Wednesday, December 07, 2005

New Precision Guided Humor Assignment: A Cloud For Your Silver Lining

1) Find actual good news in the War on Terror
2) put anti-war spin on it to make it sound like bad news.

Marine Times (good news): Hamza Rabia was Al-Qaeda's #3 man. He was in charge of the group's foreign operations until he ended up on the wrong end of a US Hellfire missile fired from a Predator drone.

Al Jazeera:
Al-Qaeda recently announced a restructuring in its global hierarchy. Abu Al-Santana, who until recently was ranked #4 has been promoted to #3 and is now in charge of foreign operations. Al-Santana had been in charge of Al-Qaeda's Myspace page and global bioterror operations.

BBC:
Yet another peace-loving civilian has been killed by the US Military. Hamza Rabia was killed when a missile was fired into the home he was staying in.

CNN:
Asked about the accuracy of the reports of Rabia's death, Pakistani President Musharraf stated that he was "200% confirmed" that Rabia was killed, which means that Musharraf has taken mathematics lessons from President Bush. CNN has confirmed that Bush is 100% a moron.

New York Times:
President Bush's approval ratings did not show any signs of improving following the killing of a low-level Al-Qaeda operative.

Newsday:
Congressman Murtha (D-PA) stated today that the killing of Hamza Rabia by using a Hellfire missile is another sign that the military is weak and forced to rely on drones.

GOP and the City:
The CIA reports that Hamza Rabia had blue eyes...one blew there...one blew there. Rabia may have had dandruff since his Head-and-Shoulders could not be found.

Previous Assignments
My Pet Moonbat
MSM Patriots
Vive Sox Blanc!
Anti-War Rally Gear
Who Let the Dog Out?
Why is Katrina Bush's fault?
Who would you speak to?
Top 10 Potential Pirro Slogans
Top 10 signs your co-worker is a terrorist
Top 10 signs the terrorists are losing
Dancing with the detainees
Iraqi bumper stickers
Top 10 reasons DRNK is grumpy