Monday, January 31, 2005

Supersize Me, Hold The Glass

A NYPD police officer stopped off at a McDonalds in the Bronx last night and ended up in the hospital. A teenage employee inserted shards of glass in the officer's Big Mac. Albert Garcia Jr., 18, of the Bronx was charged with first degree assault, reckless endangerment, and criminal possession of a weapon. The officer was treated at a hospital and released.

Hot 97 Parody Contest

Hot 97 - a New York Hip Hop station got into some trouble a few weeks ago. The station played a racist song mocking the deaths of 200,000 people in the Tsunami to the tune of "We are the World". The news of this spread around the world and was an embarrassment to the radio station and the city of New York. To make matters even worse the morning host, Miss Jones, told an Asian member of the crew, "I know you feel you're superior because you're Asian, but you're not." and co-host Todd Lyn added this gem: "I'm going to start shooting Asians."

Sobek, had an idea to turn the tables and mock the Hot 97 and their racist DJs. A good idea to make fun of someone will never be passed over on this site. There are no rules or formats, just come up with an idea mocking the radio station and/or its ethically-challenged DJs. The winners will be chosen and posted by Sobek and myself on Friday (2/4).

Here are some ideas: Hot 97 logo photoshop, new promotional contests, new web banners, a new Hot 97 slogan, new nicknames for the morning DJs, and so on. You may post entries to the comments or email them to me.

Previous Post
Hot 97 Website

Photoshop entries:

(The Man)

Ballot is mightier than the IED

The people in the world who look at the Iraqi's dancing in the street with distain all have something in common. The terrorist because they were shown that the Ballot is mighter than the IED, dictators because they are starting to feel that cold sweat run down their back as their people see what is going on in Iraq, and Democrats.

Fresh off his defeat in American elections, Kerry warned that the vote should not be "overhyped". Ask a survivor of Saddam's regime, who is voting for the first time in 50 years if there is reason to overhype this historic moment. Kerry also stated "...this is the last chance for the president to get it right". Well screw you John Kerry, America got it right on November 2nd. It was good to see, the largely irrelevant, democrats scrambling for a soundbite yesterday, it was like November 3rd all over again. Most donks did the right thing and distanced themselves from the absurd statements made by Abu-Al Ted Kennedy, but still managed to marginalize themselves even more (if possible) by their statements. The democrats tried to bally-hoo the elections citing a Sunni boycott. Boycotting an election is about as smart as bringing a one-legged man to an ass kicking contest, enjoy the minority. The majority voted and unveiled a budding democracy that was unthinkable a few years ago. It will be interesting to see if this "fire" starts in other areas where people long to be free.

Friday, January 28, 2005

Top 10 Iraqi Political Slogans

Next Contest: Hot 97 Parody Contest (Monday - 11am)

Caption Freedom

Top entries:
10) For Sunnis: Nostalgic for Torture? Vote Sunni!
For Shiite: Finally! Some power!
For Kurds: Payback, baby! - SoFloFreeper
9) Every voter will receive a coupon for one free chutney squishy. "You can really taste the chutney!" - Shawn
8) - The Man
7) "Up with hope! Down with soap!" - TShaunK
6) Anybody But Bashar 'abd-al-Waleed al-Tikriti! - Sobek
5) Ah, what the hell -- mustaches for everybody! - evets
4) Moving Iraq Forward, to the 19th century - The Man
3) I actually voted against the mass-extermination of the Kurds before I voted for it. - Sobek
2) - Dan

and the #1 entry:

Photoshop entries:
(The Man)



Previous Caption Contests
Konfirmation Kaption Kontest
Here's Your Sign Caption Contest
Caption Hill-n-Bill
Chappaquiddick Caption Contest
The People's Choice
Caption Kerry
Dirty Dog Caption Contest
Holiday Caption Contest
Saddam -a- GoGo
Caption Hillary - Part 1

Thursday, January 27, 2005

Go Vols

An Iraqi Tennessee Vols fan? I wonder if the horn plays "Rocky Top".

(source - Lance In Iraq)

Slugging Senator Back At Work

Senator Kevin Parker (D-Brooklyn), fresh off a third degree assault arrest for punching a city traffic agent, has introduced a bill that would bar public (ie - media) access to some arrest records.

