Thursday, September 30, 2004

The fables in Coral Gables


After weeks of build-up, the first debate is upon us. It may not be the "thrilla in Manilla", but if Kerry keeps up the talk about the mythical draft, Bush raising Medicare premiums, Bush's secret plans, or nuclear war, we may have to call it "the fables in Coral Gables".

Who will win the debate? Kerry already has the bronze locked up. The media have already put Bush out as the favorite, one reporter calling the Bush team "cocky". In the end, each side is going to have their talking heads out claiming victory. The word "flip-flop" and "quagmire" will be thrown around like hookers at the Kennedy compound. It is too bad the candidates cannot approach each other; debates would be more fun with a little wrestling match there at the end.

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Oompa Loompa Democrats


Hat Tip: Blogs For Bush


Oompa Loompa Democrats
Oompa Loompa Democrats doo
I’ve got another doozy for you
Oompa Loompa doompadah dee
If you are clueless you’ll vote for me
What do you get from a glut of TV?
Swift Boat Vets always shooting at me
Why don’t you try simply reading a book?
But at my weak record you better not look!
Oompa Loompa Doompadee Dah
At your expense I will go far
Taxing and spending, flip-flopping too
Like the OompaOompa Loompa Democrats do
Hat Tip: Blogs of War

Kerry on Good Morning America

Today, on Good Morning America, John Kerry was asked about his classic "I voted for it before I voted against it" comment:
"No, it wasn’t classic at all. It just was a very inarticulate way of saying something, and I had one of those inarticulate moments late in the evening when I was dead tired in the primaries and I didn't say something very clearly." - John Kerry

Late in the evening?
“‘I actually did vote for his $87 billion, before I voted against it,’ he told a group of veterans at a noontime appearance at Marshall University. He went on to explain that he preliminarily backed the request, so long as it was financed not by deficit spending but with a tax surcharge on the wealthy that Bush opposed.”

USA Today had it described as a "midday" town meeting.

*I think Kerry has stated Bush is helping out Florida too much (with hurricane aid) and should do something about outsourcing. You bet your butt I will check up and see if I can get a quote.

Edwards: We Will Win New Jersey

"We're going to win New Jersey easily," - John Edwards
On the local New York City news last night, each station ran a segment on John Edwards and his surprising swing into New Jersey. Local Democrats must have checked to see if they were getting a feeds from Fox News as all the stations noted that Edwards New Jersey visit meant the state was in play for this election and for the first time since 1988. The local ABC station interviewed the Senator where he said that a New Jersey visit was part of his campaign and they will easily carry New Jersey. If New Jersey is such a lock, Mr. Edwards, why not spend time in other battleground states? If Edwards was not lying when he said it was all part of his campaign, he needs to fire his advisors who are taking him to non-battleground areas to pump up the party. After all, when was the last time Bush went to campaign in Kentucky or Nebraska (both solid Bush states)? The theme of all the stories was that the Hair Pair of Kerry/Edwards is in trouble when they have to campaign in states where Gore won by 16 points, even the NY Times picked up on it.

Edwards: "Trying to use the tragedy of 9/11 for personal political gain is a very, very bad thing."
Dave Evans: "And you think the president is doing that?"
Edwards: "Yes, I do."
(ABC interview)
The statements by Edwards were confusing, because the rally also showcased the partisan 9/11 widow, Kristin Breitweiser, and her attack on President Bush. Therefore, using the tragedy of 9/11 for political gain.

Update: Edwards did not wow the party faithful. He was 2.5 hours late, inciting nearly 20% of the crowd to leave. One democrat stated "His only visit to New Jersey and this is what they do.”

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

I want my $50 back

This election cycle I sent the GOP a check for $50,you see I'm cheap and have a wedding to pay for. As I wrote that check, I envisioned the GOP using that money to do something constructive, like mailings or some TV ads. Then I check out this RNC-funded site: http://www.flippercam.com/. I have to wonder if my $50 went to have some guys dress up in a dolphin outfit and shadow the Kerry campaign. Those are some sweet outfits.


Am I upset? No, I just wished I had been contacted to be one of the GOP-funded dolphins. Come on Ed Gillespie, what does a donor have to do to get a dolphin outfit? If Hillary runs in 2008, I'm going to request that we have giant cigars chasing her around. I would send a check for that.

You are so Liberal if... Part 3

Here is the third part of the weekly "you are so liberal" posting. This post is for the people out there still having problems determining their liberality? Have you caught yourself telling your friends that you still think Dan Rather is an objective news source? Maybe you have been thinking about buying a Toyota Prius because some celebrities have them or you just ran a Prius off the road in your SUV. If you still think Al Franken is funny, then read on. If you think it is funny that Air America has to pay radio stations to air their programs, you can skip this post.

There have been some funny posts sent to me and I'll list them in future entries. Keep sending them to me here or post them in the comments for the entire world to see. Remember, there are no stupid entries, just stupid people.
Part 1
Part 2

If you get both your political and keg stands from Ted Kennedy, you might be a liberal.

You're so liberal if you can say "Fake but Accurate" with a straight face.
You're also so liberal if you offended by my use of the word "straight" in the previous paragraph.
(hat tip - Sobek)

If you claim to have a better picture of the situation in Iraq than the prime minister of Iraq, you are a liberal. Also, if your idea of "winning the peace" in Iraq involves calling the prime minister of Iraq a "puppet", you might be a liberal.

If you state: "I have a plan that I'm going to have a press conference at least once a month to talk to the nation about what I'm doing because I don't have anything to hide," Then go a month without taking any questions from the press because you have something to hide. You are a liberal.

