Thursday, June 30, 2005

Blogged Off Caption Contest

I'm getting married this weekend and heading to Mexico for my honeymoon. During that time I'll be AWOL, so check back after July 11th.

Winner - Unfortunately, the irony was lost on Mr. Weiner that he was, in fact, the biggest dick New York had to offer. - Damian G

Runner up - Note to self:Find other town than Riverdale to vacation in. - CUG

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League ID#: 62507
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Here are few blog suggestions I recommend:
Slant Point
The Galvin Opinion
The Jesse Factor
Phin's Blog
Armor Geddon
Nashville Truth
Running For the Right
Bronx Pundit
Support Your Local Gunfighter
Kitty Litter
Suitably Flip
Basils Blog

Dean Rakes In the Bucks

A Democratic fund-raiser in South Carolina featuring Howard Dean drew in $5,000 donations over the internet and $15,000 from a $50-a-plate dinner where Dean was supposed to speak. A little rain fell and Howard blew off the event leaving the Democrats apologizing and refunding the money.

The GOP held a counter-rally and raised $22,000 for the local GOP. That is $2,000 more than the Dean rally generated for the Democrats, before they had to refund the donations. The GOP also held a "scream-off", where contestants who were judged on "lack of poise in appearance" and "extent of angry, insane ranting."

"We hope Howard Dean comes back every month" stated Scott Malyerck, executive director of the SC GOP.

Howard Dean may be the best fund raiser the GOP has ever had. Yeaaaaaahhh.

No Postcards from Mexico

We will be in Mexico on our honeymoon this time next week. Looks like we'll need to make sure to check the stamps we buy before sending any postcards home. I am almost feel ashamed for the Mexican people who can see the racism behind this, I pitty the ones who cannot.

Is there anything we can do to while we are down there to show our distain for this? Besides ordering Bud Lite instead of Tecate.

Other Links
Michelle Malkin asks if Mexican racism is ok
Narcissistic views on News/Politics

Blame America First Alert

Nicolai Ouroussoff
-NY Times Architecture Critic on the redesigned Freedom Tower

"Somber, oppressive and clumsily conceived, the project is a monument to a society that has turned its back on any notion of cultural openness. It is exactly the kind of nightmare that government officials repeatedly asserted would never happen here: an impregnable tower braced against the outside world...

What the tower evokes, by comparison, are ancient obelisks, blown up to a preposterous scale and clad in heavy sheaths of reinforced glass - an ideal symbol for an empire enthralled with its own power, and unaware that it is fading..."

I cannot think of anything remotely witty to say about this lump of crap, except that being a "architecture critic" has to be the lowest job in journalism. It must rank just after the guy writing the NYPD Police Log as the lamest journalism career ever. They say that everyone's a critic; I personally think Nicolai Ouroussoff is a prick.

Coming from a critic at The New York Times is interesting; any person can walk the streets of New York and see that we are a country of many faces, religions, accents. This is nothing new as we have been a destination for immigrants from all over the world for hundreds of years. Because of that openness, we were targeted by a fanatical group who see cannot see past the hate and intolerance of one religion, one accent, one face. Because of this group of religious zealots, The United States of America has pulled up its sleeves and with the help of some allies we have taken on the global epidemic that seeks to destroy what they cannot hope to understand.

This tower is a symbol of the resolve and duty that we must and will show. The new design is not an "impregnable tower braced against the outside world", instead it's a symbol of America's resolve and ability to rebuild in the face of a cowardly enemy. No, we are not a fading empire. We are shining brighter everyday so Mr. Ouroussoff, go screw yourself...criticize that.

(hat tip - el Drudgebo)

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Dems Social Insecurity

Florida democrats have found a new way to deal with Social Security. While the national party has decided to just stick their heads in the sand to avoid dealing with the mounting problem, the Florida Democratic Party has just stopped paying their Social Security taxes.

The plan might not work, the IRS slapped a lien on the party last week because they owe $200,000 in back taxes since 2003 and only have $98,000 in the bank.

According to the FDP, the liens have been removed.

You've Got Mail

Just watching the idiots pontificate
-Assemblyman Willis Stephens

New York Assemblyman Willis Stephens, a Republican representing the Westchester area, thought he sent the above note to an aide. Instead it was sent out to 300 constituents he just called "idiots". Oops. Within an hour Stephens sent a follow-up email apologizing for the goof.

