phone and start yelling into the phone.
Not since Quantum Leap has there been such a lackluster acting gig, back then it was the reflection in a mirror or window of whomever Scott Bkaula's character time-leaped into that episode. Before that it was the random red-shirted Ensign who would beam down for a one-way trip with the Star Trek regulars.
One last thought. Would any 24 fans tell me what kind of phone they are using? Those phones must have a nuclear battery or something, because they are talking on the phones for 30 minutes each hour-long episode. My phone goes dead if I get a voicemail and do not check withing 15 minutes.
"I will need some random backup agent from the hours of 11:00 and 12:00"
Monday, April 04, 2005
Asinine Headline of the Day
Midstate Catholics want successor to have love for peopleAs a new Catholic, I would also like a pope who likes people.
The Tennessean
Caption Clinton Contest
Caption Clinton 
Top 10 Entries
10) "Now folks, don't jump to any conclusions..." - Brian
9) "You're doing invaluable work, with limited resources. Can I have my five thousand bucks now?" - ItsaGleeson
8) Now, you see this little bad boy on my hand, that was how Hillary found out about the interns. - GOP and College
7) "I'll need a volunteer from the audience. Anyone?" - ItsaGleeson
6) Clinton spoke at the 2005 NAFI meeting pro-bono
- The Man
5) DNA: It's what's for dinner. - Spacemonkey
4) Maybe someone should start a foundation against infectious diseases! - ItsaGleeson
3) Yes, my clone will be running for President in 2008...and I don't mean Hillary, no more questions please.
(click for a larger view) - The Man
2) 
(click for a larger view) - Sobek
and the #1 entry:
1) "I've got this huge boil on my ass I can't ever seem to get rid of. Most people refer to it as 'Senator Clinton.'" - IFOC
Photoshop Entries
Clinton spoke at the 2005 NAFI meeting pro-bono. - The Man
- Sobek- Sobek
Yes, my clone will be running for President in 2008...and I don't mean Hillary, no more questions please.
- The Man
Previous Caption Contests
How Did I Get Here Contest
Giuliana Sgrena Photoshop Contest
Caption Dean
Caption Captain Carter
Top 10 Saudi Valentines
Caption the Moment
The Ex-Presidents Caption Contest
Konfirmation Kaption Kontest
Here's Your Sign Caption Contest
Caption Hill-n-Bill
Chappaquiddick Caption Contest
The People's Choice
Caption Kerry
Dirty Dog Caption Contest
Holiday Caption Contest
Saddam -a- GoGo
Caption Hillary - Part 1
Saturday, April 02, 2005
Democratic Underground
I had to check and see what was going on over at the Democratic Underground website in the wake of the Pope's death. It seems as the majority of posts are well wishes for the Pope and his legacy. I could tell the moderators were very busy removing some posts. They had not got to this one as I visited the site.
Fishing for an absurd comment at DU is easier than making Mac and Cheese.
(click for a larger view)
(leader of the mega-cult is finally dead. RIP who's next? n/t)
Friday, April 01, 2005
Blog War II
Update: BW2 is over already. Damn, the guys moved to this site. The war lasted from 9pm Thursday night and ended at 11:29am Friday morning. France took longer to fall.
The Basil Revolution beat out Sortapundit in The Great Blog War of March. With his abdication, Sorta has himself joined Basil's Blog Warriors. Now comes word of the next great Blog War!
Just as we signed the papers, a new threat has arisen...Sortapundit. Not the original crumpet muncher, but one from blogspot. Someone is squatting on one of our allies, and that don't fly around the Basil HQ. The original Sortapundit took it in stride:
Not one to leave things alone; Basil is preparing for war against Sortapundit. With Sortapundit at our side, we will defeat the carpet munchers at the other Sortapundit. I have fired off a salvo with a comment on their site:I'm not quite sure what to do about this one? Is the name Sortapundit my intellectual property? Am I covered by copyright laws? I've been using it for over a year now, so surely I've got some sort of claim on it.
Anyway, I'm gonna leave it for the time being, and hope this guy just gives up after a few weeks. If he gets an Instalanche before me, though, there's gonna be blood.
Hey guys, I think drudgereport.blogspot.com is still open.
Stay Tuned for more from Sortapundit 2.
John Kerry Signs Form 180
Today a spokesperson for John Kerry (who once spent 4 months in Vietnam and Christmas in Cambodia) announced that he will finally sign form SF-180, releasing his whole military record.
This was something he promised to do 61 days ago. To read the whole press release, click here.
Also check out the Weekend Caption Clinton Contest
Obligatory: Welcome ABP, Polipundit, and Slate readers.
Update: a reader at Roger L. Simon forgot what day it is.
Update: Even the UK is getting in the spirit.
While you are here, check out my series You are so Liberal if: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7
Other links
Slant Point gets blog-taxed
Linked on the OTB Traffic Jam
Mark Kilmer gets his wife
Blogs for Bush has been lost to the dark side
Phin has nothing
SaraK announces IMAO's sale to Korea
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