Tuesday, January 23, 2007

State of the Blog

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Madam Malkin, Vice President Reynolds, Members of Kos, distinguished commentors, and fellow Large Mammals:

This rite of custom brings us together at a defining hour – when comical posts are hard and spellcheck is tested.

From the start of this blog I've tried to "bring the funny", be sometimes relevant, and even serious now and then. From the start of this blog, I never tried to be fair or balanced...to Scott Harper that is.

Two years and five months ago, I started this little site to express my asinine opinion and to take my fart jokes online. I still have lots of farts and more asinine opinions than a Saturday night bingo game, but like a case of gonorrhea, this blog has ran it's course. As of tonight, GOP and the City will become inactive.

While I'll continue to be active in politics, I plan to take my drive out of the blogosphere and into the "real world". I haven't declared that I'm a Democratic presidential candidate like everyone else. I plan on volunteering my time to help out the Rudy 2008 campaign. I have not told the wife, so keep it between me and you.

This site has 247,746 hits as of right now. Most were google searches for nude pictures of Mario Vasquez, however I did have a few people who were regulars. I am proud of the number of posts that drove people to laugh or call me stupid. I am proud that my brother and I put MoveOn.Org's feet to the fire and got them a little red in the face - and my graphic on Brit Hume's The Grapevine. I am proud of the one interview for Allman and Smash that I did. I am proud that my mother and grandmother liked this site (reasons #1 and #2 for me not creating posts with words like cock, dickweed, and Cleveland Steam Plate). Most of all I am proud of the people I have interacted with because of this blog to name a few: RFTR, Wyatt, Kitty, Pam, Cowboy Blog, Bob Owens, Rusty, VtheK, Brainster, Frank J, Sobek, Flip, and countless others.

Those of you that are already missing my sweet words, I will still post over at Blogs4Bauer. I will also continue to contribute over at UrbanElephants - even though it sometimes seems that all I add are the weekly Hillary Clinton caption contests. I will also keep this blog from being deleted, because I will still visit your website and leave silly comments that do nothing but make you scratch your head and wonder who the hell I think I am.

I tried to remain anonymous on this site mainly because I work in an industry that frowns on anyone left of Keith Olbermann. No despite what you have heard, I'm not a crack whore from Philly. However, I also wanted to let fellow New Yorkers know there's a Republican in your midst and I could've been anyone - the guy who cuts his finger nails on the E-train today (dude that was sick). I could've been your buddy, cubical mate, or even the guy who stole your lunch from the office fridge. After so long, my cover has almost been blown countless times. Like the time I accidentally hit Control-P and printed the whole blog to an office printer next to my office and didn't realize it for hours. My cover has almost never been blown. Because I am The Man.

Blogger sucks and God Bless America.
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Has Jack Bauer Jumped the Roof?


I have been a fan of Fox's 24 for some time. But after last night's episode, where Jack climbs on a roof to save a man from a crashed helicopter, I have to wonder about the future of this season's plot line.
Has Jack Bauer Jumped the Roof?

Monday, January 22, 2007

Jack Bauer is Back! (again)


Will the old Jack Bauer return tonight? Will his new ability to glow in the dark hurt or help his kill counter point total? Will the ghosts of Ryan Chappelle and Curtis Manning seek revenge?

Check out Blogs4Bauer's Kill Counter Challenge.

Friday, January 19, 2007

Weekend Caption Contest

Obama Who? Caption Contest
(Source - AP)

Top Entries
5.
-Cowboy Blob
4. "step right up, step right up, see your freaks and geeks in the Deomcrat house of horror's, yes it's true you will see the bearded lady speaker Pelosi, and hillary without her make up, Step right up folks! - Sssteve
3. Obama holds a press conference in front of the only living thing with bigger ears than him: circus elephants. - Wyatt Earp
2. Announcing he is officially running for President, Obama introduces his running mate in '08...Carrot Top - Renee
1.
- Alan


Photoshop Entries


- Alan





-Cowboy Blob








Previous Contests
Edwards Eats Babies
Merry Hillmas
Castro Caption Contest
Joyeux Anniversaire Caption Contest
Holiday Caption Contest

Caption Contest Classic (1/20/06)
Mission Accomplished Caption Contest

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Generation Duhhh

Teaching American History is very important, especially parts of our history that we are not too fond of. I grew up in a town where a major Civil War battle took place. We learned about the Civil War from our teachers in Tennessee History, US History, and even World History. We were taught the reasons for the Civil War (slavery, states rights, blah blah) and the results.

