Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Holiday Caption Contest

Holiday Caption Contest

I understand, Santa, but if you're going to fly into Blue State airspace wearing that outfit, you're going to have problems.

Yes, in "Blue States" Santa must pay equal homage to the festivals of Christmas, Kwanzaa, Chanukah, and Festivus. The ACLU also noted that his reindeer were to masculine sounding, so Vixon was replaced by Sally and Donner is now Donna due to a transgender issue. Imagine a multi-cultural Santa wearing a yarmulke, airing grievances, while lighting the Kwanzaa candles.
This quote reminds me of a scene in Canadian Bacon where John Candy and his armed pals were "invading" Canada in a garbage truck with "Die Canada" and other insults painted on the side. A Canadian police officer pulls them over and informs them that in Quebec, all signs must be in both English and French. He then helps them spray paint "Die Canada" en francais and sends them on their way.

Honorable Mention
'Twas the night before Christmas', when all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that ST. NICHOLAS soon would be there;
While the kids all slept with their eyes closed shut;
Christmas was canceled, The FAA had grounded Santa's fat butt.

Santa then booked a flight on Comair and all the presents ended up in Philly, Santa was grounded in Cleveland.