The bill is named the "Clear Your Good Name Act", and requires law enforcement to quickly expunge an arrest record if the person was released without charges being filed, the being dismissed, or it is found that the arrest was without probable cause. If the records are not cleared in a timely manner, or the records are made public, then the law enforcement officer would face felony charges.

"I feel bad for him, I think he has a little anger-management problem, but I don't see this bill coming before my committee," Says Senator Dale Volker (R-Depew). Volker chairs the Senate Codes Committee, where the bill was referred.

(Source - NY Post)

Other links
Original Slugging Senator post
The story even made Snopes!
Senator Kevin Parker's Website
Parker has a lead foot and blamed an accident on a deer ramming his car
Steve Gillard notes another Police -n- Parker incident, telling a female police officer, "There is nothing you can do about it, b----! Go f--- yourself!"
Tennessee Dem tries to use the system for his own child support case(s)

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Konfirmation Kaption Kontest

Caption Grand Senator Byrd
Next Contest: Top 10 Iraqi Political Slogans - Starts Friday (1/28)

Top 5 Captions
5. Because you can take the boy out of the Klan, but you can't take the Klan out of the boy. (dubyaismypresident)
4. The United States Senate: It's Klan-tastic! (Shawn)
3. (anonymous_user)
2. "Dr. Rice, do you like rainbows and puppies and giggles and icecream?"
1. Rock smashes scissors, President Bush wins!
(The Man)

Photoshop Entries:
(The Man)


(The Man)


For those lamenting about another 4 years of W, it could be worse:
President Byrd: "'ll have to ask Vice President Dukakis about that." (The Man)

"Dr. Rice, do you like rainbows and puppies and giggles and icecream?"

Rock smashes scissors, President Bush wins!
(The Man)

Previous Caption Contests
Here's Your Sign Caption Contest
Caption Hill-n-Bill
Chappaquiddick Caption Contest
The People's Choice
Caption Kerry
Dirty Dog Caption Contest
Holiday Caption Contest
Saddam -a- GoGo
Caption Hillary - Part 1

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Hot 97 DJ In Hot Water

Update: Hot 97 has pulled the entire morning crew responsible for the airing of the tasteless and racist tsunami parody song. The station's publicist, Lizzie Grubman, would not mention if Miss Jones would continue to pollute the air waves at a future date and time. For more about Grubman, click here.

Update: Rodney Marsh , a British soccer pundit, was fired for making a joke about the Tsunami disaster. Hot 97 has not fired Miss Jones.

A Hip-hop station in New York is in hot water after airing a racist parody of "We Are The World". The parody takes aim at the millions of people affected by the Tsunami in a series of cheap shots only a sick person would find funny. Miss Jones, the morning DJ at Hot 97, must be the most dimwitted person on this planet for thinking it would be ok to air such a piece of filth. If that was not bad enough, the station's newsreader, Miss Info, stated "That song is really offensive to me, and I opted not to involve myself." In response Jones stated, "I know you feel you're superior because you're Asian, but you're not." The co-host Todd Lyn, then added this bit, "I'm going to start shooting Asians."

Local politicians have denounced the radio station, which has offered a feeble apology in response. The seven member staff of the Miss Jones show will donate a week's salary to the victims of the Tsunami tragedy.

Sample of the Lyrics
..All at once you could hear the screaming ch*nks and no one was safe
from the wave there were africans drowning, little chinamen swept
away you could hear god laughing, "swim you b*tches swim"

So now you're screwed, it's the Tsunami
you better run or kiss your ass away, go find your mommy
I just saw her float by, a tree went through her head
and now the children will be sold to child slavery...

Other Links
Hot 97 statement
Click Here to Contact Hot 97 takes on the Hot 97 morons and lists their sponsors here
NBC-Miami has a poll (67% think the group should be fired)
Newsday article
Indian paper weighs in
The KWire kicks Hot 97 in the chops
Angry Asian Man has the song linked
Yahoo! India article calls Hot 97 crew racist
The BBC reports on the Hot 97 wankers
Indian site lists another racist-radio incident (Power 99 in Philly) where an Indian call center worker is called a "rat eater" by radio hosts Star and Buc Wild
Aussie site blasts Miss Jones as a disgrace to New York
Story hits New Zealand
Yes, there is already a petition
The Gothamist stole my headline

Monday, January 24, 2005

Link Of The Week - ARMOR GEDDON

This week's Link of the Week goes to a fellow New York blogger who happens to be over in Iraq right now, kicking ass and blogging at the same time. 1st Lt. Neil Prakash was born in India, but raised in Syracuse. He was recently awarded the Silver Star for actions in Iraq. His blog is ARMOR GEDDON, check it out.

