Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Alliance Humor Assignment

What would we do with the terrorist detainees if Dick Durbin got his wish and we shut down Gitmo?
(An Alliance Assignment

If Dick Durbin gets his wish, Gitmo will be no more. What should we do with the 500 or so terrorist detainees after we strip them of their air-conditioned beach-front resort? What do we do to all losers these days, put them on a reality show.

ABC has "Dancing with the Stars", where celebrities are teamed up with a professional dance partner as they train and then compete in front of a studio audience in a televised dance competition. To avoid claims of copying the Dancing theme, we would outsource the new show. India's Zee-TV has already produced a rip-off of "24" called Time Bomb, why not let them copy this format as well?

Zee-TV's "Dancing with the Detainees" will team up former blood-thirsty terrorists with professional dance partners. The detainees will have to shed some pounds, which they gained while rotting in a Nazi/Soviet/Khmer Rouge gulag. The teams will perform dances such as the ballroom waltz and the foxtrot in front of a live studio audience. Each week viewers have a chance to vote a couple off the show, the couple voted off will be beheaded at the end of the show.

Other Entries
Basil checks with someone who knows a little something about torture, Jack Bauer
Euphoric Reality has a few to choose from
TFS wants to put the detainees on ice

Six Meat Buffet has the solution