Here's Willie's email address, just for fun.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Drunks on Ice

Police showed up at a New Jersey ice rink after reports of a drunken Zamboni operator came in. Callers claimed the machine was "speeding" and almost running into the boards. The police found the Zamboni driver had a blood alcohol level of 0.12. They took away his Zomboni keys and charged him with drunk driving. Only in Jersey.
(Source - NY Daily News)

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A Wedding Top 10

I mentioned yesterday that I'll be getting married over "Independence Day" weekend. Here are a few reasons that I'm looking forward to getting married. Feel free to add your own folksy advice/comments below.

Top 10 Reasons The Man Is Looking Forward to Marriage
10. All the free stuff
9. Tax benefits
8. Knowing that I now own half of everything I used to own
7. Being able to dispense wedding advice to soon-to-be grooms like "run" and "don't do it"
6. Seeing the "joint" checking account now funds her Gap and Express shopping sprees
5. Finding out that the "marriage penalty" exists only in the bedroom
4. Don't have to say "fiancé" any more; it's so French
3. uuummmm cake
2. In 10 years we may eat off the china we registered for
and the #1 reason:
1. No more wedding planning, ever

Feel free to add your own additions in the comments below or
email me.

Monday, June 27, 2005

The Man

Click Here to find out who "The Man" really is. Also, remember to delete the video and pictures you take with the store cameras at Best Buy.

Ronald Reagan: Greatest American

America has spoken (3 votes at a time) and named Ronald Reagan the Greatest American in the show put on by The Discovery Channel. The show listed the Top 100 and worked down from there, sadly Michael Moore did not make the top 25.

Top 10 Greatest Americans
1. Ronald Reagan
2. Abe Lincoln
3. Martin Luther King Jr.
4. George Washington
5. Ben Franklin
6. George W. Bush
7. Bill Clinton
8. Elvis
9. Oprah Winfrey
10. FDR

Some notables that not make the Top 25, but should have: Theodore Roosevelt, Thomas Edison, Dwight Eisenhower, Alexander Graham Bell, George Washington Carver, and Patton. Are there any you think should have made the Top 100? Top 25?

Independence Day

Blogging will be light the next two weeks because I'm getting married this weekend and heading to Mexico for my honeymoon next week.

Is it ironic that I'm getting married on a weekend when we all should be celebrating our independence?
I was going to send an invite to the White House, but they want you to send the invite weeks after the event. The Republicans will not stop burning up my phones for donations, but I cannot send an invitation to the President until after my wedding.

My fiancé and her family like to prod me on my support for President Bush. Last year, one of her brothers obtained his his Eagle Scout and we sent invitations to the ceremony to everyone from Hillary Clinton to The Olsen Twins. Hillary's office wrote back, Cheney's office wrote back, Bush did not. This was not overlooked by my future in-laws, so I sent an email showing my support to the president and mentioning the $50 donation I had given to his reelection efforts. In another correspondence I even mentioned that Hillary had sent something, still nothing. Thanks for letting me down W.

In other wedding news, a man in Southern California rode a bike to Pennsylvania to attend his niece's wedding. That is 71 days and 4,250 miles to attend a wedding...on a bike.

Bloomberg Has Friends In Low Places

Another sign of the Democratic collapse includes the lack of any strong candidate for mayor of The Big Apple. Mayor Bloomberg is currently trouncing all the democratic candidates at the polls and currently has his highest approval rating in 3 years. As if the democrats in New York needed any more bad news; there's word of a secret meeting of the top Democratic fund-raisers in the city meeting with Mayor Mike instead of the Democrats.

Word of a top-secret meeting with Bloomberg and a group of top Dem money men had the democratic mayoral hopefuls calling for Howard Dean to do something, anything. Dean's response came Friday when he released a statement that failed to mention the Bloomberg meeting but included, "After all, New Yorkers do not need a mayor who worked to reelect George W. Bush." With strong leadership like that, you can expect to see the "blue" money to start flowing "red" this election cycle.

(Source - NY Daily News)

Email me or leave a comment below to join Blogs for Bloomberg

Friday, June 24, 2005

Weekend Caption Contest

Weekend Caption Contest
I will be blogging-off early this week. I'm headed to my bachelor party in Atlantic City. Wish me luck, I need it.

