Wednesday, December 14, 2005

New Precision Guided Humor Assignment: Honing the Patriot Act

If you were a US Congressman, what provisions would you add to the Patriot Act?

If I were a US Congressman, after I moved to rename a few buildings in my honor, I'd rename The Patriot Act. I would need to rename the Patriot act as to not have people confuse it with my own Patriots Act (HR - 1856 - SAE).

The Patriots Act will have the NFL move the New England Patriots from the AFC East to the NFC East. This will ensure that the NY Jets (who are in the AFC East) will not have to play (and lose) to the Patriots twice a season.

This will also move Donovan McNabb to our division so Jonathan Vilma can make him cry twice a year. Better eat your chunky soup you overrated hack. How are you going to update when you're eating liquids through a straw?