Thursday, December 30, 2004

Dirty Dog Caption Contest

Two women, Rose Skorge, 34, and Catherina Scalia, 38 were busted by cops on Long Island for offering sexual activity from the back of their mobile hot dog stand. According to the reports, the women would proposition customers when they visited the stand. On a tip (or referral), undercover cops visited the truck and Ms. Scalia said she would expose her breast for $50. When the officer refused she then threw in various sexual favors for the same $50. The two women were later arrested; there is also an investigation into why this particular hot dog stand was given 5 stars in the 2005 Zagat restaurant guide.

New York Post Article
Newsday Article

Winner
Shawn

If you think that Japanese kid could suck down weiners at Coney Island, wait 'til you get a load of us!

Takeru Kobayashi, the 132-pound lightweight/heavyweight who ate 53.5 hotdogs in 12 minutes. His nickname, "The Tsunami". Time to come up with another nickname.

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

Eats, Shoots, and Loses



John Kerry: Our 44th President
This book is listed on Barnes and Noble's website as costing $28.50 and will be released in March of 2005. According to Blogs For Bush, production has been cancelled. No word if Hillary Clinton: Our Fourty-Fourth President will be released instead.

File this under the Kiddie section, as the age level is listed at ages 9-12 on Amazon.com.

(Amazon.com)

Hat Tip - Blogs for Bush

It's Official...again

Bush Wins Ohio...again

The final recount in Ohio has been completed and John Kerry is still a loser. The recount results, reported by the AP, has Kerry gaining 734 votes and Bush gaining 449 votes in the recount for a net gain in Kerry's favor of 285 votes. Instead of losing by 118,775, Kerry ended up losing Ohio by 118,490 votes.

The recount cost taxpayers $1,500,000 which is $5,263 per recounted vote.

Here is the revised map of the 2004 election:


Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Holiday Caption Contest

Holiday Caption Contest




Winner
Sobek
I understand, Santa, but if you're going to fly into Blue State airspace wearing that outfit, you're going to have problems.



Yes, in "Blue States" Santa must pay equal homage to the festivals of Christmas, Kwanzaa, Chanukah, and Festivus. The ACLU also noted that his reindeer were to masculine sounding, so Vixon was replaced by Sally and Donner is now Donna due to a transgender issue. Imagine a multi-cultural Santa wearing a yarmulke, airing grievances, while lighting the Kwanzaa candles.
This quote reminds me of a scene in Canadian Bacon where John Candy and his armed pals were "invading" Canada in a garbage truck with "Die Canada" and other insults painted on the side. A Canadian police officer pulls them over and informs them that in Quebec, all signs must be in both English and French. He then helps them spray paint "Die Canada" en francais and sends them on their way.

Honorable Mention
Me
'Twas the night before Christmas', when all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that ST. NICHOLAS soon would be there;
While the kids all slept with their eyes closed shut;
Christmas was canceled, The FAA had grounded Santa's fat butt.


Santa then booked a flight on Comair and all the presents ended up in Philly, Santa was grounded in Cleveland.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Blue State Bigotry On Sale


The sellers of these bigoted t-shirts are putting them on sale in time for Christmas. Ho Ho Ho, they are also offering free shipping...from their New York apartment address. I wonder if they are having problems moving their products, since they had to cut prices 25%? You see, bitching about the 2004 election is so 2004. In all, 99% of America has moved on to complaining about the weather or how the Red Sox still suck. The other 1% are morons, or someone trying to sell morons a lame-ass t-shirt.
As for the "Red State Redneck" shirt, I have met the biggest redneck of all time. Alas, it was not while I was growing up outside of Nashville. No, not even when I was going to college in a hick-town in rural West Tennessee. Not until I moved to New York did I meet this "Blue State Redneck". He was sporting acid-washed cutoff blue jean shorts, a NASCAR t-shirt, and a rat-tail/mullet-thing I have yet to fully comprehend. I could only understand every third word that came out of his blue-state mouth, but I did pick up that he was making fun of my southern accent (nice "New York Neckwarmer" buddy).

Photoshop Entries

Original

Photoshop Results

1) Sobek



2) Bassfire



3) The Man


4) Matt Margolis


5) Russ -notice "Angry Bert" is now Kerry...