"We just kept rolling, getting shot at from everywhere".

In a battle, Prakash and his men faced 23 IEDs, 20-25 RPG, multiple machine-gun nests, and enemy dismounts armed with small arms and hand grenades. All on a 1 kilometer (0.6 miles)strtech of road. Leading the attack Prakash's tank was hit with multiple IEDs and 7 RPGs. One disabled the main turret. Prakash kept up the attack and in the end, his group was responsible for taking care of 25 insurgents and an estimated 50 to 60 additional insurgents.

Past Links of the Week

Who's Your Daddy?

Update: Tennessee State GOP files inquiry into Ford's residency. The Tennessee Constitution says senatorial districts ''shall be represented by a qualified voter of that district.'' Ford's two homes lie outside his district, but he is registered to vote at a family run funeral home. State law requires you to fill out the "address where you live." on registration forms. Breaking the law could result in up to a $3,000 fine and 6 years in jail.

Tennessee State Senator John Ford (D-Memphis) authored a law which keeps court-ordered child support lower when a father is responsible for other children. Ford also heads the Senate committee which guides the state's child welfare policies. In this case, it is not a senator looking out for constituents, but his own wallet.

Raising a family today is difficult. It is even more difficult when you are raising more than one as Ford has been doing. Ford, 62, testified that he has two homes and spends some days with he ex-wife and their three children. Other days he spends with his girlfriend and their two children. Ford owns the homes and pays the bills for both, when asked about having two homes, Ford shot back "I know people who got five."

Ford is also fighting a suit by a third woman, who Ford fathered a 10-year old child with and won a sexual harassment verdict from the senator in 1996. The woman is trying to increase Ford's child support, which is only $500 a month. Senator Ford earned $356,899 in 2003, up from $255,752 in 2002.

(Source - Yahoo news)

More Snow Pictures

Random Blizzard Thoughts:
--Digging out of a snowstorm is always easier with a snow shovel that is not broken in half, I tested that theory over the weekend.
--Driving in the snow, I noticed many if not most of the snowplows had their plows UP, thanks guys, it usually works better when the plows are down!
--Al Gore came to New York City last year and gave a speech on "Global Warming". The day he chose to speak, the temperature was -21 degrees with the windchill. Did your flight get cancelled this year Al?
--Having a Subaru really sucks in this weather. I found an empty parking lot and could not spin out no matter how hard I tried. I was really upset.
--My fiancé asked me what would happen in Tennessee if they got a snow like this. I told her it would be a disaster, I think I was putting it lightly. If we got 1 inch in Nashville, the schools shut down, people went home from work, the grocery stores were raided, and the weathermen went on the air 24 hours covering the "Blizzard". Oh, and people drive like crap in Nashville without any snow on the ground, imagine if you add a little ice to mix. It is like an expensive round of bumper cars out there.

Sunday, January 23, 2005

Snow Dog

12 inches of snow, 6 foot snow drifts, 50 MPH winds. Bring it on.

Friday, January 21, 2005

Here's Your Sign Caption Contest

Caption This Burnout's Sign
Next Caption Contest - Wednesday (1/26)

Top 10 Captions
10) "Dave's not here!" - retrokitten
9) Cheech and Chong '08! - GOP and College
8) "Will protest for food.....and a shower". - jennyjenny
7) "If you can read this, thank a public school teacher" - Tom B
6) "Might work for food" - Gefreiter
5) "Pot wanted! Anyone holding?" - Bikers4Bush
4) Feel my prostate. $10.00 - isthisnickcool
3) Down with signs! - RightthinkinAmerican
2) "Won't work at all" - RetroWarrior

and the #1 Caption is:
1) "Single gay hippy seeks hemp-friendly partner for sleeping late, avoiding work, and overestimating self-importance" - Gefreiter

Click Here for the Photoshop Contest Rankings

Previous Caption Contests
Caption Hill-n-Bill
Chappaquiddick Caption Contest
The People's Choice
Caption Kerry
Dirty Dog Caption Contest
Holiday Caption Contest
Saddam -a- GoGo
Caption Hillary - Part 1

You Lost By How Much?