If your ratings are torpedoed by a group of jammie-wearing bloggers, you might be a liberal.
(hat-tip - Kitty)

You're so liberal if.... in the 60's and 70's you protested the Vietnam war and the soldiers that were committing atrocities like burning villages and raping women....then turn around and vote for one of them to run the country.
(hat tip - loarmistead)

If you have a bumper sticker that reads: "my child and my money go to UC-Berkley", you might be a liberal.

You are so wrong if your campaign website lists you as once serving as Vice Chairman of the Senate Select Committee on Intelligence...even though you never held the position.

If you spent Christmas in Cambodia and Armistice day in Safwan, you might be a liberal.

You can find these and many more in the forums at Mighty Righty. Feel free to email me additions or enter them in the comments.

Disclaimer: These entries are a joke. You do not have to be liberal to fall under these entries. Not all liberals subscribe to these ideals. To be fair, a "You're so righty" forum also was created (posts to date: 26). I am not a professional nor do I claim to be, if you turn out to be a liberal, seek immediate, professional help. If you base your political ideals on a song, celebrity's opinion, bumper sticker, TV show, cartoon, movie, or blog entry you are a moron and should move to Boston.

Monday, September 27, 2004

Bush-haters Go Nuclear



Ted Kennedy, who once searched for a lawyer while a woman drowned in his car, has now put out the statement that a second Bush term could bring a nuclear attack. ''The war in Iraq has made the mushroom cloud more likely, not less likely" stated Kerry mouthpiece, Teddy. This begs me to ask the question...How far can this rhetoric go and has Kennedy actually eaten mushrooms before making this outlandish claim? Will the democrats also claim that a second Bush term would also bring locusts, plagues, and a Red Sox World Series title (all 3 signs of the apocalypse)? When is Kerry going to demand that Teddy put down the both the bottle and these claims? I'd like to see Teddy's statement brought up during Thursday's debates. Does Kerry believe that the actions of the United States, in a war that he voted for before he was against it, make us more likely to be on the wrong end of a nuke?

Also, did Kennedy also point out that removing Saddam also made it less likely that the Iraqi dictator would ever continue his research into WMD including nuclear weapons? I think we all know that is much more difficult to stage a nuclear research program from the inside of a jail cell than from a brutal throne. According to John Kerry's latest stance on Iraq, Saddam would be still thumbing his nose at the UN while tinkering with his nuclear program with the billions of dollars he was taking from the Iraqi people in the scam known as the UN's Oil-for-Food program. I like our odds with a second Bush term and Saddam on trial.

Update: Kennedy to blame Bush for this. "Under a second Bush term, we are more likely to be struck by life-ending monster asteroid".

Update: Congress probing UN Oil-for-Food scam.

Update: Edwards implodes on Imus

Friday, September 24, 2004

"We know we can't count on the French. We know we can't count on the Russians. We know that Iraq is a danger to the United States, and we reserve the right to take pre-emptive action whenever we feel it's in our national interest." - John Kerry (CNN's Crossfire 1997)

-----------------

"I owe you an apology. I made a mistake during my [Republican National Convention] speech ... I said that with 64 days to go, John Kerry could change his mind five or six times about what to do in Iraq. Well, he's already changed his mind four or five times and I'm going to be proven wrong again because I think we're looking more like eight or nine times." - Rudy Giuliani

Camp Kerry Packs Up Tents

The Kerry camp is packing up and heading home. As he pulls ads from 4 battleground states: Arizona, Arkansas, Louisiana, and Missouri, polls show that true "blue states" are getting harder and harder to find. Latest maps show that New Jersey is now tied, New York is within striking distance, Pennsylvania is a dead heat, and even Maine is in play. President Bush has all the states he won in 2000 and he is now picking off Gore states like they were apples. While Kerry's squeaky voice failed him in Ohio, Bush scored major victories in Washington. The House and Senate passed 339-65 and 92-3, the $145.9 billion tax relief package to extend three middle-class tax cuts. Also on Thursday, the House passed 247-173 to protect the Pledge from liberal judges who want to edit it how they see fit. The media is now in panic mode, Kerry is insulting foreign leaders, and all Bush has to do is sit back and prepare to kick Kerry in the teeth during the debates.

I know everyone says not to be too over confident, but whom are we kidding? We're not running against the organization of Gore or Clinton. This campaign has been managed worse than the McDonalds on my block. They have only one clear message (Bush is stupid) and have been plagued by so much internal strife that it resembles an episode of The Apprentice. Bush-hating can only take you so far and then you have to have a clear position on something. John Kerry has not and his new anti-war stance is just Howard Dean-lite, which risks putting off many of his supporters who support the effort in Iraq. Kerry and the Dems are learning that you need more than a few dead people in Ohio to get you elected. How do you like them apples?


Update: Two groups are being investigated for voter fraud in Ohio: NAACP and ACT. ACT or America Coming Together was the anti-Bush group who hired felons to go door-to-door to collect voter information.

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

Kerry Peddles Urban Legends

Check your email. Don't be surprised if you get an email from John Kerry claiming you can have millions of dollars by helping out in a Nigerian Inheritance scam. On the campaign trail, President Bush is speaking to the American people and telling them how he will lead us for the next four years. Kerry is now dealing in internet hoaxes and scare tactics to stem the tide of voters who are fleeing from his side. Asked if a second Bush term would bring a draft, Kerry replied "If George Bush were to be re-elected, given the way he has gone about this war and given his avoidance of responsibility in North Korea and Iran and other places, is it possible? I can't tell you." Last week Howard Dean stated "I think that George Bush is certainly going to have a draft if he goes into a second term, and any young person that doesn't want to go to Iraq might think twice about voting for him.”