6) add925

7) speedaddiction

8) Dan


9) atomicpossum

10) johnny g


Honorable Mention

(Sobek)

(Echo Talon)

(Echo Talon)

(The Man)

(The Man)

(Pusterfuss)

(J, L, CR & TJ MORRISON)

(GOP&College)

(GSEWE)

Monday, December 20, 2004

Group Protests Election Results...For Tennessee?

''The presidential election was tampered with, if not stolen outright, even here in Tennessee it's clear that (President George W.) Bush had a lot of support here, but it's not clear that he had enough support to warrant a 17% margin of victory.'' - Bernie Ellis (idiot)

It was a cold weekend in Nashville and I was in town to visit friends and family. As we toured the Ryman and browsed around the gift shops, a group (a few blocks away) was protesting the 2004 election results for Tennessee. Another protester was there in support of the Constitution party and their problems getting on some ballots. In all, just 75 people came out to protest and The Tennessean gave these idiots a story. Where is the story about the estimated 5,841,673 Tennesseans who did not come out to protest?

CNN reports that Bush is still leading John Kerry (in Tennessee) by an impressive 348,761 votes with 100% of the precincts reporting. Bush leads the Constitution party candidate by 1,379,414 votes.

Thursday, December 16, 2004

Am I Going To Hell?

Al Gore's mother died. She was 92 and lived a long and productive life. She did give us Al Gore, so she was not perfect. In honor of her, The Tennessean put out a forum for people to pay their respects to Momma Gore. I posted this:



Am I going to hell? Post your comments below.

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Saddam -a- GoGo

Caption a Dictator Contest

Winner
Sobek
Maybe it's for the best that Mark Geragos didn't return my calls.


Monday, December 13, 2004

For Sale: Bush Monkey Art



Having trouble finding something to buy for that special loved one? Boy, do we have the gift for you. For only $3,500 you can have a copy of Chris Savido's "Bush Monkeys". This fine work of art is painted on a small acrylic on canvas using monkeys swiming in a marsh to form the face of President Bush.

Bush-haters have officially gone from angry to out-right loony.

Friday, December 10, 2004

Caption Hillary - Part 1

Caption Hillary Contest

Winner
Shawn
Hillary: "Eww . . . tastes like Monica."


Check back for another contest starting on Tuesday!

Thursday, December 09, 2004

My Favorite Link



In Jimmy's last column, he predicted a big John Kerry win: "So I go to bed with total confidence. ... And I leave today as the only one in America who from the start was sure John Kerry would win by a large margin,"

Alas, you can still find his name on the Newsday website. Click on the picture above to see what comes up. I love it.


Monday, November 29, 2004

Blogger Update

Sorry I have not posted in awhile. My fiancé and I are doing our best to spur the economy by purchasing a house. No new home is complete without man's best friend, so we also bought a dog.

Daisy, our 10-week old Cockapoo.

Saturday, November 20, 2004

President Bush To The Rescue

While walking into a dinner with the leaders of 21 countries, President Bush realized one of his trusted security guards was in trouble. The guard was caught in a scrum with Chilean security officials who refused to let the agent in. Our president, seen in the picture below, lunged into a volatile situation in order came to the aid of one of his security detail.

When I was a volunteer at the Republican National Convention, one of my co-volunteers was a guy who was retired from the military. He had served his last four years as a medic on Marine-One (2 years under Clinton, 2 years under President Bush). He said the two men treated the men aboard that helicopter much differently. While Clinton was not rude, he did not show the respect and admiration that President Bush always had for these men. With Clinton it was a handshake and he was gone. Bush would know their names and ask them personal questions. On his last day, my co-volunteer buddy was called into the Oval Office and President Bush had a genuine talk with him, man-to-man. That is one reason this guy came from South Carolina to spend a few days in New York to volunteer for President Bush and the convention.

Not to drag that loser, John Kerry, into this. But remember when on of his security agents caused Monsieur Kerry to take a fall while snowboarding? Kerry called the agent a "son-of-a-b_ _ _ _". And that is why it is refreshing to know that we have four more years of someone who would put his neck on the line, to come to the aid of someone who is paid to put their neck on the line. Viva Bush.


Friday, November 19, 2004

Newsday: Economy Does Not Suck

LI's jobless rate: How low can it go
As unemployment falls to 3.7 percent last month, some experts warn shortage of labor may be ahead

Long Island's Liberal rag, Newsday, admitted today that the economy is not as bad as it had reported during the election cycle. The Long Island unemployment rate fell to 3.7%. The daily's editorial/news stories painted a bleak picture just a few weeks ago. Now the paper reports that the lowest unemployment rate since October 2001 has actually produced "full employment" - which is the point at which the economy is generating enough jobs to accommodate nearly everyone who is looking. Now experts are cautioning that the expanding economy (which was called a recession before November 2nd) is going to create a labor shortage.

In other news, an audit showed that Newsday's circulation is down 98,000 from a year ago. The paper is cutting 100 workers from its newsroom. I wonder how they feel about that low unemployment rate now?

New York In a Red State of Mind?

My buddy Thomas Galvin has some great number crunching posts here and here on Bush's 2004 results in New York City compared to 2000. In all 5 boroughs of New York, Bush gained ground, while Kerry lost Gore votes in all but one. While Bush lost the city, hands down, he did make a stronger showing than 2000. All this, with almost no advertising, no (non-fund-raiser) campaign stops, a liberal local media, and a ballot that included a weak GOP candidate for the US Senate and sparse candidates for local offices.

Maybe this blog had something to do with it. Hey Karl Rove lets talk, email me.




Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Linda Ronstadt is a Douche-bag

"People don't realize that by voting Republican, they voted against themselves," she says. Of Iraq in particular, she adds, "I worry that some people are entertained by the idea of this war. They don't know anything about the Iraqis, but they're angry and frustrated in their own lives. It's like Germany, before Hitler took over. The economy was bad and people felt kicked around. They looked for a scapegoat. Now we've got a new bunch of Hitlers."
-Linda Ronstadt

It's amazing that the loony-left is still spouting absurd garbage like this. As the election showed, they are not relevant. The millions of dollars, rock tours, and mockumentary films they put out had no effect on the American people, unlike them we can think on our own.

(Hat Tip - LGF)

Hillary T-Shirts For Sale

Click Here to buy your official Marc Jacobs 'Hillary' t-shirt. For only $38.50, you can show everyone how liberal and elite you are. Those red-state people with their moral values, will be shocked and awed by your political statement. Don't be sad that your candidate was a loser in 2004 or that your party lost more seats in both the Senate and House, you can take it all in stride with Hillary gear. What are you waiting for?

On another note, Target is selling a t-shirt without Hillary's face on it, for only $9.00.



Monday, November 15, 2004

What You Can Do

What You Can Do
Here are a couple of programs the average citizen can do to help our troops and to say "up yours Osama":
1) Help Our Troops Call Home
- The Department of Defense announced that individuals or organizations can buy prepaid phone cards through the Armed Services Exchanges for troops who are deployed.

Click the link to buy phone card(s) for:
Individual family member, friend, or loved one
Troops Deployed in Enduring Freedom and Iraqi Freedom
Air Force Members and their families
Troops wounded in action
Sailors, Marines and their families in need
Military members participating in USO Programs

2) Operation Gratitude (USO Care Packages)
The USO is sending out care packages to our troops. The government wants to free up some of the pipeline for packages sent directly from the families of soldiers, so people are putting together packages and the USO are going to ship them to the bases to give out as the troops are being deployed or who are between missions in Iraq. They ask to use baggies (from gallon sized ziplock bags) with goodies inside, for security reasons. The USO also has partnerships with trucking companies, who can pick up shipments on their way through, if they have space...free of charge.

