Tuesday, August 17, 2004

"The Story"

A Republican living in New York is alot like a coke addict, about to hit rock bottom. We have to lie and deceive people in order to hide our political ideals. Just recently I had to tell my boss and co-workers that I was going to Long Island week of the Republican Convention. If I told them that I would be wearing a "Republican's Kick Ass" pin and rubbing elbows with GOPers from all over the country...I would have been laughed at and looked down upon. My co-workers like to make fun of Republicans almost as much as they do the NY Mets. It is sad but true, however much the Mets deserve it.

Being a Republican in New York is hard; you really have to know how to blend in and try not to show your cards. Being a young-male-single Republican is even more difficult. Case and point: I was on a date with a very liberal girl, as we headed across the Brooklyn Bridge, she blurts out a diatribe about Bush is bullying the world..blah..blah. She then asked me what I think. I actually had to develop a story (on the spot) to hide my Republican beliefs, while making her think I cared about what she just said. I was amazed because: a) "the story" worked b) she never suspected a thing c) she must have thought I was both wise and liberal (if that is even possible). "The Story" worked so well that I adapted it and used it on another date, a job interview, and even in a conversation with a coworker. I should publish "The Story" and sell it through GOP blogs. Here are some working titles I came up with: "Pick-up Lines For Liberal Chicks", "Idiots Guide to Speaking Liberal Without Speaking Like A Liberal", or "GOP and the City". Let me know which one I should go for. By the way, "The Story" details Theodore Roosevelt's use of the Monroe Doctrine to send the Navy and Marines to South America to block an attempt by the German government to collect on some debts, almost sparking a war. Stating that sometimes the US puts its nose into places it does not belong. If you want more, buy the book.

Epilog: I am now engaged to a wonderful, but very non-Republican NY girl. I am free to expose my Republican ideals and not care about what she thinks. Instead of "The Story" I gave her my real opinion, she called me a stupid bigot.

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