John Kerry and Howard Dean would only have to look at their own party to find out who would indeed want to institute a draft. Rep. Charles Rangel (D-NY) and Senator Ernest Hollings (D-SC), introduced Bills HR 163 and S.89 respectively. The bills call for: young persons in the United States, including women, perform a period of military service or a period of civilian service in furtherance of the national defense and homeland security, and for other purposes. In their own words, a draft. There were 14 co-signers to this bill...all 14 were democrats.

Update: Cox and Forkum skewer the dems on this

Top 10: Signs the election is in the bag for Bush

Top 10 Signs the election is in the bag for Bush
10. James Carville inserts his head into another trashcan
9. Dan Rather calls Florida for Kerry
8. Vietnam announces it's pulling out of 2004 campaign
7. International Spelling Bee inquires how to spell "Strategery"
6. John McCain goes back to supporting democrats
5. Bush has to start campaigning in swing states of New Jersey and New York
4. Kerry and Dukakis start new 527: Landslide Losers for Truth
3. Bush twins start campaigning for free drinks
2. Moveon.org moves on

And the #1 sign the election is in the bag...
1. Senator Kerry shows up for work


Top 10 Signs Bush Has Already Won the Election

Return to GOP and the City

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

Top 10: Signs Kerry has already lost the election

Top 10 Signs Kerry has already lost the election
10. Hillary sends email asking for donation to Hillary-2008
9. Gore keeps calling and giving concession speech advice
8. Edwards goes back to work in the Senate
7. Dan Rather calls to ask what he can do
6. Michael Moore calls him "a lousy candidate"
5. Mike Dukakis sends a "Welcome To The Club" FTD basket
4. No more Letterman, has to settle with a spot on Tony Danza's show
3. Is told to "shove it" by Teresa
2. Awarded 4th purple heart by Federal Election Committee

And the #1 sign it is over for John Kerry...
1. Even the hamster will not look him in the eye


**Featured in the The Blue Chip Review's 9/24 edition of The Whistleblower**

Top 10 Signs Bush Has Already Won the Election

Return to GOP and the City

John "No Recommendation" Edwards


Rep. Porter Goss is one step closer to becoming our new man at the head of the CIA. The head of this position will work with the administration and help defend us from future attacks.

The Senate Intelligence Committee voted 12 to 4, with three Democrats joining the committee's nine Republicans in approving the nomination and one Democrat making no recommendation. That lone member who made "no recommendation", John Edwards. Just like his partner, John Kerry, they offer nothing when it comes to the security of our country.

Hat tip: Crush Kerry
Update: Senate approves nomination of Porter Goss, 77-17 with 6 not voting. Among those not voting-Senators John Kerry and John Edwards.

John Kerry is a Douche Bag



"John Kerry could not be more of a douche bag" - Quote from my friend Steve.

Check this out. Check out the "Also Try" line.

You are so Liberal if... Part 2

It's Tuesday kids, and do you know what that means? That's right, You Are So Liberal Tuesday! Maybe you read last week's entries and are still confused about your political ideology. If you are a guy, just because you watch NASCAR and tape Trading Spaces, does not make you a liberal. If you listen to NPR while blogging on Barbara Streisand's website, you don't need this post. Here is part 2 of this weekly series, tune in next Tuesday when I will unveil new entries.

If you are running against a Republican and Micheal Moore calls you a lousy candidate, you have bigger problems than just being a liberal.

You're so liberal if you support removing Saddam even though you acknowledge there are no WMD's before you were against removing Saddam because he had no WMDs.

You're so liberal if you owe a late fee on a book you checked out of the Clinton Presidential Library..bonus, if it was a pop-up book based on Clinton's domestic affairs.

You're so liberal if you noticed John Kerry's Misery Index, but the only thing that you are miserable about is that Kerry is your party's candidate.

If your kid has two mommies, you might be a liberal.

You're so liberal if you still bitch and moan about the 2000 election.

If you still work on Dennis Kucinich's campaign, you might be a liberal.

You're so liberal if you protest the Patriot Act, but cannot think of one way you have been affected by it.

If you have to bribe people with beer in order to get them to vote for Kerry...you are a liberal. I wonder if Ted Kennedy was behind this

You're so liberal if you are running out of people to compare Bush to. There's Hitler, Saddam, Pol Pot, Stalin, Nixon, etc...

Click Here for Part 1

You can find these and many more in the forums at Mighty Righty. Feel free to email me additions or enter them in the comments.

Disclaimer: These entries are a joke. You do not have to be liberal to fall under these entries. Not all liberals subscribe to these ideals. To be fair, a "You're so righty" forum also was created (posts to date: 26). I am not a professional nor do I claim to be, if you turn out to be a liberal, seek immediate, professional help. If you base your political ideals on a song, celebrity's opinion, bumper sticker, TV show, cartoon, movie, or blog entry you are a moron and should move to Boston.

Monday, September 20, 2004

Man Hunt For Person Threatening President

Man Hunt Underway:

Cops are on the lookout for a blue Toyota sedan with a New York license plate: BRF-6596. The person behind the threats is a 55-year-old upstate man named Lawrence Ward.