Slugging Senator Puts The "a-s-s" In Assault

When reaching out to your constituents, it is best not to use a closed fist.

State Senator Kevin Parker (D - Brooklyn), was charged with third-degree assault on a Ticket Agent for the NYPD. Senator Parker was double parked after being involved in a minor accident. The ticket agent, unaware of the accident, wrote up a ticket for the double-parking. While the officer was in the patrol car writing up the ticket, Parker reached into the car window, tore up the ticket, and threw it in the officer's face. The officer then got out of the car, Parker then punched the officer in the face. The punch-happy senator then tried to drive off, the officer blocked his car, Parker got out and pushed the officer again. Police arrived on the scene and threw the Brooklyn Democrat in the slammer.
Senator Parker has two suspensions and four convictions on his driving license; he can now add assault to that list.

Thursday, January 20, 2005

When is 3,000,000-plus votes considered a landslide?

Question: When is 3,000,000-plus votes considered a landslide?

West Wing - Swiss Diplomacy
TOBY: The President says all you need is one, the rest are for ego.
KAREN: Uh-huh, and how many did the President win by?
TOBY: About three and a half million.
TOBY : "Start getting used to the fact that we won in a landslide. We can show some fight on this."

Toby was referring to the upcoming fight with a hostile opposing party (Republicans) on cabinet nominations. George W. Bush won by 3,319,608 votes and is now facing a hostile opposing party on cabinet nominations. Sometimes you just cannot make this stuff up.

(Hat Tip - Media Research Center)


Today would have been a good day to take off from work. Alas, I will have to watch the speech Bush gave on C-Span tonight. If I had Tivo, I would have had to stay home because I would not know what channel to record? Do I watch Dan Rather, CNN, Fox News, or see if ABC found a military funeral to crash on this historic day?

This is a sad day for the anti-everything kooks. The devil has been sworn in for a second term and the democrats are in self-destruct mode. They must be told that the only people listening to them are the MSM and the voices in their head.

Men, women, trannies, put down the Arabian Mocha Java and the homemade "Bush is a poopoo head" sign, you lost. Time to moveon, even Wile E. Coyote (Coyotius Carnivorous) eventually knew when he was beat. Oh and thanks for helping the Bush team get back for a second term. What was that? Yes, the demonazation of our president rallied GOP voters like never before. You guys did more for the cause than any signed fundraising photo of the president ever did (I got 3 of them). Thanks for coming out though; you made the convention more entertaining. Your "die-ins" were great. I liked the part where you cry for free speech, but only if you like the message. We will all miss your antics. Good luck finding another message to champion. I hear there is an African-American woman being harassed the other day in Washington by an ex-Klan member and some rich white dudes from Massachusetts.

Bowling for a Felony

Michael Moore preached about America's "culture of fear" in his 2003 mockumentary, Bowling for Columbine. Fastforward to 2005, Mr. Moore's bodyguard, Patrick Burke, was arrested after bringing in an unlicenced weapon into JFK Airport.

Other Links
NY Daily News Article
Moore denied entry into his High School Hall of Fame

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Generation Duuhh - Part 1

Baby Got Back

My sister works at a test-prep company and has sent over a few examples of essays written by kids trying to get into college. I am starting to wonder if letting these kids invest in their own social security might be a bad idea.

One test asks the student to expand on the statement: "You don't know what you have until it's gone". Here is their essay....Not sure if "big butts" are something you miss once they are gone.