Winner - "Dagnabbit,. . . Etta, Have you seen my glasses!" - Rodney Dill

Runner Up - "UH-OH!!!"Grampa Simpson soon realises that he is not, in fact, sitting on an apple pie... - Damian G

Honorable Mention - "Where Am I?" - Bronx Pundit
- Ever since Yankee Stadium introduced Ball-Park Veggie Dogs and Soy Jacks George Steinbrenner never looked the same... - Slant Point

Previous Contests
Wash Out
A Nice Piece of Pachyderm
Lady and the
Meet the Moron Contest
One Uncomfortable Moment
Caption The Irrelevancy
Tuesdays With Kim
Caption Bush
John Kerry Is...
Caption Clinton

Party of Tolerance Update

A field of six democratic candidates are looking to replace the retiring Rep. Major Owens (D) in New York's 11th District. Rep. Owens claims that the lone caucasian in the race, candidate City Councilman David Yassky, is nothing but a "colonizer" and accused him of disrespecting the legacy of the district, since the district was created to provide minority voters representation. Owens remarked on Yassky, "...he wants to be a colonizer, to make the 11th District his colony."

Owens bigotry was just getting started, he added the following gem, "What is colonization all about? Superior powers going in and taking advantage," Owens said. "Anyone who thinks they can buy this district is my enemy." Mr. Yassky replied, "I plan to run on my record and my ideas for making the Congress deliver better results for Brooklyn..."

Owens claims a district that's 60% black cannot be represented by someone who is not black, an insult to his district and to any non-black candidates alike. His comments are divisive and shows that racism is truly colorblind.

(Source - NY Daily News)

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Kerry To Run Again In 18,000 Years

"As we head into the 20005 and 2006 elections...."

Click Here for full screen shot

John Kerry is looking ahead, way ahead....18,000 years (6,570,000 days) to be exact. According to, Mr. Kerry is ready to head into the 20005 elections. We are sure that he will not spend all that time making Ohio voters feel good about voting. What will he do with the rest of his time?

Top 10 Things John Kerry Will Do Until 20005
10. Secretly vote for Condi in 2012
9. See the Mets win another World Series (this is purely speculative)
8. Find a richer, hotter sugar momma
7. Do a little deer hunting on Cape Cod with his lucky hat
6. Lots and lots of Botox
5. Count every vote from the 2004 election; only to find out he lost by a larger margin
4. Head back to Yale to raise his sub-Bush grades
3. Run the Boston Marathon...again
2. Thaw out former Red Sox great Ted Williams every 86 years (that's 209 Red Sox pennants)
1. Release his SF-180 forms, again

Got some more ideas on how Kerry can spend the next 6.5 million days? Post comments below or email me.

(shameless plugs on OTB and jawa)

Other entries:
-Wax nostalgically about the US Social Security system that went belly-up 17,813 years ago.
-Announce his marriage to Bill Gates' great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great...gajillionaire granddaughter
-Make a diplomatic trip to the Islamic Republic of France
-Assert that the recent invasion of aliens from the planet Zargon is "Bush's fault."
-To make his flip-flopping more easy to do; he will be debated at every campaign stop by his holographic double.
-I'm thinking he'll find some way to trick the Pentagon into giving him a few more purple hearts by then, too.
-And don't forget he has to plan that 20005 campaign... I'm thinking it'll revolve around his Vietnam service...

Flashback - October 5, 2004
Kerry was preparing for his 20005 run, when he claimed that he could pass a "test of legitimacy" outside the confines of Earth in October of 2004. Such issues like inter-planetary relations will be key to choosing a leader in 18,000 years.

"But I can do a better job of protecting America's security because the test that I was talking about was a test of legitimacy, not just in the globe, but elsewhere" - John Kerry

Dems Finally Show Outrage Over Something

"Conservatives saw the savagery of 9/11 in the attacks and prepared for war; liberals saw the savagery of the 9/11 attacks and wanted to prepare indictments and offer therapy and understanding for our attackers." - Karl Rove

A little over a week after one of their own compared our troops to Nazis, Soviets, and Pol Pot. Two weeks after one of their own claimed the liberation of Iraq was as bad as the Holocaust. Three weeks after the DNC leader stated that Republicans have never made an honest living. Now the dems finally show some backbone and get outraged at someone's comments. The Democrats, after becoming nothing more than a mouthpiece for Al-Jazeera, are just a day late and dollar short.

Democrat leader, Harry Reid wants Rove to either apologize or resign because of these comments. The same Harry Reid called our President a "loser" to a bunch of High School kids as Bush was overseas preparing to meet with European leaders. Howard Dean called the remarks "divisive and damaging", which is akin to having the pot call the kettle "black".

As the great Karl Rove put it: "No more needs to be said about the motives of liberals"

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Burn Em If You Got Em

A constitutional amendment that would give Congress the power to ban desecration of the American Flag passed the House earlier today. The Senate, where previous anti-desecration bills have died, will take up the measure after the 4th of July holiday.

Look, desecration of the flag is bad...getting Congress involved is worse. Anyway, with all the bile being thrown around the Senate, this admendment will be DOA.