Ward left his upstate New York home last Wednesday armed with a hunting rifle and told a neighbor that "I'm not coming back". Ward has made threats against both Bush and Kerry. Both candidates are in town, Bush for a speech at the UN, Kerry for a taping of Regis and Kelly.

Ward's ex wife claimed that Lawrence "is very dangerous and capable of killing someone and/or committing suicide". She also mentioned "he was a wife-beater and other things I don't want to talk about."

Drudge claimed he had knowledge of impending threats on the President, which will be news stories later this week, on his radio show last night. I'm not sure if this was one of them.

They should lock this guy up with Daniel Avila. Send them both to Guantanamo on the Hudson.

Update: NY Daily News article


The Other Guy Blinked


STATEMENT FROM DAN RATHER:
Last week, amid increasing questions about the authenticity of documents used in support of a 60 MINUTES WEDNESDAY story about President Bush's time in the Texas Air National Guard, CBS News vowed to re-examine the documents in question—and their source—vigorously. And we promised that we would let the American public know what this examination turned up, whatever the outcome.
Now, after extensive additional interviews, I no longer have the confidence in these documents that would allow us to continue vouching for them journalistically. I find we have been misled on the key question of how our source for the documents came into possession of these papers. That, combined with some of the questions that have been raised in public and in the press, leads me to a point where—if I knew then what I know now—I would not have gone ahead with the story as it was aired, and I certainly would not have used the documents in question.
But we did use the documents. We made a mistake in judgment, and for that I am sorry. It was an error that was made, however, in good faith and in the spirit of trying to carry on a CBS News tradition of investigative reporting without fear or favoritism.
Please know that nothing is more important to us than people's trust in our ability and our commitment to report fairly and truthfully.

--It took CBS 2 weeks to do what a few internet bloggers did in 2 hours.

CBS admits it was duped.
This documents is still under review.

Opening Pitches

At the Yankees game on Sunday, Junichiro Koizumi, the prime minister of Japan, threw out the first pitch at the Red Sox-Yankees baseball game. Mr. Koizumi threw the ball to a waiting Hideki Matsui, all the way from the pitchers mound. This brings me to the two men running for president, one a faux fan and the other a former team owner. They both have taken the mound to toss out a pitch. Hear me out, I would never suggest placing your vote for a person on a pitch of this nature. However, baseball is woven into the fabric of American history and lifestyle. How each man approaches the game, reflects on his character. Just ask Eddie Yost.

John Kerry threw the ball prior to a Red Sox-Yankees game, not from the mound, but from in front of the mound and bounced it to a waiting National Guard soldier. On why he could not throw a 5.25-ounce ball to the waiting soldier from in front of the pitcher's mound, Kerry remarked, "I held back, he was very nervous. I tried to lob it gently".
President Bush came to New York in October of 2001, the city still in shock from 9/11. He took the mound and raised the spirits of the city and nation with one pitch. While he wore body armor that made it difficult to lift his arms, Bush threw the 5.25-ounce ball 60 feet 6 inches for a perfect strike.

In a clutch situation, whom would you rather have on the mound?

Friday, September 17, 2004

Blog Pimp Alliance



Not sure what you are doing this weekend, but I'm joining the Blog Pimp Alliance.

Get your own pimp name here.

Football Fans for Truth 527

Check out the new 527 on the block. This one takes aim at Kerry's lack of knowledge on anything to do with real sports. The Wisconsin based group is in the process of putting up a billboard to inform the public of the threat to real sports of Kerry is elected. "John Kerry is a menace to sports fans everywhere," states Dino Panagopoulos, a Chairman for the group.


Football Fans For Truth Site

Some events they mention:

  • Last month, John Kerry lauded "Lambert Field" during a visit to Wisconsin. He has yet to acknowledge Lambeau Field, the historic home of the Green Bay Packers. (Look for a Football Fans For Truth billboard coming soon near Lambeau Field, educating Wisconsin football fans about Kerry.)
  • John Kerry also praised the Ohio State Buckeyes football team--during a visit to Michigan
  • Kerry told a radio interviewer that his favorite Red Sox player was Eddie Yost. Eddie Yost never played for the Sox. He spent most of his career with the Mets, where he earned the nickname "The Walking Man" for his ability to draw a base on balls.
  • When Kerry threw the first pitch at a Red Sox-Yankees game, he did not throw from the pitcher's mound -- yet still bounced the ball before it reached home plate. He then blamed his namby-pamby throw on the catcher, a National Guard soldier and Iraq war veteran: "I held back," Kerry told reporters. "He was very nervous. I tried to lob it gently." Conclusion: John Kerry throws a baseball worse than a girl.
  • When John Kerry was skiing, he fell. He blamed his Secret Service protection. "I don't fall down," he told reporters after the tumble.

Jeff Larroca, Director states "He is not fit to be our sports-fan-in-chief." I agree.


How to Put the A-S-S in Assault


Three-year-old Sophia Parlock cries while seated on the shoulders of her father, Phil Parlock, after having their Bush-Cheney sign torn up by Kerry-Edwards supporters on Thursday, Sept. 16, 2004, at the Tri-State Airport in Huntington, W.Va. Democratic vice presidential candidate John Edwards (news - web sites) made a brief stop at the airport as he concluded his two-day bus tour to locations in West Virginia and Ohio. (AP Photo/Randy Snyder)

I hope this guy sleeps well tonight. He must feel like a real badass, after showing a 3-year old girl he's the boss by making her cry. If I were her father, I would have taken off that ugly tie and wrapped it around this kid's neck. Real bang-up job there buddy, make a total ass of yourself right there in front of all the cameras. I give you 2 days before your name and information gets passed around the internet faster than a chair flying from the Texas Rangers bullpen.

