Wednesday, October 06, 2004

Kerry Haters Contest!

This is a joke and part of a contest over at Kerry Haters.
Click Here for more details

-Excerpt taken from the October 2004 Cowgirl Monthly magazine.

CGM: Could you tell our readers about your background with horses and more specifically your time as a cowgirl?
Kerry: Yes, I was once a cowgirl - wild and free. Back in the day, I did my share of sheep-roping and cattle-branding, I was all about that. To tell the truth, you know why you do not see more cowgirls today? It is a sad story but to tell the truth, the Bush administration and their failed economic agenda have forced these young girls into a second or third job. They have no time to herd cattle. While Theresa and I get a grandiose tax-cut...a single cowgirl and mother of three, who I met in Delaware gets nothing at all. That is not right, just not what I believe, and we need a fresh start. That is what I am talking about. Have I mentioned Vietnam yet?
CGM: No Senator, but let me...
Kerry: As I was saying. When I was in Vietnam, serving my country. We had a pet horse we called Du-Dit. Du-Dit was a gift from a Navy SEAL who we took into Cambodia. One day we were going down the river and a prodigious VC attack forced me to mount Du-Dit and lead a solo cavalry charge, up a hill, under heavy gunfire, at night, and uhhh while it was raining, and the wind was blowing. To tell the truth, I did most of the work, you know where I am coming from. Well we won and I killed more VC than I care to count.
CGM: What happened to Du-Dit?
Kerry: During my cavalry charge, Du-Dit scrapped a hoof on a rock. Well I put in for a purple heart for Du-Dit. Well see, the Navy does not handle purple hearts the same way that they did my three purple-hearts, which I won in Vietnam along with a SilverStar and a Bronze Star. To tell the truth, Du-Dit was put to sleep. Actually when I went before Congress and said 'how can you ask someone to be the last to die for a mistake', I was referring to Du-Dit. See, it was a mistake to deny a purple heart for that horse.
CGM: Thank you Senator and God bless Du-Dit.