Click on the picture for a larger view

Click Here for the whole essay

Caption The Clintons Contest

Caption Hill -n- Bill
Next Caption Contest: Protest This! (11am - 1/20)

Top 5 Captions
5) Coming soon to a ballot box near you...Corrupt and Corrupterer - The Man
4) Bill: I feel you Karma! Hill: That better be all you're feeling. - funkywbr
3) Gee, Bill, I'm sure glad we're not wearing orange suits! - Marysecretary
2) Bill: "I have no idea why Sue would name me, but I DID NOT have sex with that woman. What? You said 'tsunami?' Never mind. Luv ya, Hillary." - Shawn

and the #1 Caption is:
1) "...And then I explained to Hillary, 'No, no, I said Buddha call!" - Scott M

Photoshop entries:
In a sure sign of a split in the Democratic base, Hillary accepts the endorsement of 2 of the 3 Icy Hot Stuntaz for the 2008 Presidential race. Blade and Flame endorsed Hillary at the press conference, Freeze is endorsing John Kerry.
- The Man

Previous Caption Contests
Chappaquiddick Caption Contest
The People's Choice
Caption Kerry
Dirty Dog Caption Contest
Holiday Caption Contest
Saddam -a- GoGo
Caption Hillary - Part 1

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Soldier Drops MOAB on Media Coverage In Iraq

Before you read this. Remember John Kerry's recent visit to the Middle East? He asked a soldier what he should tell Congress about the war in Iraq. A soldier responded: "the good work that they are doing is not getting reported in the United States."
1/17 - Kerry attacks Bush on Iraq, cries about the election.

LTC Tim Ryan
All right, I've had enough. I am tired of reading distorted and grossly exaggerated stories from major news organizations about the "failures" in the war in Iraq. "The most trusted name in news" and a long list of others continue to misrepresent the scale of events in Iraq. Print and video journalists are covering only a fraction of the events in Iraq and, more often than not, the events they cover are only negative.

This is just the first paragraph. Click here to read the rest of his article.

(Hat Tip - Drudge)

Dem Senators Wage Web War

Politics in Albany have now spread out to the internet. Democratic Senators are upset because the Republican majority in the state Senate have cushy addresses for their websites, addresses that mimic their names. Democrats, on the other hand, were given cryptic addresses (see below). Some Democrat sites are only accessible if you know what district number you are looking for, a confusing way to try and locate your local State Senator. Knowing our NY politicians, be prepared for lots of wasted time and money to be spent working this out. In the end, I would hate to see what will happen once the Dems gain control of the Senate and do a little payback. If I were them, I would limit the GOP sites to IP addresses (ie -

This all started in 2000 when a pilot program for Senator websites was launched...but only for the Republican majority. Democrats complained, so the websites for the minority party were launched, but with a different naming system for the minority sites. In a first for this site, I agree with the Democrats on this one (ouch that hurt to type). I am not sure how, but I think George W. Bush is behind this.

NY State GOP Senators
Joseph L. Bruno -
Charles J. Fuschillo -
Michael F. Nozzolio -

NY State Democrat Senators
Senator Eric Schneiderman (D-NYC) -

Senator Thomas K. Duane (D-NYC) -

Senator George Onorato (D-Queens) -

(Hat Tip - New York Statements)

Friday, January 14, 2005

Chappaquiddick Caption Contest

Next Caption Contest
Wednesday 1/19: Caption The Clintons

Captain Kennedy Caption Contest
Don't drink and drive

Top 10 Captions
10) If you think the one about my nephew's trial is funny, what until you hear the one about when I drove off a bridge! - TGO
9) Holy sinking Oldsmobiles Teddy bourbon is not a breakfast beverage - atomicpossum
8) Ted Kennedy indicating the number of days he has shown up for work in the Senate sober. - Busywhiskers
7) After leaving her in the car, I had to walk 4 WHOLE MILES to get help ... for myself, that is. - TJ
6) "No, really! I left her in the car and they re-elected me 5 more times?" - rckyracoco
5) The kids call this "a shocker" - The Man
4) "And on the fourth try I finally spit out, 'Barak Obama.'" - Joe 6-Pack
3) Wrecked him? Damn near killed him! - The Man
2) Barkeep, make mine a quintuple. - Yard Stick

and the #1 caption:
1) Sen. Edward M. Kennedy (D-TOX) - Charles Henrickson

Photoshop entries:
- dagalagas

We call this "The Compound Shocker"
- The Man

- Bassfire

"Whooaa buddy, we have different way to interview the male interns"
- The Man

"Yeah, baby, increased entry angle and pin carry."
- Sobek

Previous Caption Contests
The People's Choice
Dirty Dog Caption Contest
Holiday Caption Contest
Saddam -a- GoGo
Caption Hillary - Part 1