My sister put out a box to start a drive at her workplace, The Princeton Review in New Jersey. Word spread and the next day, the box was full. Word continued to spread and she now needs an office to hold all the donations.
Care Package Wish List:
New DVDs, CDs and players, Disposable Cameras, AT&T Prepaid Phone Cards, Handheld electronic games, Puzzles, Word Game and Crossword books, Battery Operated Fans, Misty Mates or other cooling products, Commercially wrapped individual packets of Trail Mix, Beef Jerky, Nuts, Cookies, Energy Bars, Sunflower Seeds, Candy, Ready To Eat Tuna or Chicken Salad kits, Boxes of Girl Scout Cookies, Packets of Powdered Cold Beverage,s, Commercially sealed Lip Balm, Individual packets of moist towelettes, Packets of Stationary, Novelty Items, New Knit Hats and Gloves, New T-shirts (sizes Large and Extra Large), Travel Size containers of Foot Powder, Tobacco Products, Unsealed personal cards and letters

3) Books for Soldiers
Books for Soldiers provides used books and DVDs to our soldiers. The website will provide names and addresses for sending a care package. It is perfect use for those books you will not read again.
UPDATE: I picked a Marine to send a package to: Lcpl Brian Hooper. I'm sending books, CDs, and a few DVDs. In the package, I will include a card. Please add any comments you would like to include in the card in the comments section below or email me.
(Hat Tip - Shawn from Middie Back)

If you know of another program I can add to this list, please send me an email or leave a comment below.

Saturday, November 13, 2004

CBS Fires Producer



"An overly aggressive CBS News producer jumped the gun..."

With that CBS fired the producer...for interupting CSI to break the news that Yasser Arafat was dead. This is the same network, who has not fired anyone in response to the fake documents story put out by an overly aggressive CBS News producer who jumped the gun.

Friday, November 12, 2004

Red Country



Square miles of counties won
Bush - 2,500,000
Kerry - 511,700



Thursday, November 11, 2004

RIP: Socialized Healthcare (1994-2004)

Tennessee Gov. Phil Bredesen (D) has announced his intentions to pull the plug on the failed healthcare monster called TennCare. The $7.8 billion a year program could cost the state 91% of new tax dollars in 2008. ''TennCare was, and is, a wonderful dream,'' Bredesen said. ''It appears this morning that the dream is over".

Back in 1994, the state of Tennessee swept the entire population on Medicade and a number of uninsured citizens into the new program called TennCare. Under TennCare, the enrollees would be covered under a managed care program administered by private managed care organizations, which would offer a comprehensive benefit package determined by the state. The state, in turn, would pay managed care organizations a flat fee per member per month, called a capitation payment.

The mismanaged program was ripe with errors, one being massive fraud. To be eligible for TennCare, you must be a Tennessee resident...but a PO Box was all that was needed to claim residency and enter the program. There were no audits or measures established to stop people from other states and even other countries from opening a PO Box and enjoying free healthcare. An independent audit found that even dead people from West Palm Beach, Florida were enrolled in TennCare. A 2002 audit showed that nearly 20,000 people were enrolled in TennCare who lived out of state, 130,000 had only a PO Box for an address, prisoners were enrolled, and some people were enrolled more than once. The program would also enroll people automatically if they lost their healthcare, while making it difficult to impossible for people to get out. One family reported that their newborn baby was enrolled without their knowledge.

The fraud reached all levels, including a cab company who was paid to transport patients to and from doctor visits, and ended up over billing TennCare for millions of taxpayer dollars. In October a couple of ladies were arrested after being caught selling drugs they obtained through TennCare. Doctors and Pharmacist were also being investigated for multiple billings for one service, receiving kickbacks in return for medical service, Dispensing generic drugs then billing the MCO for expensive brand-name drugs, and billing the program for services that were never performed.

First Arafat, now TennCare. It's turning out to be a pretty good week.

Click here for the TN Tax Revolt audit of TennCare
Bill Hobbs adds his insight
Nashville Files thinks Bredesen will replace TennCare with another TennCare-like program

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

USMC

"God has a hard on for Marines, because we kill everything we see. He plays His games, we play ours. To show our appreciation for so much power, we keep heaven packed with fresh souls. God was here before the Marine Corps, so you can give your heart to Jesus, but your ass belongs to the corps." - Full Metal Jacket

God speed and good luck to the men of the USMC. Give them hell boys.

Monday, November 08, 2004

Send Him Home

A DJ for a Long Island Classic Rock station was so sure that Bush was going to be sent home to Crawford on November 2nd that he stated he would leave his job if the outcome was any different. Well, Bush won and Greg has put in his two-week notice. The station, WRCN, is holding a poll letting the voters choose if Greg should go or not. Initial tallies show that it is not looking well for Greg, voting ends on November 12th. To vote, click here and then click on the American map with "Decision Glenn 2004" to the right.

Maybe Greg can join the flocks heading to Canada.

(Hat Tip - Polipundit)

Update: As of Thursday (11/11) the vote is 84-16% for him to go.

Friday, November 05, 2004

Canada For Dummies

Here is a little Canada information for all you libs out there who want to flee our great nation because your hopes of a liberal utopia were dashed by 60 million stupid Americans. Please, don't stop and think about staying, go now. The United States will not miss you and I am sure Canada is great this time of year.

Population: 31,946,316 (not including polar bears)
Language: English 59.3% (official), French 23.2% (official), other 17.5%
Life expectancy: male:76.02 years/ female:83 years (sorry guys)
Population growth rate: 1.02% (2000 est.)
National holiday: Canada Day, July 1st
Political parties: Bloc Quebecois, Liberal Party, New Democratic Party, Progressive Conservative Party, Reform Party
Geography: second-largest country in world (after Russia); strategic location between Russia and US via north polar route; nearly 90% of the population is concentrated within 160 km of the US/Canada border.
Inflation rate: 1.7%
Unemployment Rate:
7.1% (USA - 5.5%)
Crime: 962.8 violent crimes per 100,000 people

Here is the most direct route from New York City:

Click on the map for driving instructions.

Click Here for the Department of Immigration....en francais
Ryder lets you rent moving trucks to Canada
Here is some information about Hockey and Curling
LaBatts, the best thing to come out of Canada since Molson
Want to get to Canada faster? Fly AirCanada

Blue State Blues

Views from a Blue State
Here are some Letters to the Editor from The NY Daily News.

Civics lesson
Bronx:
I'll never vote again. I was told my vote counts, but obviously that went out the window along with my hopes and dreams for a safer, more prosperous, healthier world. I've had enough of my vote being wasted. Let's go destroy the inaugural. Don't we have a constitutional right to overthrow the government? -Grisela Sanabria
--Vote or Die. So your vote only counts when your candidate wins? I voted for George Bush in New York City...Do you think my vote counted for anything? As for a right to overthrow the government....no, but you do have a right to not vote, use it in 2008.

Morning after
Flushing: To all Americans who voted for President Bush: Maybe you'll get it when you're standing on the unemployment line, sending your children off to fight a senseless war and losing your health insurance. -Cindy Bomzer
--Are you talking to me or the Democrats like John Edwards and Tom Daschle who were fired this week? I still have my job and in October 337,000 people were hired nationwide.

Unity this
Brooklyn: Bush will get no unity from New York City. We supported John Kerry because we want no part of Bush's crusades. Yeah, Mr. Bush. We got your unity right here, and it was for Kerry. -David Michaelson

--David, 40% of New York went for Mr. Bush, better than he did in 2000. Plus, it looks like your unity was less for Kerry than it was for "not-Bush". Check the ballot, "not-Bush" was not running and Kerry lost. Get over it.

Not our kind
Manhattan: The country has spoken. Middle America wants an unmanageable war, tax cuts for the rich, massive deficits and extreme right-wing social values. Maybe it's time for the Northeast to secede from those idiots. - William Miller

--Check this map out. Red streches from sea to shining sea. Try this on the map, take your finger and run it right-to-left, you could do that and touch only red without lifting your finger, not so with blue. Now take that finger and shove it up your....

Reasonable dialogues
Whitestone: As a daily reader of all the New York newspapers, I particularly enjoy letters to the editor. I supported John Kerry for President — but I was amazed to see so many really vitriolic letters from some people who were resorting to name-calling of Bush supporters. George W. Bush did win the election fairly, I believe, without any shenanigans. Thus, he deserves, as Kerry stated in his concession speech, support from all Americans. We can only hope that the President and his administration will listen carefully to all the diverse citizens who cast their votes and will be open enough to change previously held views for different approaches when warranted. -Leonore Brooks

--Amen, someone did not drink the DNC Kool-Aid.

Kerry Is Now a Bigger Loser

Iowa has finally called in their results and it's another state for Bush. That means, from 2000, only 1 red state (New Hampshire) switched over to the dark side and 2 (Iowa and New Mexico) turned red.

Final Tally
Bush - 286
Kerry - 252