As Outside the Belway puts it:

While I have nothing but contempt for Americans who show their displeasure with U.S. public policy by burning the American flag, amending the Constitution to prohibit this activity is absurd. It's a cheap political stunt but one that does nothing to make the country stronger or safer. If enacted, however, it would make it slightly less free.

Republican Democrat
Yea 209 12
Nea 77 117

Step 1: Admit You Have a Problem

Top 10 Signs You May Have a Drinking Problem
10. You decide it would be a good idea to steal a plane and fly it from Connecticut to White Plains, NY even though you are not a pilot.
9. You are one of the 2 passengers on the plane.

(Source - WABC)
Linked on OTB

AM NewYork Gitmo Poll

Update: Final results (66% Support Gitmo)

AM New York has a Gitmo Poll on their website. Go ahead, make my Thursday morning. I would love to open up tomorrow's edition to see that a majority want Gitmo to stay open. So make like a Democrat and vote often.

(Noon) - (1pm) - (2pm) - (3pm)
- (4pm)

Have We Met?

The Yankees scored 13 runs in the 8th inning last night to come back and beat Tampa Bay 20 to 11. The $200,000,000 Yankees are now 5 games back of 1st place and have won 8 of their last 10.

Yankee Caption Contest
over at SlantPoint

Bottom 8th: NY Yankees
- R. Cano singled to center
- D. Jeter singled to right, R. Cano to third
- R. Sierra hit for T. Womack
- R. Sierra grounded out to second, R. Cano scored, D. Jeter to second
- G. Sheffield singled to left center, D. Jeter to third
- A. Rodriguez singled to left, D. Jeter scored, G. Sheffield to second
- H. Matsui doubled to deep right, G. Sheffield scored, A. Rodriguez to third
- J. Giambi intentionally walked
- R. Johnson ran for J. Giambi
- B. Williams tripled to deep center, A. Rodriguez, H. Matsui and R. Johnson scored
- J. Posada homered to deep right, B. Williams scored
- R. Cano flied out to deep center
- D. Jeter singled to second
- R. Sierra singled to right, D. Jeter to third
- G. Sheffield homered to deep left, D. Jeter and R. Sierra scored
- A. Rodriguez homered to deep right
- H. Matsui homered to deep center
- R. Johnson flied out to right
13 runs, 12 hits, 0 errors

Gothamist has great coverage of the comeback.

Bloomberg Extends Lead

Email me or leave a comment below to join Blogs for Bloomberg

The Quinnipiac University Poll released today, shows that Mayor Mike has pulled to a 50 to 37 lead over Democratic front-runner Fernando "Flip-Flop" Ferrer. This lead is up from May 11th when Bloomberg lead Ferrer 47 to 38. Mayor Mike's approval rating surged to 55%; a 17% jump from his May 11th 47% rating. Anyone living in the New York area can tell why, Bloomberg has put out some great political ads, he's sparing no expense. The Gothamist notes the ad blitz.

The poll also had Bloomberg with sizable leads over all the other Democratic challengers: Virginia Fields, Gifford Miller, and Anthony Weiner.

Bloomberg - 50
Ferrer - 37

Bloomberg - 49
Fields - 34

Bloomberg - 49
Miller - 33

Bloomberg - 51
Weiner - 30

(Source - NY Daily News)

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Durbin Apologizes

Still a Dick

Why apologize so late in the afternoon? It misses the 6pm news cycle, may not make it into the Wednesday papers and by Thursday it's old news.

WASHINGTON - An emotional U.S. Sen. Dick Durbin apologizes for his remarks comparing the actions of American interrogators at Guantanamo Bay to Nazis, Soviet gulags and Khmer Rouge leader Pol Pot.
Gag me with a freaking spoon. On the bright side, add Durbin's head on the wall of victories for the right side of the blogmob.

Click Here for the full text.

"Apology not accepted? I can't Gitmo satisfaction." - Rodney Dill

Other Links
Views from the DU
Views from the FR
See the video here
Jawa accepts
The Nose On Your Face drags Dr. Suess into the fray
Dread Pundit Bluto has the interrogation log
OTB Mark In Mexico Myopic Zeal Strata-Sphere Galvin Just One Minute Malkin Assumption of Command Conservative Man Bright and Early Macsmind California Conservative Hyscience IowaVoice

I Heart Gitmo

Click on the image above to order your own I heart Gitmo sticker.

Alliance Humor Assignment

What would we do with the terrorist detainees if Dick Durbin got his wish and we shut down Gitmo?
(An Alliance Assignment

If Dick Durbin gets his wish, Gitmo will be no more. What should we do with the 500 or so terrorist detainees after we strip them of their air-conditioned beach-front resort? What do we do to all losers these days, put them on a reality show.

