Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Precision Guided Humor Assignment

What famous person/people would you demand to speak to, and what would you say to him/her/them?

As the union representative for CTU Random Backup Agents 403, I demand to speak to agent Jack Bauer.

Jack, are you aware that CTU has a yearly award for "Worst Job at CTU"? Did you know that over the past 4 years at CTU "Jack Bauer's Backup" has been voted as the worst job at CTU? This year "Mole" came in third, second place went to "Edgar's Masseuse", once again we came out on top for crappiest job at CTU. It's a good thing that you're in Mexico this year; otherwise we would have to watch more of our backup agents get killed. Personally, I hope you stay there so that our job will not be rated as the worst at CTU for yet another year.

The job is getting so bad; CTU is looking to outsource us to India next year. But, I hear Varun actually lays down cover fire for his backup agents.

Another thing Jack, we're sick of your extensive cell phone use. Our union members did without a Christmas bonus last year because your high cell phone bills ate through the budget for bonuses. Peak minutes don't grow on trees; tell ex-President Palmer that you will call him back after 9:00pm.

Oh...thanks for saving the United States all those times.

-The Man
CTU RBA 403 Rep