Maybe the Kerry mob was upset that Bush is up 13 points.

As a show of unity with the little Sophia, I'm going to wear my Bush pin with my Yankees shirt on Friday as I move through New York. We should not be afraid of what others might say or do. We should not let people like this suppress our freedom of speech. I'm talking to Bush and Kerry fans: stand up and be heard, show your pride. Can I get an Amen?

As for the guy in the green cap. We know what you look like...soon we will know who you are.

Update: Washington Times article states that many in the Kerry/Edwards mob attacked this little girl.
Update: Apology from the president of the IUPAT.

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

Ted To The Rescue?



The race for the White House ended when W reported for duty at the GOP convention. Since then, the Kerry campaign has been on life support. As the polls indicate, Kerry's outlook is about as bad as a trailer park in the path of Hurricane Ivan. Bush is even gaining ground in New York, trailing 47-44 (53-35 prior to RNC). Maybe my vote will count after all.

If you are a DNC staffer the past two days must have been like watching the movie Dumb and Dumber. Dumb is running ads that use the discredited 60 Minutes story on Bush's National Guard Service. Dumber would be the decision to haul in Ted Kennedy in a vain attempt to rescue the sinking campaign. Who is running this campaign? Karl Rove?

This Kerry campaign is quickly falling to the trash heap of electoral history as Hillary licks her chops for 2008. Speaking of Hillary. She was to head up the DNC Truth Squad in New York to counter the RNC and jumped ship on day 1. After failing in an attempt to pull the plug on Bill, she has been AWOL. Hillary is smart and doesn't want to be associated with this train wreck and it looks like a majority of Americans are doing the same.

Dick Morris: No One Likes Kerry
Life after politics for Kerry: Comic or Comic Book Hero
Defeat John-John's: Kerry Khronicle Episode 3
Update: Bush up 4 in New Jersey, pulling close in Illinois, up in Pennsylvania, ahead in Ohio, on top in Minnesota, charging ahead in Wisconsin, stomping in West Virginia.

Picture note: Check out this site to learn more about Kennedy and Chappaquiddick.

Return to GOP and the City

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

You're so Liberal if... Part One

Have you ever been sitting around reading the New York Times, listening to Air America, and thought to yourself "am I a liberal"? Maybe you read Guns and Ammo, listen to Rush, and just want to make sure you are not a liberal. Help is on the way. Over the next few weeks I will be posting some ways to find out if you might indeed be a liberal. Tune in each Tuesday for a new installment. Now for part one.

You're so liberal if your view on the Iraqi war is based on Cheryl Crow songs.

You're so liberal if you are pissed because your 13 year old child cannot read, but you don't blame the teacher for not doing their job, the school system for keeping bad teachers around, teacher's union for making it impossible to fire bad teachers, or yourself. It must be the video games fault.

You're so liberal if you think Alan Colmes looks normal.

You're so liberal if you think capitalism is wrong and creates greed, but will gladly write a book or make a movie about your leftist opinion and make a few million off of it.

You're so liberal if you support the freedom of speech, unless someone disagrees with you.

You're so liberal if Al Gore's son is your drug dealer.

You are so liberal if you just got punked by the blogosphere.

You can find these and many more in the forums at Mighty Righty. I started the "You're so liberal contest" topic on March 26, 2004 and it now has over 260 entries (some funny, some not so funny). I will post more over the next few weeks. Feel free to email me additions or enter them in the comments.

Update: Thanks for the link STCA

Disclaimer: These entries are a joke. You do not have to be liberal to fall under these entries. Not all liberals subscribe to these ideals. To be fair, a "You're so righty" forum also was created (posts to date: 26). I am not a professional nor do I claim to be, if you turn out to be a liberal, seek immediate, professional help. If you base your political ideals on a song, celebrity's opinion, bumper sticker, TV show, cartoon, movie, or blog entry you are a moron and should move to Boston. Go Yankees.


The Jokes on Kerry

"The Iraqi Army is in such bad shape now,even the Italians could kick their butts." - John Kerry 1997

"This guy takes more vacations than the people on welfare" - John Kerry 1996

"When I came back from Vietnam in 1969, I don't know if John Edwards was out of diapers then." John Kerry 2004

"I got some advice for him, if someone offers you a cheesehead, don't say you want some wine, just put it on your head and take a seat at Lambeau Field." - George W Bush

Click Here for the Boston Globe article on Kerry's sense of humor (or lack thereof)

Hat Tip: Kerry Haters

Nate Nichols states that the F in John F Kerry stands for Funny

Update: Kerry will not be in a joking mood when he realizes he still trails Bush 52-44, according to the latest USA Today poll or that Bush has pushed further ahead in Wisconsin.

Monday, September 13, 2004

Reporting For Doodie

Post 9/11 Nashville was an interesting place to live. Reporters were trying to tie in Nashville as a potential terrorist target, as if Osama himself denounced the Country Music Hall of Fame. Each night we heard reports of Muslim men videotaping the airport or mysterious people lurking around potential targets. We were living in strange times and our reporters were very strange people.

When the Anthrax scare created news, one news reporter wanted to expose how open Nashville's drinking water was to this type of threat. Anyone who has watched an episode of COPS in Nashville, know there must be something in the water already. Rob Manning from News Channel 5 in Nashville dove into the story with a special report on the lack of security at the city's water supply. He was set to blow the lid off the ability of someone to sneak into the system and add Anthrax or Smallpox to our tap water. The undercover report showed how security was almost non-existent as he was able to sneak under a wire fence and noted, "It's not too hard to crawl underneath.... It took me less than 20 seconds."