ABC has "Dancing with the Stars", where celebrities are teamed up with a professional dance partner as they train and then compete in front of a studio audience in a televised dance competition. To avoid claims of copying the Dancing theme, we would outsource the new show. India's Zee-TV has already produced a rip-off of "24" called Time Bomb, why not let them copy this format as well?

Zee-TV's "Dancing with the Detainees" will team up former blood-thirsty terrorists with professional dance partners. The detainees will have to shed some pounds, which they gained while rotting in a Nazi/Soviet/Khmer Rouge gulag. The teams will perform dances such as the ballroom waltz and the foxtrot in front of a live studio audience. Each week viewers have a chance to vote a couple off the show, the couple voted off will be beheaded at the end of the show.

Other Entries
Basil checks with someone who knows a little something about torture, Jack Bauer
Euphoric Reality has a few to choose from
TFS wants to put the detainees on ice

Six Meat Buffet has the solution

Bonfire Of The Vanities - 103rd Edition

The 103rd Bonfire of the Vanities is up at Itsapundit. The group-bloggers at Itsapundit shows what happens when you put a gaggle of bloggers in a room with puppies and matches. Here is my lame addition to the mix.

Monday, June 20, 2005

Fired For Being French

Three workers were allegedly fired from New York's renowned 21 Club for being French. But, contrary to French tradition; they are not giving up without a fight.

The lawsuit claims that in 2004 and 2005 the club started to weed out the older employees who happen to be French. The club claims two were fired for drinking on the job, the other for gross insubordination after an argument over a hamburger. The suit also claims that management taunted one employee's French accent and referred to France in derogatory terms.

The three are suing for $300,000 for wages an interest and $5,000,000 for punitive damages.

The 21 Club has tables set aside for celebrity regulars. It looks like they plan ahead; Table 31 is for members of the Kennedy family and is directly in front of the bar.

(Source - NY Daily News)

Saddam Gets 2 Scoops

The latest edition of GQ magazine details Saddam's favorite breakfast meal, Raisin Bran. Saddam does not like Fruit Loops and thinks that Bill Clinton is "ok".

Saddam will not eat Lucky Charms because he hates the Irish.

(Source - NY Daily News)

This Post Bombs

Well, I was going to head outside for lunch...Then this quiz which state I have a 67% chance of dying from a bombing. I will eat my lunch under my desk today. On a positive note, at least I'll be going out with a bang.

I think this quiz is full of it, since it states I have a 60% chance of drowning. I was a swimmer and a lifeguard throughout high school and into college. But I am going to Mexico on my honeymoon in 2 weeks...

You scored as Bomb. Your death will be by bombing. You will probably be an innocent bystander, not doing anything wrong and not a person who was targeted at, just in the wrong place at the wrong time.





















Natural Causes


Cut Throat




How Will You Die??
created with

You want beat the odds in New York City? I have displayed the top 3 dangers to a New York citizen (me) and the best ways to avoid them.

Bombing - Avoid the subways, crowded street corners, busses, Penn Station, Grand Central, Times Square, Empire State, Financial District, Central Park, Ferries, Yankee Stadium, MSG, and any other area in NYC where there are crowds. Your best bet may be to hide out in the NYC City Council Republican Caucus offices, they are pretty empty.
Drowning -
Do not swim in the Hudson or East Rivers, drowning is the least of your worries.
Poison -
Stay clear of the "dirty dogs" and mystery meat vendors.

(Hat Tip - BlogMeister)

Fox Outsources "24" To India

Fox has unleashed it's lawyers on a company in India for trying to steal stealing the real time plot of 24. Fox claims that Zee-TV's show, Time Bomb, is a copy their own hit show, 24. Zee-TV lawyers shot back, stating that nobody could monopolize the concept of terrorism. I think we now have a glimpse of the new plot behind Jack Bauer and CTU for season 5, Indian show-pirates.

The first episode of Time Bomb, which even uses the "real-time" format as 24, airs tonight. The show even has 24 episodes, with each episode covering one hour of the day. Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation filed a suit in the Delhi High Court, but after watching 2 hours of 24, Justice Anil Kumar ruled that Time Bomb was an original concept. Kudos to the Zee-TV execs on one aspect of the show, Time Bomb keeps the muslim terrorism theme and even includes Osama.

Kumar was unswayed by the evidence that the lead character in Time Bomb, Varun Avasthi was given the same superhuman speed that Jack Bauer has. Varun has the ability to change out of his sherwani, and drive the ACT van across New Delhi in less than 5 minutes. Other similarities involve the random deaths of ACT backup agents sent to aid Varun and the obsessive use of torture throughout the show.

Zee-TV should also be free to produce a TV show based on a group of friends who live in a hip section of New Delhi. One works in a coffee shop, one is a Bollywood actor, another works in a museum, and one works at job where no one knows what he does. The group spends their time talking about dating, work, and a naked man who lives across the way.

Sean Hannity is a member of the Time Bomb cast?

Time Bomb is an international political thriller of global terror with its epicenter in South Asia. Our protagonist Varun is a special agent of an exclusive, secret, multi-disciplinary intelligence agency created under the PMO to deal with terrorism and related matters known to the very few as - A.C.T. – Agency to Counter Terrorism
24 is an international thriller of global terror with its epicenter in America. The protagaonist Jack Bauer is a special agent of agent of an exclusive, secret, multi-disciplinary intelligence agency under the PMO to deal with terrorism and related matters known to the very few as C.T.U - Counter Terrorism Unit.

The security agencies have to protect the Prime minister of India from the unknown assassins, simultaneously they have to try and stop the terrorists from carrying out their plans to destabilize the world. Varun soon realizes that the plot to assassinate the Prime Minister is only a distraction ploy to keep the intelligence agencies busy. He realizes that the actual plan of the terrorist was to simultaneously explode nuclear devices in Washington, London, Tel-Aviv and New Delhi. - Plot of Time Bomb

Give me a break; this is a total rip-off of 24. The station is nice enough to have a "Post your views" section on the Time Bomb website. I took the liberty to send Zee-TV some suggestions, go ahead and send them your 24-related comments. Please post yours to the comments section below or email me.

(linked on OTB)

Friday, June 17, 2005

Another Helicopter Down

Another helicopter has gone down in the East River. This is the second helicopter in four days to land in the water. Early indications are that everyone made it out ok, even though the chopper sank in less than a minute.
(Source WABC)

Weekend Caption Contest

Wash Out Caption Contest

This contest is dedicated to the bloggers at Sound Politics who fought hard for all living and legal voters in Washington State.

Winner - "If all we needed was this G-- D--- humongous certificate, why didn't we just print it out months ago." - Rodney Dill

Runner up - DURKAN: So, I sold my soul to be governor of THIS state? SPEIDEL: Don't worry, it'll be a dry heat! BURMAN: DAMN YOU, SATAN!!! McDONALD: The joke's on the Prince of Darkness. Nobody in this room has a soul. Tee hee hee! - Shawn

Honorable Mention - - The Man

Photoshop Entries
- The Man
- The Man

Previous Contests
A Nice Piece of Pachyderm
Lady and the Vamp
Meet the Moron Contest
One Uncomfortable Moment
Caption The Irrelevancy
Tuesdays With Kim
Caption Bush
John Kerry Is...
Caption Clinton

A Penny For Your Thoughts, A Dollar For Your Vote

"Anyone want free money?" - alleged campaign worker

A campaign worker for Democratic candidate Jack Lester offered up a great deal to pedestrians outside Bellevue Hospital. The worker gave $1.00 to anybody who would sign a petition for City Council candidate Jack Lester in his run for an East Side City council. Along with the dollar, at least 25 people were also handed Lester campaign literature during the 45 minutes the Post reporter watched.

When asked, Lester claimed the campaign worker was not his, "It's outrageous. I want to wring the guy's neck" he fumed. His campaign manager told the NY Post they pay $10 an hour to canvassers, which would make this kid the dumbest employee ever and thinks this smells of a political dirty trick.

(Source - NY Post)

Indian Uprising on Long Island, Cont.

NY Post cartoonist Sean Delonas takes on The Shinnecock Indians and their corporate-backed land grab.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

PETA In The Dumps

PETA workers Andrew B. Cook, 24 and Adria J. Hinkle, 27 were arrested on animal cruelty charges in North Carolina after police watched the two dump dead animals into a dumpster behind a grocery store. Part of an ongoing investigation, officers also found 13 animal carcasses in a van registered with PETA. In the van, police also found a "death kit" which included syringes as well as two drugs that only licensed veterinarians can have.

One vicitm of PETA, a 6-month old mutt was found to be healthy, except for the needle mark on its front right leg.

Cook and Hinkle face 31 felony counts of animal cruelty and eight misdemeanor counts of illegal disposal of dead animals. The dead animals had been "rescued" from shelters by the animal rights organization. Something tells me the animals had a better shot in the shelters than in a dumpster behind a grocery store.

“We are appalled if this actually happened,” - Ingrid Newkirk, PETA President

(Source - Virginian-Pilot)

Other Links
PETA Kills Animals
BlogMeister checks in

Nazis In The News

This weeks Democratic use of "Nazi" comes from the Dems #2 man in the Senate, Dick Durbin. Last week Charlie Rangel issued a statement that freeing millions of Iraqis was somehow worse than the Holocaust. Not to be out-nazied, Durbin also compared our troops to Pol Pot and the Soviet gulags, which equaled our treatment of terrorists to the killing of tens of millions of people. Next week, expect a democrat to issue a statement that our troops are worse than the Bubonic Plague.

"If I read this to you and did not tell you that it was an FBI agent describing what Americans had done to prisoners in their control, you would most certainly believe this must have been done by Nazis, Soviets in their gulags, or some mad regime--Pol Pot or others--that had no concern for human beings. Sadly, that is not the case. This was the action of Americans in the treatment of their prisoners." - Dick

In other Nazi News, a store in the Village came under fire for displaying nazi dolls which were not made up to look like President Bush. This was clearly a marketing mistake made by the store. If the dolls had been made up to look like a Nazi-Bush, no one would have complained and the dolls would have sold out. Michelle Malkin notes the MSM response.

Indian Uprising on Long Island


The Shinnecock Indians want their land back, which they claim New York stole from them in 1859. The tribe would like to place a casino on the reclaimed property, an area of the Hamptons which is now home to a university, two golf courses, and million dollar homes.

All the tribe is asking for is 3,600 acres of land, $1.7 billion, 150 years of past rent, and compensatory damages. The Shinnecock also announced that this lawsuit is only the beginning; they plan on filing another lawsuit for even more land they claim was stolen from them. Big Chief Pataki announced that no current property owner will be put in jeopardy. New York Blogger, Suitably Flip notes the corporate interest behind the "land grab".

There has been no word from the lawyers representing the Lenape Indians, who sold Manhattan to the Dutch for $24 worth of trinkets in 1624.

(Source - WABC)

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Worst Pickup Line, Ever

KEENE, N.H. -- A door-to-door meat salesman from Maine is accused of assaulting a potential customer after she turned down his offer of chicken in exchange for sex

She must not like Chicken. I do not know what is more disturbing, that the guy offered chicken for sex or there are such things as "door-to-door meat salesmen".

Update: This guy, Ryan Park, is a moron. First he tries to barter chicken for sex, the woman ended up giving him money to leave. The woman's husband comes home, so the chicken-pimp comes back to sell meat to the husband.

“He’s very popular with the women.” - Ryan Park's mother

(Source - Drudge)

Not a Groundhogs Day

Two New Jersey teens face animal cruelty charges and up to 6 months in jail for viciously attacking a pair of groundhogs.

Christopher Welch, 18 and a 17 year-old accomplice shot and killed a young groundhog with a paintball gun. The two were just getting started as they struck the mother groundhog with a board, trapped it in a net, and set it on fire with gasoline while it was still alive. I have said it before, you gotta love Jersey.

No word yet if the boys were taking revenge for the groundhog's dire prediction of 6 more weeks of winter earlier this year.

(Source - NY Daily News)

New York Stadium Shuffle

The New York Yankees have announced plans to tear down the most historic baseball park ever built, in order to build an new $800 million stadium designed to look a historic baseball park, with luxury boxes, more retail stands, and fewer seats. The new Yankee Stadium will be ready for the 2009 season. While the team will foot the bill for the new digs, the city and state will kick in $300 million to improve the area around the park.

Always looking to out-do the Mets, the new Yankee stadium will cost $200,000,000 more and receive $140,000,000 more city and state money than the proposed Olympic/Mets stadium in Queens.

In the meantime, The New Jersey Nets are moving to a new stadium in Brooklyn in 2008. This leaves the New York Jets and Giants deserted in a swamp in New Jersey. The losers in all of this are the Jets. They went from moving into a West Side Stadium in Manhattan to remaining in Giants Stadium in New Jersey in a matter of a week. They are a homeless team in the sports capital of the world.

Why not make the new Met stadium a dual-sport park with the Mets and Jets playing there, you could even call it "et stadium"? Why bother labeling the stranded football teams with "New York" anymore? Let Jersey have them because there is officially no place to put them in New York. No politician would ever risk the capital that Bloomberg spent to get a Manhattan stadium built. The Jets and Giants should now be the New Jersey Jets and New Jersey Giants to save confusion and to finally give Jersey something to be proud of. "Go youse guys"!

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

How Hot Is It

92°F - Feels Like 103°F

It is hotter than a hooker in confession
It is hotter than a Texas whore in July
It is hotter than a turd in hell
It is hotter than a $10 Rolex

It is hotter than Jack Bauer's gun barrel
It is hotter than a snake's butt

It is hotter than a virgin on prom night
It is hotter than a well digger's ass
It is hotter than Michael Jackson in the ball pit at Chuck-E-Cheese

Got more? Post them in the comments below.

A Nut Grows In Brooklyn

In the past, I've been critical of the lefty bias on the pages of AM-New York. But on some days it seems as if a right-leaning editor snuck in and printed away. Today's editorial page (see page 11) has a political cartoon which mocks Dean. This caught my eye, because that page usually has a cartoon that's critical of our president, the church, troops, or Republicans.

The sneaky right-leaning editor also added a "letter to the editor" to go along with the whole Dean theme. While the author, a nutjob from Brooklyn, does not blame Karl Rove for the ascension of Dean as some on the left claim, she sees Howard as a counterweight to "Karl Rove and his ilk". It put on display, the absolute nose-dive the radical left has put the Democrats in, both in text and in a cartoon. Just a group of rabid lemmings going off the cliff of irrelevancy....YEAAHHH!

They did not publish my letter, but they did a fantastic job with this one.

Monday, June 13, 2005

Socialism 101

My gmail "inbox" has been a little quiet lately, so last month I signed up to receive email updates from In between claims that I'm the last living relative of a Nigerian king, every week John emails me, asking for money. Below is the last paragraph of the latest email and is the most telling about John Boy's real intention. This one paragraph shows why America was smart to reelect George W. Bush (who did better than John Kerry at Yale).

P.S. Sometimes I think Republican leaders in Congress forget why they're here. Let's make sure they know it's not about them and efforts to tighten their grip on power. It's about the American people and efforts to use the power of our government to improve people's lives.

"Ask not what you can do for your country...but what your country can give to you"

You can read the whole email here. There's a great piece about how Republicans are promoting partisanship and division. Howard Dean was not available for comment.

That government is best which governs the least, because its people discipline themselves. - Thomas Jefferson

Terrorists Amongst Us

New York Firefighters discovered a group of 5 or 6 Middle-Eastern men acting suspicious and decided to call in the police. When the NYPD arrived they found fake IDs and maps and sketches of the subway system. The NYPD took one man into custody, the others fled.

NY1 reported the man has multiple IDs with his photograph, using different names. Several mattresses were also found, along with an un-desecrated copy of the Quran

Update: The NYPD have stated that Nassr Mohamed is not a terrorist. Mr. Mohamed was arrested for false personation. The IDs he possessed had "different...but similar names" according to a police spokeswoman. The NYPD stated there were no ties to terrorism involved.

Olympic Hail Mary

The "amazing" Mets pulled New York's Olympic dreams out of the gutter with an announcement that the Mets will build a new stadium to be used for the 2012 Olympics. The plan would have a new Shea stadium in time for the 2009 season. The new stadium would be paid for by the Mets, with the city providing $85 and the state $75 million for infrastructure improvements around the new stadium.

"Today, we can stand here and tell New York, tell the United States and tell the world that we are going to continue to fight for the Olympic Games. You can never count New Yorkers out." - Mayor Bloomberg
The Yankees have agreed to let the Mets play at Yankee Stadium for the 2012 season, since the Yankees are not currently using that facility for anything that resembles baseball.

While no designs have been submitted, I took the liberty of coming up with my own proposal. This one would move the Mets to New Jersey. The new stadium in Queens will house the New York Jets, who currently play in Giants Stadium in New Jersey. Screw the Olympics.

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Weekend Caption Contest

A Piece of Pachyderm Caption Contest
1) Caption this scene by posting a comment or emailing me
2) Email me photoshop entries
3) Top entries will be posted on Monday 6/13

Winner - - Rodney Dill

- Bill: "As a matter of fact, New York is a BLEW state." - Shawn

Honorable Mention
- CLINTON: "Hey, you'd better be careful; I'm not good with blue ladies' clothing..." - Damian
-I heard that Monica Lewinsky started voting Republican. She said the Democrats
left a bad taste in her mouth. -
Glen Dean

Photoshop entries

(click to enlarge)
- The Man
- Rodney Dill
- Rodney Dill
- Rodney Dill
Previous Contests
Lady and the Vamp
Meet the Moron Contest
One Uncomfortable Moment
Caption The Irrelevancy
Tuesdays With Kim
Caption Bush
John Kerry Is...
Caption Clinton