Thursday, January 13, 2005

No Love Child Left Behind - Part 2

Upset over yesterday's NY Post article, Democratic Assemblyman Herman "Denny" Farrell stormed into The Post's Albany bureau and threatened state editor Frederic U. Dicker on Dicker's radio show. Farrell cried "I'm so freakin' mad. If this was a neighborhood, you know how this could end,". He also added "I just came in to let your listeners know what a piece of slime you are," and added "You're a bully." Within a few hours Farrell issued an apology to the listeners, but not to Dicker.

The soon-to-be father has also raised the indignation of local constituents who see a politician as someone to look up to, while Farrell is not marrying the woman who is going to raise his love child. Farrell is 72 and will be pushing 80 while the kid is still crapping in it's pants. One local voter stated "I have an 11-year-old and a 12-year-old, and I wouldn't want them to know that," said Julie Infante, 38. "She reads current events. If she reads this, I have to deal with this nonsense." A 17 year old high school student was asked about the story and sounded as if they have given up on politicians, "Farrell should be setting an example for my generation and people in general...look at what Clinton did. I don't have hope for anyone anymore."

The NY Post story and Farrell's thugish reaction has been picked up by various news outlets: The Daily News, 1010 WINS, WNBC, Newsday, WYNT, NBC3, and The New York Times to name a few.

(NY Post - Shame on Papa Pol)

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Teddy A Republican?

(Source - Yahoo)

Yeah, I think Teddy would be as disgusted with this as I am. But of course, I'm sober this time of day.

No Love Child Left Behind

Herman "Denny" Farrell, the New York Democratic Party Chairman, announced that he is expecting the birth of his third son, Murphy Brown-style (out-of-wedlock). The love child will instantly be an uncle to one of Farrell's grandsons. Farrell, who has two grown children, was divorced last year.

Mr. Farrell, 72, is almost twice the age of his partner who is 38. In a trend becoming of a Democrat, the mother was an intern some 20 years ago, but not "under" Farrell.

A Marist political guru, Dr. Lee Miringoff stated, "This kind of thing won't help the Democrats in their efforts to broaden their appeal beyond their core constituency,". Just ask Monica.

(Source - NY Post)

Related Links
Dems are upset with Farrell's inaction on upcoming mayoral and governor races.

Farrell predicted a Kerry win and large turnout for Kerry in New York. Wrong and Wrong.

Farrell raised a stink with DNC Planners, complaining about the location of the NY Delegate party in Boston.

Farrell allowed John Kerry and Dick Gephardt on the NY Primary ballot even though they did have enough nominating signatures to qualify. Howard Dean was quoted as saying "These guys took the easy way out by falsely claiming they had signatures they didn't have. ... I think Sen. Kerry and Rep. Gephardt have some explaining to do."

The People's Choice: Moore Caption Contests

Caption Kennedy Contest
Starts Today @ 11am

Top 10 Captions
10. Excited at such a coveted award, Moore does the "Watusi". - Nethicus
9. TrimSpa has found its newest celebrity endorsement. - The Man
8. (paraphrasing Jaws) I think we're going to need a bigger backscratcher... - Gislef
7. Leaning Tower of Pizza - Kitty
6. "No, that's not a goatee. It's six-week old pudding residue!" - Shawn
5. You see this award? You see this award? Someone pass the salt! - Rob
4. Congratulation, Michael Moore - you've just won the PCA for Best Picture. What do you do next? I'm going to McDonald's!!! - Gislef
3. Yes, thank you, I think it will fit perfectly! - Steve
2. "GET IN MY BELLY!" - Shawn

and the #1 Caption:
1. Thank you for this "Facts distorted in life of unachievment award". - RapidR

Photoshop entry:

A 1,500 ton chunk of rock blocked a stretch of road in California, turned out to be Michael Moore on his way home from the "People's Choice" awards. Crews were able to clear Moore off the road with a truckload of Twinkies and a bottle of scotch. - Me

Additional Links: