Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Precision Guided Humor Assignment

A Precision Guided Humor Assignment
What are the root causes of all the rioting in France?

I find it strange that the media are refusing to report on the true origins of riots which are occuring all across France? They hide the facts that lie in the unrest that's been brewing for years. The reports have chosen to call the rioters "disaffected youth" and not their real description, "fanatical Chicago White Sox fans".

Let the kids go and riot. Afterall, they are just following an American sporting tradition. You know; when your team wins run out and tear/burn/blow things up. We can only wait until February, when pitchers and catchers report for Spring Training, for the fans to turn their attention to something other than burning Paris. Until then, Vive Sox Blanc!

Riot Timeline (via Yahoo)
October 26 - Chicago White Sox win the World Series for the first time since 1917.
October 27 - Hundreds of youths riot, setting fire to cars and shops in the Paris suburb of lichy-sous-Bois.
October 28 - Riots escalate with assailants firing on a police vehicle in Clichy-sous-Bois.

October 30 - White Sox Hall-of-Famer Al Lopez, dies at the age of 97.
October 31 — Unrest spreads to at least nine Paris suburbs, with youths lobbing gasoline bombs at cars, shops and municipal buildings.
November 4 - White Sox buy out the contract of Frank Thomas, making him a free-agent.
November 5 - On 10th night, violence intensifies, entering central Paris for first time.
November 7 - White Sox Rookie Tadahito Iguchi finishes 4th in AL Rookie of the Year voting.
November 8 - Chirac declares a state of emergency that paves the way for curfews in riot-hit cities.
November 9 - White Sox manager, Ozzie Guillen named AL Manager of the Year.

Previous Humor Assignments
Anti-War Rally Gear
Who Let the Dog Out?
Why is Katrina Bush's fault?
Who would you speak to?
Top 10 Potential Pirro Slogans
Top 10 signs your co-worker is a terrorist
Top 10 signs the terrorists are losing
Dancing with the detainees
Iraqi bumper stickers
Top 10 reasons DRNK is grumpy