This report failed to motivate the city of Nashville to act, since Rob had not entered our water supply, but instead he had broken into a sewage treatment plant. In the end, a Metro Water Department spokesperson noted "if a terrorist tried to put something in our water supply, we'd rather he end up at the sewage plant."

Click here to read the story from The Nashville Scene

Return to GOP and the City

Sunday, September 12, 2004

Show Me State Welcomes Kerry


Protestors demonstrate outside U.S. Democratic presidential nominee John Kerry (news - web sites)'s Town Hall meeting in St. Louis, Missouri, September 10, 2004. The protestor dressed up as a waffle (L), represents the Republicans view of Kerry's stance on the war in Iraq (news - web sites). (REUTERS/Jim Young US ELECTION)

Notice how Reuters thinks you would be dumb enough to think the lady on the right (R) was dressed as a waffle. Also "waffles" represent my view on all of Kerry's many stances, not just Iraq. In fact, only 29% of voters think Kerry has a clear stand on the issues, of course 30% of voters still think Loverboy kicks ass.

click to enlarge

Check out this site, Kerry Waffles

USA Today/CNN/Gallup Poll: Bush is up 55-41 in Missouri. Only 27% think Kerry would be a good president. How you like them apples?

Friday, September 10, 2004

Dan Rather Exclusive


Click on the image above to view
Newsman Dan Rather was all over the memos about W's National Guard duty on 60 Minutes II. His investigative reporting failed to notice that the fonts used in the memos did not exist when the memo was supposed to have been written. He failed to detect a lie when Ben Barnes said "I was lieutenant governor of Texas" when he pulled strings to get Bush into the TX Guard in 1968, even though he was not lieutenant governor of Texas until 1969. He failed to notice that the signature on the memo does not match a previous memo by the same author. The Blog Nation did not drink the kool-aid Dan was serving. Old media cannot tell us their bogus stories anymore, new media has taken over. Viva-La Blog.

Here at GOP and the City we have unearthed Dan Rather's 2nd grade report card. Looks like Mr. Rather had poor hygiene and was a below average student. Some things never change.

Click Here for the report Dan Rather does not want you to see.
Click Here for Powerline's article that unleashed blogosphere onto Rather's lies.
The Politburo Diktat use the same technique to prove Kerry was in Cambodia.
Jay Currie wrote an article detailing the smackdown Blogs put on CBS.
The Weekly Standard previews next week's 60 Minutes story.
Kerry campaign is in full-spin mode. Tick-tock-tick-tock
More from The Belmont Club.
Allah wraps it up.

Return to GOP and the City

Legal: The report card is a fake (I will admit that), but Dan Rather does smell bad.

New Tax City

A study finds that people in New York pay the most taxes in the country. People in Tennessee pay the least. Come on Tennessee, pick up the slack.
Another study reports that the Boston Red Sox suck.

Thursday, September 09, 2004

Daily Caption Contest - 1st Prize

Wednesday, I won first prize for the Daily Caption on this picture:

Never turn your back on a 400lb whore named Rita.

Update: Thursday, I got 2nd place for my entry on this one:

Former New Jersey Governor, Jim McGreevey enjoys his new job as a football coach. His players call him a real "hands-on" coach.

9/11 Concert Called Off

A concert in Russia, slated for 9/11, has been called off. The concert by the "Little Suicide Bomber", was to was to sing about Muslim hardships, three years to the date since 3,000 people were killed by Islamic terrorist in New York. The show was cancelled following the massacre at the school in Breslan.

If this was not bad enough, the tickets for the show were made to look like plane tickets. The person behind this, Ivan Shapovalov, also brought us Tatu, the Russian lesbian singers. He called this concert "the terror concert".

Click here for the story

Click here for a tribute to those killed on 9/11

The Bush Doctrine vs Kerry's Sensitive War

Look at the fear in the eyes of this young boy. Thankfully he made it out with only minor injuries. The woman and child next to him were not as lucky, they were some of the hundreds who were slaughtered by these terrorists. That's right, these are not separatist, activist, or rebels. These are just cold-blooded terrorists and they should be sent to Allah in the most expedient manner possible. That's how you deal with these animals. See, you cannot ask the UN to help or play nice, hoping they will leave you alone. They don't speak that language. The only language they understand is force. Just ask the Taliban and Saddam, it's hard to support terrorism if you are dodging the might of the United States military.

We welcome Russia to the real-world solution for terror, The Bush Doctrine. Take out the terrorists where they live so you do not have to deal with them on your own soil. No matter if it's a train station in Moscow, a school in Belsan, or office buildings in lower Manhattan. Do whatever it takes to destroy the terrorist network before they get a chance hit you.

How would John Kerry deal with a threat, just take his word for it: "Let there be no mistake: I will never hesitate to use force when it is required. Any attack will be met with a swift and certain response". This would be The Clinton Doctrine, which brought us only more attacks. Kerry also let us know how he would fight these murders: "I believe I can fight a more effective, more thoughtful, more strategic, more proactive, more sensitive war on terror" . What is Kerry going to do, play Kenny G for the terrorists? Take a poll in Russia and see which course of action they want to take. Kenny G Kerry or Bush Doctrine?

When Liberal Media Attack

Click here to see how the Protest Warriors took on the media.

With new polls showing Bush pulling ahead in Missouri, Arizona, Ohio, and showing Kerry's 20 point lead in New Jersey is down to 4 points. With Kerry's team being turned over more than Ken Jennings opponents on Jeopardy. With all this, the media has taken up the slack from Kerry's campaign and started the attack. With two months to go, the bias in the media will become even more apparent than ever.

Round 1 - Bush was AWOL
The same morning shows, who all but ignored 270 veterans who served with Kerry, put the story of Bush being AWOL from the National Guard as the #1 story of the day. The lead attack dog for the media is Ben Barnes, a close friend to John Kerry, who is a vice-chairmen on the Kerry/Edwards campaign, and who has donated $100,000 to have Kerry elected. I would not place much hope that the media will look into these ties with the same vigor in their failed attempt to discredit the Swift Vets.

Round 2 - Kitty Kelly "Book"
This book was so shady, Newsweek editor, Mark Whitaker refused to write about it because "We weren't comfortable with a lot of the reporting". This degenerate tabloid will supposedly contain sordid stories about alleged cocaine use and even take aim at the lovable Laura Bush. Kitty Kelly has other books that claim Ronald Reagan was a date-rapist and Nancy Reagan had an affair with Frank Sinatra. This trash will get a three-day spread on the Today show, no word if the Bat Boy or Elvis will also be invited.

Update: Kitty Kelly book already discredited.




Wednesday, September 08, 2004

LA Times: November 3, 2004

Cartoon Nazi takes a look at what the LA Times will look like on November 3rd, with either a Kerry win or Bush Win. Enjoy.

Kerry wins (not likely)


LA Times when Bush wins!


Don't Mess With the Union


A heckler, shouting at John Kerry about Vietnam war atrocities, was manhandled by sheetmetal workers sitting nearby and escorted from the building.
(Photo by Michael E. Keating/The Enquirer)

This guy is voting for Bush, but he probably has to eat through a straw after the sheetmetal workers were done with him.

Kerry On Iraq

Click Here to try and understand what Kerry's position on Iraq is. Remember, this man wants to command our country and set our path on the war on terror.

''Today marks a tragic milestone in the war in Iraq; more than 1,000 of America's sons and daughters have now given their lives on behalf of their country, on behalf of freedom, the war on terror'' - John Kerry (9/7/2004)

"wrong war in the wrong place at the wrong time" - John Kerry (9/7/2004)

"...the administration launched the war in the wrong way, at the wrong time" - Howard Dean (12/15/2003)

John Kerry's response to Dean's "Wrong way, wrong time" comment:

"those who doubted whether Iraq or the world would be better off without Saddam Hussein, and those who believe today that we are not safer with his capture, don't have the judgment to be president or the credibility to be elected president." - John Kerry (12/16/2003)

NBC News, Meet the Press, August 31, 2003
SEN. KERRY: By whatever number of billions of dollars it takes to win. It is critical that the United States of America be successful in Iraq

"I would not have made the wrong choices that are forcing us to pay nearly the entire cost of this war more than $200 billion that we're not investing in education, health care and job creation here at home." - John Kerry (9/7/2004)

John Kerry: Wrong man for the wrong time



Tuesday, September 07, 2004

Kerry Comes Out Shooting

(AP) In West Virginia, Cecil Roberts, president of the United Mine Workers of America, gave Kerry a rifle as a gift. Kerry, a self-described gun-owner and hunter, quipped: "I thank you for the gift, but I can't take it to the debate with me."

Let's now play the fun Republican game "Imagine if Bush said this". Post a comment on what you think the AP headline would read.

Update: The gun Kerry is shown proudly holding....he voted to ban it. Classic.

What to Expect From the Left

Question: Your candidate, who you have been doing your best to sweep into the White House, is falling in the polls. His campaign team has been turned over more times than a hooker during Mardi Gras. He failed to register a bounce after months of positive spin from the media, Michael Moore, picking a VP who was to bring life back into the campaign, and the DNC convention. Your favorite candidate is now taking money from 6-year olds. Last week, the opponent registered a double-digit bounce from their convention and broke open a lead, even the NY Mets could not give up. What do you do?

For the answer, I looked no farther than the Kerry Campaign newsletter, the newspaper of choice if you do not have time for more than one view, Newsday. I do not pay money for this rag, I read it for free (which is still too much to pay). A neighbor said that he uses Newsday to wipe his ass in the morning.

This Sunday's Newsday showed how far old-media has fallen to the left. Their follow-up coverage of the GOP convention started on page 3, with an editorial. The title of the "commentary", Grand Old Party of Muggers, states that the GOP mugged John Kerry of his identity, like a gang. It did not stop there, other editorials were A Macho-bimbo Connection, Whole lotta flippin' and a floppin', Peaceful but potent, and the left-leaning Letters to the Editor. If you really want a Clinton-coronary just read Jimmy Breslin's columns.

Cancel your subscription to Newsday, today. You can save your time and money by just printing out the talking points put out by the Kerry/Clinton/Gore/Dukakis people. Use those to wipe your ass in the morning instead.



Saturday, September 04, 2004

Media Bias at AP Exposed. Booo

Here is the story. AP runs story on Clinton's condition. Mentions Kerry reaction, then mentions what happens at a Bush rally.