Every major civilization has its internal conflicts, and America was able to grow into a better place because of it. Now to the story at hand, a school in Clarksville, TN got some attention because of the way they taught the Civil War.

Ringgold Elementary gained national attention this week because of an activity that took place in November, when students were randomly paired as slaves and masters to illustrate pre-Civil War America.
Interesting, however you know that some dumbass student would have to ruin it for all the students.

The activity, which had been in place for four years, drew criticism when one student continued acting out her role as a master in a subsequent class. Math teacher Lettie Kendall said the student told her she didn't have to complete a math assignment because, as a master, she didn't have to listen to Kendall, who is black.

"I said, 'Why aren't you working?' " Kendall recalled. "She jumped out of her chair and said, 'I'm a master.' "
The role-playing activities have been canceled. I'd hate to see what happened when it came time to teach about the Holocaust.

(Source - Tennessean)

Carnival of Bauer!!!


The Carnival of Bauer!!! has been posted at Blogs4Bauer

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

24 Point/Counterpoint

Point: No they didn't!
By Perez Hilton

Did you see 24 the other night? Tragic! Can you believe that horrendous shirt that Jack had on? Put a bro on those manboobs, there are children present! Then there's Chloe, oh what a walking disaster area. This brings me to the point of this post. Why did the terrorists nuke LA? What do they have against very pretty and somewhat important people?

What is the point of having a bomb go off like Axel Rose on a 3 week bender in Sunny SoCal? We can only hope to the celebrity Gods (like P.Diddy) that the nuke went off and will only affect parts of LA where the ugly people live.

Hayden Christensen. Princess Skankienna swears he's not gay. But then again, who cares, he's probably dead now?

Our pal John Stamos was the belle of the ball at the NBC after-party for the Golden Globes. However, he never made it to my post-after-party. A little birdie told me that he was in Valencia for a coke deal. Looks like the Full House reunion is off!

Then there is Justin who bolted the after-party after Cammie D got too clingy. Clingy like Jack "ManBoobs" Bauer's t-shirt! Did he survive the nuclear blast or is there still hope that he gets back with the Backstreet Boys?

Only ManBoobs Bauer can ensure that Lindsey, Britt, and Paris survive to live another day. Another day of getting blasted and showing their crotches off to the world! Without LA, where will our beautiful people live? Santa Clara? With four more nukes left, let's hope that the terrorists think twice before attacking any more pretty people.

NY Post Booty Poll

Today's NY Post has an interesting poll on what Americans are doing in between the sheets. Since this is a family site somewhat geared towards politics, I will skip all the juicy parts and dish out the boring part about politics in the bedroom.


Other facts not released by the NY Post Booty Poll:
-Democrats are more likely to blame Bush for poor performance in bed; Republicans tend to cite the 2006 election results.

-Republicans may use text messaging to initiate sex with Congressional Pages; Democrats are more likely to use cigars and interns.
-Democrats are more likely to want to have sex with Obama, even though they are not sure why.
-94% of Republicans find it gross that Time magazine's list of emoticons for 2007 included one for those who are "not ashamed to admit I have a slight crush on Nancy Pelosi".

Got other results that were not listed in the Post article? Post them in the comments section and remember to try and keep them somewhat clean.
(Source - NY Post)

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

24 Opens with a Boom


All I have to say about last night's episode(s) is "wow". Can you believe they killed Curtis and nuked LA in one segment? More coverage at Blogs4Bauer.

Friday, January 12, 2007

Weekend Caption Contest

Silky Pony Caption Contest
(Source - Associated Ponies)

Top Entries
6. (both thinking) "Boy I'm sure glad I don't have to change his diaper." - Rodney Dill
5. "Now, if only your birth had been bungled, I could have made a killing in malpractice fees!" - Damian G
4. The blood of the innocent! So THAT's how he maintains his youthful appearance! - Cowboy Blob
3. "You shouldn't be so happy, kid, because there are two Americas, and you live in the crappy one." - RFTR
2. John Edwards eats babies - My sister
1.
-Cowboy Blob