Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Digital Redshirts

Walking down 5th avenue one day and I get stopped by this kid in a red shirt holding a clipboard. On the clipboard is a "Beat Bush" sticker. He asks me "Do you want to sign up to Beat Bush this November?" I reply "No, I do not" and keep walking. This is a major accomplishment since I have been hit with a genetic trait thatforces me to confront people like that. There was a case where I confronted a guy with a "_uck Bush" sign outside a movie theater...well that is another story.

Back to the redshirts...a few days later, I was heading into the 51st and Lex subway station and there were a pack of these redshirts around the entrance. They were not handing out RiteAid flyers or Metro Newspapers, but enlisting people in Kerry's army. I ran into them again, around the corner at the Citigroup building during the whole terror alert. "Want to sign up to beat Bush?" I was too busy checking out all the cops with machine guns to say anything smart.

Question: Why have these people stationed in New York? Would it make more sense to drop these redshirts behind enemy lines (anywhere between Las Vegas and Philadelphia). New York is not a battleground state. John Kerry knows it, he was seen throwing a baseball like a girl before cheering on the Red Sox against the Yankees. He knows New York is a lock, someone pass on the information to the redshirt brigade.