WEST ALLIS, Wis. - President Bush (news - web sites) on Friday wished Bill Clinton (news - web sites) "best wishes for a swift and speedy recovery." "He's is in our thoughts and prayers," Bush said at a campaign rally. Bush's audience of thousands in West Allis, Wis., booed. Bush did nothing to stop them. Bush offered his wishes while campaigning one day after accepting the presidential nomination at the Republican National Convention in New York. Clinton was hospitalized in New York after complaining of mild chest pain and shortness of breath. Bush recently praised Clinton when the former president went to the White House for the unveiling of his official portrait. He lauded Clinton for his knowledge, compassion and "the forward-looking spirit that Americans like in a president."

There were no "boos". The AP was called on it and retracted the story, replacing it with:
The crowd reacted with applause and with some "ooohs," apparently surprised by the news that Clinton was ill.

Other media outlets have had to post retractions like: West Allis, Wis. (AP) NOTE: This is a correction to an incorrect story posted by AP on Friday stating the crowd booed the President when he sent his good wishes. The crowd, in fact, did NOT boo.

Other have not.

Instapundit covers it.
Powerline has a great post.
Video of rally. no boos.

Kerry Kamp Passing Out Grape Kool-Aid

Tad Devine, John Kerry's senior advisor reacting to questions about the Swift Boat ads and their effectiveness stated: "Fundamentally, I don't think they reshaped the race at all," Devine said. "If they did, the president would be 10 points ahead, not in a dead-heat horse race."

Time: Bush 52, Kerry 41
Newsweek: Bush 54, Kerry 43

Then in a unrelated story. John Kerry has found a new fundraising source...toddlers.

“And I'll tell you another. Two nights ago — a few nights ago, I was in Philadelphia. And I got introduced to this tussle-haired little kid. The guy came — he came up to about here on me. Tiny little kid. But he showed me this picture. And it was a picture of him sitting out in the street where he was during the summer, with a sign and a table. At the table, he had some bracelets. And the sign said "Kerry for President."
And this little six-year-old kid had gotten his nine-year-old brother to make the bracelets for him, and he was selling the bracelets.
And this six-year-old kid came up to me with a Tupperware container, handed it to me with $680 to change America — to change America."
- John Kerry

Yes, John Kerry took money from a 6-year old. And he says "and" 7 times.




Friday, September 03, 2004

Miller Takes Out Matthews



Text of Zell Miller's Speech
Clip of Miller - Matthews "Interview"
Poll: Who would win Miller-Matthews duel



Bush Pitches, Kerry Wiffs

As Bush wrapped up his vision for the next four years, Kerry was back on the trail, once again, failing to tell the truth. His late night speech was so bad, so full of whine and cheese, that he did everything shy of taking a dump on the stage and mopping it up with John Edwards' hair. His poor attitude and lack of any vision has the Hair Pair in utter free-fall in the polls, with no end in sight.

Kerry did offer this bit of humor: "I'll tell you what happened tonight that will be remembered," said Kerry. "The Boston Red Sox moved to within 2.5 games of the New York Yankees." But according to Major League Baseball, the Yankees are 3.5 games ahead of the Boston Red Sox as of last night.

Update: Don't you wish we did away with the Electoral College and let the people on AOL choose? AOL Straw Poll

Dubya Takes New York

Forget November 2nd for a moment. Last night, as our president recalled the horror of September 11th, he won New York. For a little over an hour, President Bush, stated why we need to have him in office for a second term. There is indication from the media he did just that. We have two months to go, lets roll.

During his speech, Bush stated one of the most powerful lines I have ever heard him, or any speaker deliver. He said: "My fellow Americans, for as long as our country stands, people will look to the resurrection of New York City and they will say: Here buildings fell, and here a nation rose." As tears started to build in his eyes, you looked into the soul of our president for the next four years.

Text of speech


Thursday, September 02, 2004

Pretty In Pink

His shirt reads "My Bush could've made a better president".

When Protesters Attack

W: Swear Him In Tonight

When President Bush takes the stage tonight, someone should haul out a bible and swear him in for another 4 years. His speech tonight comes on the heels of more poll numbers that show him starting to pull clear of the train-wreck known as the Kerry/Edwards campaign. The John's would do more for their party faithful if they just spared them the remaining months of whining and moaning, send back the donations, and start defrosting Hillary for 2008.

Zell Miller gave the eulogy for the present Democratic party at the Republican convention last night. He will die a Democrat long after the vestiges of this current shell of a party melt away into obscurity. What we saw last night was a man who would not swallow what the democrats were offering. Somewhere on the campaign trail, John Kerry applied for his fourth purple heart after the shelling he took from his fellow democrat.

Cheney's speech was interrupted, but he stayed on track. Any rumors of his departure were put to rest by his speech and the reception by the rocus crowd. He delivered his speech in true Cheney fashion. I am glad he is on our side for another 4 years.


Wednesday, September 01, 2004

New Yorkers: Take Back Our Streets

It's ironic that protesters from Seattle are yelling at NYPD officers to "go home".
I spoke with a delegate from Iowa on Tuesday. He told me another delegate from his state was out with his son and came across some protesters. One of the protesters asked if they supported Bush, the delegate said he did. Because he had a different opinion, the protester dumped water on the man and his son. Other delegates have been pushed and spit on. One man, whose only crime was that he was wearing a suit, was yelled at and pushed because the mob thought he was a delegate. He had a job, unlike most of the crowd, and wanted to get home.

A word to the law-breaking protesters. You have injured our police officers, driven off tourists, snarled traffic, filled our jails, prevented ambulances from getting to their calls, and exposed yourself for the losers which you are. Get out of our city and go back to where you came from. I hear Boston is nice this time of year.

I told the man from Iowa that a New Yorker did not pour water on that man and his kid. That's because New Yorkers are all out of town this week.